Author�s Notes: I Still Haven�t Found What I�m Looking For is by U2.
I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
I rejoin the rest of the team at Catherine�s house. I tell them the good news, that the body�s not Catherine�s. We get back to work with renewed determination.
Only to be with you
We still have reason to hope.
I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
We go over every inch of her driveway, spray for blood, we check everywhere.
These city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But we can�t find anything.
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
We head back to the lab, frustrated. We don�t know what to do next.
I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire
I tell Warrick to drive. I�m so upset right now I�d probably crash. She means everything to me, and I can�t help her.
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I sit in my office, with my head in my hands. The rest of the team is waiting in the break room for my next instructions, but I have no instructions to give. Finally, it�s all just too much, �What the hell am I supposed to do now?!� But no one answers my anguished cry. She�s not here to.
I have held the hand of a devil
The phone rings, interrupting my private torment. �Grissom�
A smug voice answers, �Okay, Mr. Grissom, listen to me��
It�s him. I know it is as well as I know my name. With that knowledge, something inside me snaps, �Who are you? Do you have Catherine? If you hurt her, so help me��
He interrupts me, �You�re going to want to be quiet now. I have her, so I call the shots. You�re going to want to keep your temper under control if you want to have any chance of seeing her again.�
I force myself to swallow my anger, �What do I need to do?�
�That�s better. Just do as I say.�
He tells me what he wants-money. It takes every fiber of my being not to scream obscenities at him. All this, just for money. Finally, he�s done. Girding up all of my courage, I ask the question that haunts me, �Is Catherine still alive?�
�Yes,� and before I can respond, he�s gone.
It was warm in the night
For two hours, I try frantically to come up with the money. A tap is put on my phone for when he calls again. The rest of the team has left. Brass thinks he�s found Catherine�s car.
I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
Then, the phone rings. I freeze. It can�t be him, it�s only been two hours. He said I had four. I pick up the phone.
�Do you have the money?�
NO, it can�t be. I panic, �You said four hours, it�s only been two.�
I can hear him smiling across the line, �Now it�s two. Do you have the money?�
I plead with him, �Not yet, just give me more time��
�No more time, Mr. Grissom. She�s as good as dead.�
I freeze for a moment. This can�t be happening, not when we�re so close, �NO, please��
�It�s too late, Mr. Grissom. Goodbye.�
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
He hangs up, and I drop my head to my desk. She�s gone. We have no more chances.
I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
I hear Archie come into the room. I look up, �Was he on the phone long enough?� He shakes his head.
Bleed into one
I don�t hear anything after that. Not because I can�t, I don�t want to.
Well yes I'm still running
Suddenly, I get up out of my chair and bolt from the room, leaving a confused Archie in my wake.
You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
I reach the restroom just in time. I kneel and heave, unable to stop either that or the tears streaming down my face. I hope that no one comes in. I can�t let anyone see me like this, but I can�t make it stop.
Of my shame
She�s gone. I failed her.
You know I believed it
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
Once I�ve stopped, I compose myself and exit. I re-enter my office and find the team there, waiting for me. They all look uncomfortable. Finally, Warrick steps forward and speaks, �It was her car.�
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
There�s silence. I wait for the other shoe to drop, there�s something they�re not telling me. Then, he speaks again, �The inside was covered in blood.�
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...
TBC
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