Author�s Notes: When I�m Gone is by 3 Doors Down.
There�s another world inside of me that you may never see,
I want to scream. After hours of struggling, I�ve managed to loosen my bonds, a little. Now he�s come and tightened them again. There�s no way I have the strength to loosen them again.
There�s secrets in this life I can�t hide.
After he leaves, a lone tear rolls down my cheek. I no longer have the strength for anything more.
Well, somewhere in this darkness, there�s a light that I can�t find
Well, maybe its too far away, maybe I�m just blind
The only thing that�s keeping me sane is believing that Gill will find me in time. As improbable as that hope is, I have to keep believing.
Maybe I�m just blind,
It�s all I have left.
So hold me when I�m here,
Love me when I�m wrong,
Hold me when I�m scared,
And love me when I�m gone.
Gil and I, we had been on the periphery of something wonderful before this happened. We were finally ready to allow ourselves the chance to make our friendship into something more.
Everything I am,
And everything in me,
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be.
I was so happy when I got home from work this morning, for once everything was going my way. For a crystalline moment, everything seemed perfect.
I�ll never let you down,
Even if I could,
I will not die here. I will not allow all that Gil and I have fought so long for be taken away by a madman.
Give up everything,
If only for your good,
I will win.
So hold me when I�m here,
Love me when I�m wrong,
Another tear slips past my defenses.
Hold me when I�m scared,
You won�t always be there,
So love me when I�m gone.
I wish Gil was here.
So love me when I�m gone
I don�t want to be alone anymore.
When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin,
I won�t tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends.
I force myself to stop the tears when I hear laughter.
Now roaming through this darkness,
I�m alive but I�m alone,
I will not let him think he broke me.
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone.
Except maybe he has.
So hold me when I�m here,
Love me when I�m wrong,
I hope Lindsey�s okay. I�m so glad she wasn�t with me when this happened. If something had happened to her because of me, I would never forgive myself.
Hold me when I�m scared,
I don�t know how she�ll cope. She�s already lost her father. Now she�s going to lose her mother, too.
And love me when I�m gone.
I hope she knows just how much I love her.
Everything I am,
And everything in me,
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be.
Since she was born, I have tried so hard to be someone she could be proud of. I stopped doing coke, I stopped dancing, she deserved more than a mother like that.
I�ll never let you down,
Even if I could,
I hope she�s proud of me.
Give up everything,
If only for your good,
That�s all I ever wanted from her.
So hold me when I�m here,
Love me when I�m wrong,
I know Jenny�s probably taking care of her right now. And Gil will help after�
Hold me when I�m scared,
After.
You won�t always be there,
So love me when I�m gone.
They�ll make sure she knows just how much I loved her.
Maybe I�m just blind.
I blink back the tears threatening as I hear him enter the room again.
So hold me when I�m here,
Love me when I�m wrong,
I can hear him coming closer to me. When he kneels by me, I want to flinch away, but I don�t have the energy to. He begins to undo my restraints.
Hold me when I�m scared,
I am finally free, and I don�t have the strength to escape. What�s going to happen now?
And love me when I�m gone.
TBC
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