Disclaimers: Not mine, song�s not mine either. Don�t sue, I have no money.
Feedback: Makes me very, very happy.
Author�s Notes: Set before the show. The chapters will alternate between Catherine�s POV and Grissom�s POV. This chapter is Catherine. The song Cage the Songbird is by Elton John.
Sober in the morning light
Things look so much different
To how they looked last night
I wake up slowly, painfully. As I look around, I notice that I�m on the floor. What the hell happened last night? As I try to look around some more, I notice a stiffness in my face. I gently put my hand to my cheek and some dried blood flakes off. Ah, yes, I remember now. Eddie had gotten drunk. Again. And taken it out on me. Again. I slowly get myself up off the floor.
A pale face pressed to an unmade bed
Like flags of many nations flying high above her head
I go and check on Lindsey, who is sleeping peacefully in her bed. Good, she didn�t hear us last night. I continue on to mine and Eddie�s bedroom, hoping he�s not still there.
The cellophane still on the flowers
The telegram still in her hand
As whispers circulate all day
Their back-stage baby princess passed away
He�s not. I look at the room and my eyes fill with tears at what my life has become. This isn�t what I want and there�s no way to stop it. As my eyes continue to roam, I spot the bottle of pills on the nightstand. There is one way.
And you can cage the songbird
But you can't make her sing
I make my way to the bed and pick up the pills. I swore to myself that it would never come to this, that�d I�d never let it come to this. But there�s nothing else. As my shaking hands open the bottle, I contemplate calling Grissom. He�ll come and help me, just like he always does. But I can�t, I won�t. I keep on expecting him to save me, this time I�ll save myself, the only way I can.
And you can trap the free bird
But you'll have to clip her wings
I started out this life with so many dreams, and them I watched them shatter one by one. I�m done now. Eddie doesn�t own me anymore. I won�t let him.
`Cause she'll soar like a hawk when she flies
But she'll dive like an eagle when she dies
With sudden determination, I swallow the handful of pills dry. I begin to choke and struggle to keep them down. I�ve failed at everything else, but I won�t fail at this. I refuse to.
Promises of no more lies
Fell flat upon an empty stage
Before the audience arrived
I begin to convulse and the pain is terrific. I think of Lindsey and almost try to make myself throw up, to reverse what I�ve done, but I don�t. *Lindsey I hope one day you�ll understand*. I won�t let Eddie win this time.
A return in time to the cheaper seats
She never knew what lay beneath
Just a dated handbill they found between the sheets
As consciousness drifts away, I hear the door slam shut. Good I think, just in time. I knew Eddie would be the one to find me. Then, I faintly hear Grissom�s voice. NO. He�s not the one who�s supposed to find me. I can�t do this to him.
Let down before the final curtain
A shallow heart that left her cold
But it�s too late. Through a long, dark tunnel, I hear him call out to me and then I hear him call 911. I want to tell him not to bother. It�s over now.
She left in rouge upon the mirror
A circled kiss to the faithful who'd miss her
*I�m so sorry Gil*, I think as darkness overtakes me. *Please forgive me.*
TBC
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