Quotes of the day:
"Some days it just doesn't pay to chew through the leather straps." ~ Emo Phillips
"Loosen up and stop being so serious." ~ advice from my drawing II instructor on how to improve my skills.
Damn it! Ever since I saw that episode of Greg the Bunny, I can't get 'Ah ig it' out of my head! Get out, get out, get OUT!!!
Dream fragment:
C.M. and I are just sitting, not saying a word. We sit and we sit. Finally, I am exasperated. I turn to him and say, "Is this all we're going to do? Just sit?" He nods his head.
Yep. This dream pretty much sums up that relationship.
FUBAR: a military (Navy, I think ~ not sure) acronym for F***ed Up Beyond All Recognition.
I think that is exactly what I've done and only it's taken me three days to figure it out. Not too swift on the upstart, I know. Some days I wonder what exactly I've missed along the way because there are just some things about this earth that I just can't seem to comprehend, including 'social interaction with other humans.'
In other words, somewhere along the way, my muzzle slipped. I think. I seem to have given my English Comp instructor the idea that I am only there for the class and that he has done absolutely nothing in the way of inspiring me or anything. When I showed up early for class on Friday he said, "You're just a good student, aren't you?"
What did I say? "Yeah." Sweet Epona, run me over with a big white horse right now before I do anything else as equally stupid. I didn't have a clue at the time. I remember thinking, Well, I hope I'm a good student but what does this have to do with anything? I am such a social idiot sometimes. Sheesh.
So, I need to apologize. I really didn't think my writing was very good before I took this class. There are fragments of stories that I've hung onto for nearly five years because I couldn't really own them. They just stayed hidden in my journals where they couldn't embarrass anyone until this semester. I look back over them now and I think that they have potential, although I admit that I felt guilty for admitting that I have been writing...but that's another topic altogether and I thought that I had dealt with it. I guess not.
Did he inspire me? Inspiration is such a nebulous thing that only gets the ball rolling and at times, it can be as common as flying buffalo. The better thing to say is this: he has encouraged me by the honest comments he's made on my papers and by the fact that on every paper, I have made A's with only one re-write where other students in the class have had to do several. Whether I am a competent writer or a good writer, I don't know (it never really occurred to me to ask) but the fact remains: he's shown me that I can do it and that is much better than the elusive inspiration, in my book.
Now, if only I can say it. Have they perfected tongue transplants yet?
Also on Friday: I checked out the auditorium before I arrived for English Comp ~ to see if anyone (or thing) who didn't belong there was hanging around. Some folks in my 2D Design class told me about the weird stuff that been happening in the auditorium while they were rehearsaling (rehearsaling? Is that a new acting technique?) ~ the back wall suddenly looking as if someone splashed something all over it when it had previously been clean, a humanoid shaped silouette standing next to said wall and three stage lights (again, over the back wall) that refused to be turned off. The report was that the light manager tried to turn them off from the light box (the control room on the opposite end of the auditorium from the stage) and all the lights behaved as they should except the middle three. He turned all the lights back on and tried again ~ same result. He decided to walk on stage to check the situation out but when he got to the center of the stage, the lights did a 'three second fade' and went out on their own. There supposedly wasn't anyone in the light box and there is no other way to turn them off.
In any case, there is a lot of energy there right now (which isn't surprising, since rehearsals for that damn play are going until midnight several nights a week) but I don't think I picked up any presences. There was an instance where I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye but it could have just as easily been light reflecting off my glasses. The students who told me this didn't know of anything like that happening before. I think it was just an incorporeal 'passerby' who was attracted by all the commotion and energy generated by the group. It just didn't sound like a true haunting since it doesn't seem to be happening that regularly. Still, the place could use a good cleansing, just so other (and possibly nastier) critters don't get curious.
I bet the students who told me this think I am one strange person. I perked right up and started asking questions: What exactly happened? Has it happened before? Were there any cold spots? Is that all that's happened -- nothing's disappeared or tools starting up on their own or anything?
Just call me Azrael's handmaiden, ready to dispatch ghosts and ghouls home, where they belong. Damn, it's been entirely too quiet on that front lately (she said, knowing full well that she should beware what she wishes for.) Sheesh.
Page Copyright 2002 D. Firewolf
