| Sunday, Jan 20th, 2001 Why is DNA shaped like that? You know, deoxyribonucleic acid, the stuff our chromosomes are made out of. It's shaped in that double-helix thing. Why? That seems incredibly ineficient to me. I would think that evolution would have weeded it out long ago. I find it absolutely incredible the amount of snot the human body is capable of producing. Particularly my human body. What is the biological reasoning behind snot anyway? What functional purpose could it possibly serve? Has anyone else ever heard of Ted Kaczynski's brother? He was arrested recently for sending boats full of explosives out into the Pacific Ocean and killing thousands of fish. Yeah, he was the tunabomber. Why do people find it amusing that I am sick? Just because I am disoriented and easily confused does not mean that you should mock me. Bring it up later and we'll all have a good laugh. That way I can be in on the joke too. I would like to thank the guy at the Derb last night for breaking my fall. If it hadn't been for his considerable body mass, I probably would have landed on my face. I would like to take this time to apologize to him as well. I am sure that he did not expect me to land on him like that. There was a snake in a car outside of Varney's. It was fake, but it wasn't even a good fake. Why do people bother making poor fakes like that? Who do they think they are fooling? Even more puzzling is the consumer that buys the obvious mockery. Why are there so many stupid things in this world? Chris says it's because the smart people are trying to make money off of the confusion of the dumb people but that answer troubles me: since I never knew that before, what does that say about my own intelligence? Here's a stroy about Jelly Man Kelly: he loves jelly the most. But most of all, Jelly Man Kelly loves jelly on toast. To the incredibly creative person who wrote "penis" in 10 foot letters in the snow in the field outside of Haymaker: thank you for adding a little humor to everyone's day. At the same time however, I laughed so hard that I started coughing and I could not breathe for several seconds. Next time you choose to excercise some 1st Amendment power, do it when I am not so sick so I can enjoy it more. Isn't a sphere the most efficient 3-dimensional shape in terms of surface area to volume? I think that spheres will be very important in the future because of this. Waffle Houses are the single greatest property-value destroying entity ever created by man. Our latest "get rich quick" scheme is to 1) Open a Waffle House in the middle of Cedar Creek. 2) Buy the severly devalued property for dirt cheap. 3) Demolish the Waffle House, destroying any evidence that it ever existed. 4) Re-sell the property for it's original list price, which, as any Olathe resident can vouch for, is considerable. Then we take the money and repeat the process in Mission Hills, Halbrook Estates and Nottingham. For those of you that do not know, I have been very sick since Friday morning. I am told that I am somewhat humorous when I am ill and I know that the guys on 7th floor Haymaker got a kick from my rambling so I thought you all might as well too. I am still quite sick but things are looking up. At any rate, I am glad that this is a 3 day weekend because I am sure that I would not feel up to going to class tomorrow. Have a groovy day and stay out of trouble! (trouble???) -shaggydave the not so shaggy anymore |
| Feverish Ramblings of a Sick Little Boy By Davy Plumb |