For those poor college students living above the Mason-Dixon Line, there is no month quite like April. The once cruel, unforgiving temperatures of winter give way to balmy spring afternoons. Birds with the common sense to abandon the frozen wastelands of campus return with their cheerful songs about� well, whatever the hell birds sing about. The flowers bloom, and the grass returns in its radiant green beauty. Even the trees, whose barren, empty branches conjure images of Death�s own scepter, give forth their leaves of hope. Winter is gone, and happiness has returned.
But most importantly, half-naked Hot Chicks make their triumphant return.
As punishing as winter is, its far most insidious attack is the multiple layers it forces on the co-eds we came to college to ogle. On the rare occasion that a Hot Chick is seen in public, she is wearing articles of clothing which are downright demonic in their ability to conceal. Jack Frost may nip at our nose, but Larry Libido has his own agenda, and it doesn�t include just 6.5 square inches of exposed skin on Hot Chicks. It is a true testament to the strength, courage, and resolve of men everywhere that they can retain their sanity. If not to those, anyway, to Internet pornography.
So I say welcome back to the young, attractive Hot Chicks whose shaved legs and skin-tight clothes make any campus far more beautiful than any plant life. I know you�ve been living in your dorm rooms or apartments or sorority rooms surviving off Dexatrim and ramen noodles, and that must be difficult. Rest assured that as you emerge from your winter dwellings with heads held high and shirts cut low, we appreciate it, and ask from the bottoms of our ever-loving hearts� want to go get drunk?
The guys have heard me say it a million times before... but there'll always be a reason to say it again: "I LOVE college!"
-djp
[written August '01]
Here is a little about myself:
I was born at a very early age in bed with my mother. I am an aquarius, born in 1983 which makes me 19 as of the last time this page was updated.
I am currently a sophomore at Kansas State University. I am undecided about my major, and I am studying a little bit of everything, but mostly frisbee and girls.
I am an Eagle Scout, and an avid camper. I believe with all my being that there is something magical about sleeping out underneath the stars and I try to take every opprotunity to do so. I have climbed mountains, dove to the depths, braved the wrath of nature, and grown to become the person I am with some of the greatest young men, and greatest friends God ever placed on this earth. I thank you all for the experiences and opprotunities that I have been blessed with thus far, and continue to be blessed with. Tim, Weminuche was incredible! I'm already looking into going back next summer, I'll keep you updated.
I am the captain of a 22' Catalina Sailboat based on Clinton Lake. She is unnamed, but I am taking suggestions. If you ever want to go sailing, talk to me - I am always looking for an excuse to go... unless you are some kind of weiner! Sailing is not for pansies or girly-men! (Geo is an exception, haha.)
I have many hobbies including sailing, camping, skiing (both snow and water), rock-climbing, music, ignoring calculus assignments, eating, jogging, playing ultimate frisbee, and raising hell with my buds.
With any free time I do manage to stumble across, I read a lot of books and I play the drums on my legs until they are bruised (there is no room for a drum-set in my dorm room).
I hope that this has given you a little insight into my life, and I hope that you decide to come back when I have had time to actually work on this web page a little. By the way, Yahoo PageBuilder is a piece of crap. This program is worse than writing in raw HTML (which i have done).
I want to send my deepest apologies to anyone who thinks that jellyfish have a right to exist on this planet. They don't even have a ganglion! Also, llamas are the goofiest looking creatures God ever placed on this planet, except maybe for Jayhawks! (haha)
Sidenote: It is completely un-american to put regular butter on your peanut-butter and jelly sandwitches. All who do so shall henceforth be placed in a vat of that goo that mutated the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles until they are transmogrified into giant talking llamas.
Special notes to the guys on 3rd floor Moore: Fizbee iz good. Foliage is healthy. Coconut is nasty. Roast beef is VERY good! Ass Looka'!
Y'know women mate... like MONKEY'S they are!
Now LEAVE, silly don-kay.
DAVE, WAIT!!!!!
