Rime of the Ancient PitSlave
Part I
It is an ancient Pitslave
And he stoppeth one of Three
"By the dickless dong and bloodshot eye,
Now wherefore pave'st thee?"
"The ListKeeps List is long,
And I am the lowliest;
The Pavers pave, the PitSlaves slave;
I mine with all the rest."
He burns him with his cigarette;
"There was The Plan!" quoth he.
"Hold off! unhand me, dickless loon!
Thou freaketh outeth me!"
He holds him with his bloodshot eye -
The Driver in his spell,
And listened like The HPS
The Pitslave hath his will.
"The Plan was praised, the List was writ,
Merrily did we drive
Below the roil, Above the Pit,
With PaveTarts by our side"
"The chromed moon rose upon the left,
Out of the Pit came it -
And it shone bright, then on the right
Went back into the Pit."
"Brighter and brighter every day,
'til over the roiling gloom -"
The Driver howled and chucked his brew
for he loathed this dolt buffoon.
The Driver howled and chucked his brew
Yet he cannot choose but stay;
And thus spake on that ancient kook,
The Dickless PitSlave, Dave.
"And now the PitBoss came, and he
Sang us all a song.
He zapped us with his cattle prod,
Then poked us with his mighty prong."
"With slothy hands and dripping brow,
The PitBoss followed yell and blow
Still poking prongs and prodding low,
And leftward turned his head,
A HyperCar passed, insanely fast,
And to the right we fled."
"And now there came both roil and smog
And wonderous acid-rain,
Then tar, waste-deep, began to seep,
From under the bitumen."
"Then through the roil, a patch of blue
did paint a dismal scene
Not Chromist ships nor PitSlave Pits
Just asphalt all between."
"The tar was here, the tar was there,
The tar was up to our very spines!
The asphalt belched and seeped the tar,
Like seeping tar belches from asphalt sometimes"
"At length did cross this Chromist Freak,
Through the roil came thee;
As if he'd been to Tiny's Place
And really had to pee"
"He drank our drink then drank and drank
Then plunged into the boiling tar -
The tar then ceased and cleared a path
To Tiny's mobile HyperBar."
"And a roiling wind sprung up behind;
The Chromist Freak did follow,
And every day, for brew or pay,
Came to the PitSlave's hollo!"
"In roil or fog, through haze and smog,
He followed for vespers nine;
His crusty brow and flatulent
Glown brilliant bright under Chromed Moonshine."
"The Plan save thee, oh ancient slave!
From Drivers and fiends and Beers so weak! -
Why look'st thou so? - and with one swift blow
I clocked that weirdo Chromist Freak"
Part 2.
Back to the PavePage[tm].