The Rime of the Ancient PitSlave
Part II
"The Chromed Moon rose now from the right,
Out of the Pit came it,
Yet free of roil, and on the left
Sank back into the Pit."
"And HyperBar path still gave way,
but no Chromist Freak did follow
Nor any day for brew nor pay
Came to the PitSlave's hollo!"
"Thought I had done a Paveley thing,
Thought I, it'd bring us brew;
Yet all concurred I was a turd,
Unscrupulous truisms flew.
Absurd! They'd speak; You clocked the freak!
The Drivers will come! The brew will be weak!"
"Nor roil nor fog, nor haze nor smog,
The glorious Chromed Moon uprist;
Then all concurred 'twas I the turd
That cleaned up the roiling mist."
"Yet HyperBar path still gave way,
Though quickly filling with tar;
And we were the first that ever burst
Into that brewless bar."
"Down dropped the blinds and disco ball,
'Twas frightful and obscene!
The tap was dry! No beer! No rye!
And the air was pathetically clean.
We tried to escape, this place was absurd;
The doors were locked! They called me a turd."
"Our scout spied out to look about,
And watched with dismay the tar disappear
Ounce by ounce, drop by drop,
The thick black tar transformed into beer."
"Day after day, night after night,
We drank not your way nor MyWay;
As pointless as a painted line
Upon a two lane highway."
"Molson, Miller, everywhere,
And all the bar did stink;
Lite, Bass, Guinness, Budwieser,
Yet nary a drop to drink."
"The deepest Pit hath leaked; Oh Christ!
That ever this could be!
Yea, small furry creatures with legs
Swimming through the brewery sea."
"I saw the PitBoss swimming by,
As happy as a clam;
A crab had had clutched his cattle prod,
And looked like smoking ham."
"He raised his glass. A Toast! A Boast!
His middle finger too.
A crab then clutched his mighty prong
And broke the thing in two."
"And every tongue, through heinous thirst ,
Was withered and contorted;
I saw their looks and weary eyes,
And worried how they'd have me sorted."
No beers to drink! No cow to eat!
No PaveTarts kneeling at our feet!"
In place of rope around my kneck,
They hung the tarry Chromist Freak."
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