I had a system, some criteria; he’d have to initiate
contact and then I would respond. I wanted to know the guy could spell and
if he had a sense of humor, among other things. We’d write a few emails
followed up by some phone conversations, and then - the meeting. After a
while I realized I was meeting and dating guys I would not normally date
if I had I met them first. I can only presume this was due to a false
sense of familiarity cultivated during anonymous exchanges in cyber-space.
I changed my system and tried to meet the men as soon as possible to see
if there would be a better sense of whether or not there was a connection.
Either way, when I met an online date I would think, “OK, maybe I can work
with this”, but I was never really exited about any one of them. I was
dating though, and that was just good enough to go on a second date, and a
third…..you get the picture.
That statement is really disturbing when you think
about it. We’ve all probably “settled” at one point, but the problem with
online dating is that you don’t really know what you’re getting or
settling for. Other than being single, there’s no other commonality that
brings you together with this person; all you have is a profile. The
profile is pure marketing where everyone is describing themselves in the
best light possible. He may sound great, but could actually be someone
very different than what he’s presenting. He has also read your profile
and knows what you are looking for and who you want him to be. Without
even knowing you, these men know that you like him for who he says he is
and he knows that is what he has to deliver to date you. Anyone can
sustain a certain image for a while; the question is for how long? .
Through my online dating experiences, I have found that
not one of these men has turned out to be whom or what he made himself out
to be in his profile. Sometimes you can figure this out right away, but
other times not until you’ve invested much of yourself and your time.
The majority of single moms I know don’t want to date
for recreation, but to ultimately find a relationship that lasts. My
experience has helped me discover that the men you will meet online are
not long term relationship candidates. Of course there are exceptions to
this, but I haven’t personally met one and neither has any other single
mom that I know of. In fact, some single moms who have had relationships
with men they met online (never lasting more than a year, myself included)
have found them back online and misrepresenting themselves in their
profiles in order to appeal to as many unsuspecting women as possible.
Aside from the exes, there are also men that “juggle” several women at a
time, even after telling the women they are in an exclusive relationship.
The dating sites encourage this type of juggling to occur since so many
women are only a mouse click away!
I’ve found that if I’m paying attention, there are
plenty of men out there to meet as a result of having some common ground.
Not only is this safer, but the men I’ve dated that I met by chance or
through friends and acquaintances, have always been more in tune with what
I’m looking for. Somehow, having some commonality that brings us together
makes it all seem more authentic instead of contrived, like a dating site
profile.
Interested in dating click here :
