RELEASE DATE: 1956
RATED: Unrated
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider - 1/12/08
We begin the film by joining up with the starfish people, who talk through their single eye, about how earth must be visited. They agree that Japan is the perfect landing place. Why, not sure but I�m assuming they perhaps picked up signals from other ocean life in a fish market somewhere. The starfish also makes mention of a Dr. Kimura who is a scientist that must be spared. They decide to send #1 to penetrate earth in this first visit. Yes, they use the terms �penetrate� and �#1� in a sentence by the way. Silly starfish.
Back on the third rock from the sun, Dr. Kimura meets up with a young reporter. Apparently Kimura has seen some freaky deaky things on his massive telescope. All Kimura can confirm is that he knows nothing at all. Hmmm�I can see why he is so important to the starfish people.
Meanwhile at the 9486 mile long super telescope, the operator Toru notes a few falling objects. This causes a huge electrical disturbance in all areas around the world. Later that night, Kimura finds himself deep in thought with Toru about the phenomenon. During this meeting, a flying saucer is noted by one of the neighbors. I should point out that the starfish people�s transportation makes a shrill that virtually annihilates ever sense of equilibrium the viewer may have.
The next day the press goes crazy;
Unidentified Flying Object Sighted!
Flying Saucer Falls In Tokyo Bay!
The DarkSider Cooks Largest Schezwan Meal In Flying Saucer!
Meanwhile, people from geishas to merchant fisherman are seeing monsters . Yeah that�s an odd range of people but that�s what the film shows so don�t blame me. The film switches back to the mondo telescope where scientists are doing the standard �walking around frantically looking at the their clipboard �thing. Kimura decides the best course of action is firing up a rocket to capture a UFO on film. So the whole entire organization sets up this thingamajig and gets it on film�pretty much looking like it does in the telescope. Um�ok that was a waste of time for them apparently.
So what does a lousy movie need at this point? What, a plot line you say? Nope, a musical number out of nowhere comes up and the starlet of the show notices a starfish person staring at her. I guess aliens like an awful show tune or two. Anyhow, the failed #1 Alien heads home and finds herself in #2. She talks to her superiors and informs them that she was unable to make contact due to the earthling�s fear. However she decides the best way to get in touch with the humans is to assume the likeness of the starlet from the show. Hot chick over a starfish form, gee you think? Intelligent life, I think not. Anyhow, all this results in a corny transformation sequence of the starfish to the starlet.
Anyhow, back on earth Kimura and his scientist buddies are chilling out in the wilderness. As they have their �gee that was a close one� conversation, Toru and Taeko find the body of the starlet. The police go inform the incognito #1 Alien of her �doubles� death. They haul her via train to confirm the body. For whatever reason they stay in a village full of annoying singing teenagers. Toru, while playing tennis, notes that the starlet imposter has superhuman strength. He runs this by a fellow scientist named Matsuna who decides its best to run fingerprints off her racquet.
On cue, #1 shows up in human form and explains things out a bit. Ok ready for this�deep breath�the starfish aliens are from a planet called Paira who are a highly advanced race of people that having been watching earth for several years and they are there now to warn them of a runaway planet in the galaxy named �R� that is going to destroy earth and take out Paira so its important now that the two planets work together to stop the threat. Gasp�ok got that good?
Anyhow, the scientists go on the air, which gets broadcast everywhere. People, following B-movie rules, pretty much stop what they�re doing everywhere to listen. Of course most of the people find it to be funny.
Matter of fact a bunch of students make fun of it by yelling �Paira� over and over again to the point where it gets old really quick. Kimura and his buddies beg countries to fire up some nukes or whatever they can dig up towards �R�. The world congress puts the idea on hold because the end of the world can wait for their decision. The press goes nuts once again;
Planet �R�: Impending Planet Of Doom!
Critics Feel That Space People Don�t Exist
The DarkSider Having A World Ending Garage Sale This Weekend!
Planet �R� proves to be on schedule and the scientists monitor it. Matsuna gets visited by a mysterious man looking to buy the super bomb plans. Just know now that this story line with both 1.) never come full circle and 2.) make no contribution to the plot line. The only thing you need to know is Matsuna eventually gets kidnapped by this guy as the world starts to crumble from the approach of �R�.
Kimura monitors the planet�s approach as people panic in a rather fake manner. Laced in between these panics scenes are several shots of wildlife who really don�t seem to give a sh*t. Moving on, the world congress eventually decides to come through and countries everywhere shoot their nukes at the planet. However �R� pretty much is unaffected and the world seems a bit hopeless.
After more annoying destruction footage, the Starfish people decide to arrive in human form. Rather sucky timing if I must say so seeing half of the earth had been destroyed by this point. They claim that Matsuna is the man with the answers and they can help locate the missing scientist. The aliens find him through the ring which looks like it came out of a cereal box. Matsuna gives them the plans for the super bomb and they MacGyver themselves a super bomb on board their alien ship. Planet �R� is destroyed and after the fallout, earthlings and Pairans celebrate on a job well done in a lousy movie.
This film is about as goofy as it gets. The whole movie is pretty much dialog on aliens with a few shots of the gut wrenching laughter enduing aliens.
