RELEASE DATE: 1986
RATED: PG 13
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
The movie opens up with Harry Potter moving in to Hogwarts with his friends Ron and Hermoine. It is there they face the threat of he who should not be named...ok...now that the one joke is out of the way I can continue. In all actuality, there are two Harry Potters in this film; a junior and senior. Senior is played by the always odd Michael Moriarty and as for junior, say hello again to the kid who brought Atreyu to life in the Never Ending Storrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeee (uh uh-uhhhh uh-uh-uhhhhhh uh-uh-uh) Noah Hathaway. Joining the two Harrys is mother Anne and daughter Wendy.
Anyhow the Potter clan move in to a new apartment complete with a bunch of annoying neighbors. Lets run down the list to get it out of the way...what the hell its what the movie does;
1.) Eunice St. Clair - An odd older woman played by June Lockhart who later through the miracle of casting turns into her real life daughter Anne...stayed tuned it may or may not make sense later.
2.) Peter - A sleazy swinger played by the late Sonny Bono...meanwhile Cher was somehow staring in mainstream blockbusters making millions.
3.) Jeanette and Bill- A guy and chick who live above the Potters. Jeanette happens to be Julia Louis-Dreyfus in her "who would have known" acting days.
4.) Barry - Some hardcore marine guy on speed.
Most of these people become fodder anyhow so I don't know why I bothered listing them but oh well. Well anyhow, not wasting any time little Wendy's soul gets abducted by Turok the Evil Troll in the laundry room. Immediately she starts acting like she has had one too many Slurpies. Harry Sr. and Anne really don't seem to give two sh*ts about this odd behavior but the ever observant Harry Jr. takes heed right away.
Harry goes on to meet Eunice who quickly becomes his ally. Meanwhile Turok in Wendy form finds a new friend as well, Malcom. Malcom is played by long time wee fantasy creature journey man Phil Fondacaro. He actually is the man behind Turok in this movie as well. In a humorous bit, Turok befriends Malcom because he considers him an elf brother. Thats some funny sh*t right there.
Well lets cut to the chase since theres really not much to it; Turok is on a mission to bring by the days of kings and queens and guillotines. Why...well long ago in days I'm told he tried to take over the world unsuccessfully. He used to be lovers with Eunice but was turned into a troll for his evil efforts. Eunice is there to guard against his return.
Turok starts to turn the residents into all sorts of nasty fantasy things and shrubbery using a magic ring with a spike on the end. Well except for Jeanette who he turns into some kind of wood fairy or something. Anyhow, his mission is to overtake the entire apartment complex which he almost does until Harry Jr. and the younger version of Eunice lay down the line. Harry eventually finds and rescues Wendy's real body in the forest created by Turok. In a rather boring ending, Harry takes on a rather large troll thing and Turok ends up turning face and killing it. The Potter family moves on but apparently old Turok is up to no good waiting for a sequel involving goblins???
Oh well, the film keeps a basic thought and doesn't get too complex. The puppets...er...monsters are fun to watch and yes they have a lovely singing voice. I imagine this movie would have been made better by using mind altering substances but you do that on your own discretion.
Not a lot of that here however Turok does turn several people into wacky tabaccky looking plants with his little prick...hmmmm...how magical indeed...
1.) Turok - This fury fellow spent years in the laundry room waiting for his chance to return. I don't know why he waited so long...maybe he was caught in one of the dryer's lint traps or something.
