RELEASE DATE: 1959
RATED: Unrated
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider - 1/24/08
We start our tale in a diner where the owner is serving up shakes. I have to wonder, if you accumulated every film horror or otherwise from the 50s, what percentage would have an opening shot in a diner? Anyhow a group of teens, Reg, Julie and Morrie, are talking about the day�s plans. Morrie is heading out horseback riding but Reg and Julie plan to meet up with a few friends for water skiing. Morrie leaves and Reg�s friend Skip meets them at the diner. Skip make reference to an island which Reg and the group decide to check out.
Reg, Julie, Skip and his girlfriend Pam make it to the island. Side note, I found it awfully hard to buy that the boat they were using could be used for water skiing. I think at most it could pull a rubber duck. Anyhow, the group decide to check out the local scene and find pretty much nothing. However, they run across a group of stumbling workers led by a mysterious woman. When the woman notes their presence, the teens run away to their boat. However�gasp�their boat has disappeared. So at this point the group decides to venture out on the shore line looking for the boat in a time killing manner. I should also say that most viewers at this point will notice the scary background score simply won�t go away.
Anyhow, the group pretty much fail in their efforts and the boys decide to leave their women alone at shoreline in hostile territory to search for help. Where do these idiots end up? At the house of the very woman they ran away from earlier. Over soda pop they chastise the woman, named Dr. Myra, about their missing boat. She pretty much denies knowledge but out of nowhere they boys hear their girls in the house screaming. Turns out, Myra�s main henchman/zombie Ivan abducted them. The boys soon join them and through monologue we find out Myra�s plans to keep the teens on the island. Apparently she is behind some freaky science experiments which I guess we�re not supposed to guess at this point. The film�s title kind of sets it up though don�t you think?
Meanwhile back on the main land, Morrie talks to the diner owner about his missing buddies. He decides to grab his main squeeze Dotty and go to the Sheriff. The Sheriff putts around on the open sea a bit but comes back empty handed. Morrie, maybe not realizing that stealing a water vehicle can be punished by law, takes a boat with Dotty out to the island. Once there, they ends up at Dr. Myra�s house and pretty much repeat the scene Reg and Skip tried to act out earlier. When they leave however, they note a few shady folks landing on the island.
These two folks happen to be Myra�s benefactors. For commie reasons, they are trying to destroy the population of the United States and she is their key. She reports that progress is slow and to them this is unacceptable. Supposedly one of their old colleagues may have ratted on them. Myra claims she does have a formula on the back burner she can give out. She demonstrates this on a gorilla which I guess she keeps around as a pet just in a case a situation like this arrives. Think of it as her giant lab rat. The savage gorilla is apparently tamed by this and she says her next test subjects are the teens.
Anyhow, back on death island Reg and Skip pick the locks on their cage. Being true gentlemen, they guarantee their woman they�ll be back to pick their lock next. Thus leaving them for potential harm and impending doom in the process. The boys walk around the island looking for their boat pretty much forgetting that they already did that at the beginning of the film. They do however channel the powers of McGyver and put together a raft. They hide it in the bushes and return to their prison cell without a single potential weapon. Strategists they are not apparently.
Meanwhile back in Morrie�s little world, he phones up the Sheriff�s office again. By the way, why is only Morrie concerned with the kid�s disappearance. Didn�t all of the missing youngster spring from the loins a mother and father somewhere in town? Why aren�t the parents calling up day and night? Sigh�anyhow, the Sheriff�s assistant tells Morrie to go visit him at home because he�s on a call. (Um, did he honestly recommend that or am I hearing things?) Morrie does just that with Dotty and the Sheriff gives him the �yeah whatever� attitude until he agrees to go to the island with them.
At the island, Myra is almost ready to test the chemicals on the girls. Ivan goes down below and takes them out of their cage. Do the boys take this opportunity to beat Ivan�s skull in? Nope, they kind of sneak out after the girls are in harms way. Who knows at this point, maybe they wanted the girls out of the way to have more intimate time together.
Anyhow one of Myra�s cohorts folds under pressure and shows the teens the antidote. The teens test the antidote on Myra who comes to her wits only to destroy most of the solution. However, the teens get the antidote to the girls who switch back to their annoying normal form. Ivan arrives and kicks off another horrid and drawn out scuffle. Out of nowhere, the zombified gorilla makes a comeback which I suppose is supposed to enhance the film�s climatic excitement. He gets cured via the antidote which he laps up on the floor and goes on a monkey suit rampage. The teens make it off the island with Myra and one of her colleagues.
Well, the teens end up heading back to the sheriff�s office to meet with government officials. The government praises them for the actions which prompts an �aw shucks� reaction from the teens. They are to meet with the president in a few days and are offered anything they want. I guess a better script to read wasn�t part of that deal however.
The movie takes place in three different areas. The diner, island and sheriff�s office. Several scenes, in a little over an hour of film no less, virtually repeat themselves and it seems like nothing ever happens. Indeed this film had �zombies� in the title but the only people turning into zombies were those subjected to this piece of refuse. The zombies in this film came off as people trying to act preoccupied.
So I guess its pretty obvious this film capitalizes on cold war fears with Russian scientists out to destroy the States with an assistant conveniently named �Ivan�. Too bad I can�t look past the fact the film just sucks.
