RELEASE DATE: 1986
RATED: R
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
The TCM2 opens with a blurb telling us about the incidents of the TCM. They were no longer real in the eyes of the public but just an urban legend. Cut to a pair of annoying f*cks driving in a car shooting road signs on the highway. They tune in to a local station KOKLA, Red River Rock N' (f*cking) Roll. DJ Stretch, and producer LG, are playing a mix of wish wash crap that really didn't seem to fit into a rock format. Personally, I think a 24 hour Don Ho station would be more intense than the music on KOKLA. Anyhow, the guys give DJ Stretch a call and annoy the piss out of her. While on the phone they play chicken with a blue truck. After running the fellow off the road they call Stretch back at night.
During the phone call they encounter the blue truck they ran off the road on a bridge. They start racing the truck which drives backwards on the empty bridge. This whole chase scene was a little odd because for some reason, the boys in the car couldn't get a lead on the sh*ty blue truck going in reverse. Either their car is a lemon or the folks in the truck somehow found a way to make it run on cocain. Well anyhow, a corpse like character in desert fatigues is on the back of the truck with a chainsaw. It is actually our friend Leatherface in a special suit behind the corpse doing a twisted marionette show. The boys in the car get knocked off and DJ Stretch can't find a way get rid of the call so it goes out on the air. Ever hear of a dump button...or perhaps just hanging up like you normally would...anyone, anyone?
The next day Lt. 'Lefty' Enright (Dennis Hopper) is out at the crash scene. He is told to get lost by local law enforcement and we find out he is a relative of Sally and Franklin from TCM. Stretch catches up with him at a local hotel to see if he wants the tape of the murder. She knows of his mission to find the chainsaw killers. He doesn't want any of her help and sends her away.
Stretch goes with LG to cover the big news event in the Lone Star State, the chili cook off. And the winnah is...none other than Drayton Sawyer...aka the cook from the first TCM! Apparently him and the boys have gone into the cooking business with their special "meat" recipe.
Lefty heads out to one store I frequent from time to time, Cut Rite Chainsaws. He goes to the shack of a store and stocks up on the latest in chainsaw technology. Remember shop Rite...Cut Rite...sorry couldn't resist. He later catches up with Stretch at the station and requests that she play the tape from the other night. Stretch agrees to Lefty's request and plays the tape. Coming from a radio background, I can assume this station has no program manager. However I imagine theres nothing like an hour long phone call of people getting hacked up to raise the station's numbers.
Sawyer, while driving home from the chili cook off, hears this and calls his compadres up. After giving them his signature "look what you've done you no good, dogarn, idiots, you're going to be the death of me" speech, Stretch finds herself with a visitor at the station. Well long story short, this guy is respectively known as Chop Top and is played in a fun sadistic way by Bill Moseley. I never really thought too much about it but I've always assumed he is supposed to be the new incarnation of The Hitchhiker from TCM. Getting run over by an 18 wheeler apparently only damages your head if thats the case.
Chop Top is about to leave through the station's archive but we find out Leatherface is in there. He takes after Stretch but accidently nails Chop Top in the head with the chainsaw. Stretch does the typical scream and hide in a locked room routine. Meanwhile, LG comes into the station and gets assaulted by Chop Top. Eventually Leatherface gets through the door to the room where Stretch is hiding. It is then Stretch seduces Leatherface in a rather odd way. Young love is so beautiful though isn't it?
Leatherface lies to Chop Top about taking out Stretch and the two head off with LG's body. Stretch follows them to their home which is a mixture of amusement park meets junkyard. Right behind her is Lefty who takes her by surprise. She falls into a pit and down towards a room with a bunch of corpses. Lefty gets geared up a la Bruce Campbell style with his chainsaws and heads in.
Stretch hides as Leatherface and Chop Top skin a body in the room. That body happens to be LG who believe it or not is still alive but not for long. Leatherface spots Stretch and protects her again from the other two. Stretch heads out of the room and towards her escape. Meanwhile, Lefty is out destroying the support beams which grabs the attention of the three lunatics. During his romp, Lefty discovers Franklin's body from TCM still in the wheelchair.
Eventually Leatherface catches up with Stretch and chases her. She begs him not to kill her and the confused Leatherface is confronted by Sawyer and Chop Top. Sawyer knocks out Stretch who wakes up to find herself at dinner. Of corse, dinner with the Sawyers is always such a grand event. Grandpa arrives once again and is offered the chance to kill Stretch. Once again the 100 plus year old Grandpa can't hold a hammer. All of this is broken up when Lefty arrives for the final showdown. He takes on Sawyer and Leatherface while Chop Top chases after Stretch. Lefty severely damages both Sawyer and Leatherface. Sawyer pulls the pin on a grenade and the place blows up.
Stretch runs and battles Chop Top all the way to the surface until they reach a shrine with Grandma's corpse on it. Stretch takes the chainsaw on the shrine and uses it on Chop Top. Chop Top falls off the shrine back into the collapsing cellar. We are left with Stretch wildly waving the chainsaw around very much like Leatherface did back in TCM.
Adding gore to this really kind of took away from the magic the first film had. Theater of the mind to me was always worse than seeing the real thing. Still it was fun to see the old Sawyer family back together again. After all, "THE SAW IS FAMILY" as Sawyer would say.
1.) Bridge Over Troubled Water - The boys from the beginning get bumped off on a bridge when the driver gets the top of his head sliced off by Leatherface. The car crashes, kills the passenger, and both become part of the family's chili recipe. You know, stuff that happens during the average Boston commute at 5:00 pm on Fridays.
2.) I Love Leather...Face - While Chop Top bangs LG over the head with a hammer, Stretch seduces Leatherface. She convinces him to not kill her by letting him rub his chainsaw on her lower half. After this, he goes ape sh*t running around wrecking the radio station. Theres nothing quite like discovering third base with a power tool I say.
3.) Cellar Fun - At the end of the movie Stretch has LG's face put on her, Lefty discovers a wall of guts, Leatherface gets impaled by Lefty, and Sawyer gets a chainsaw up his ass which cures his "hems". Its obvious that reality television needs to stop concentrating on has-been celebrities and get a damn camera on the Sawyer family.
1.) Leatherface - He is still the stylin' deformed man who wears a mask of human flesh and chases youngsters with chainsaws. In this film he learns that when you want a little action from the ladies, theres nothing chicks dig more than a man with an 18 inch saw blade.
2.) Drayton Sawyer - I love this guy...he reminds me of Yosemite Sam in human form.
3.) Chop Top - He wears a bad wig to cover his steel plate, lights the end of a wire hanger, prods his scalp with it and proceeds to put the hangar in his mouth. Oddly you can usually spot at least 20 guys that look like this at any comic book/sci-fi convention.
