RELEASE DATE: 1972
RATED: PG
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
Without wasting time we are immediately introduced to the film's lead character. You'd figure that with the film's title being "Stanley" this would be him. Nope, this fellow's name is Tim. Stanley we will meet in a few paragraphs. Tim is a Seminole Indian who is in the middle of catching a snake. After successfully bleeding himself from the snake's bites, he bags it and heads home in his boat.
Immediately this cues the credits and opening music which has a rather lousy America (the band) sounding vibe to it. All the while Tim looks around and notes several animals appearing through stock footage. Tim finally arrives home and gives the snake an "I'm your buddy, I'll take care of you" speech. Such a good buddy that he throws him in a 3 x 2 tank in which he can spend the rest of his life. Yeah, because thats so much better than roaming free in the open forest.
After this we meet the film's title character Stanley who happens to be a rattlesnake. Thats right, you know the acting is going to suck to high hell if the title character is named after an animal. Isn't that a rule somewhere? Lassie, Rin Tin Tin...do you remember who else was in that film aside the dog? I should do a study into that.
Anyhow, Stanley is hanging out on the floor along with his pregnant girlfriend. Tim lets all the other snakes out of their cage and relaxes for a bit with his bestest snake buddy. This is interrupted by an arrival outside of some other Seminoles outside. Stanley does what I guess is supposed to be a spooky step through the snake's playing ground to get outside.
The Seminoles greet Stanley and ask him if he'd like to come back to the reservation. They make mention through the miracle of a 3 minute back-story about Stanley losing his dad and being a Vietnam vet. Oh Christ, here we go with the disturbed anti-hero bit already. Stanley sends the Seminoles on their way assuring them he doesn't need human interaction.
Anyhow, the next visitor isn�t quite as nice. This would be animal skin barren Thompkins with his henchman Crail. He urges Tim to come work for him much like his father did at one time. Tim expresses his disdain for Thompkins and the business he promotes. Meanwhile Crail brings forth the obligatory bigot role calling Tim �engine�. The two leave and Tim is left alone with his snakes again.
Turns out, Tim collects snakes for a Dr. Everett at the local medical center who milks them for their venom. Tim drives out to visit the good doctor with Stanley. He tells Stanley to stay put but of course that doesn�t sit�um�slither well with Stanley. He sneaks out of Tim�s truck and goes into the waiting room. The screams alert Tim and Dr. Everett to Stanley�s presence.
A guy in a safari outfit is about to shoot Stanley but Tim stops him. Apparently dressing like an 18th century Englishman big game hunter is pretty much standard wear for hospital security in the greater Miami area. Anyhow, Tim gives Stanley a �shame on you� type of speech. With a long day almost past, the two decide a visit to the local strip club is in order.
Tim heads there to see Gloria who apparently is the big act of the show. However from the looks of Gloria, The Climax (yes that�s the name of the joint) is presumably a retirement home for rather haggy looking strippers. She plays a Cleopatra-like personality parading around with a snake. Tim watches over her with a watchful eye for a bit and leaves.
Well Stanley hears this and saves the day by biting Bob right in the ass. Hmmmm, makes me question the snake�s sexuality a bit. This scene is played on in a completely ridiculous manner that repeats itself later in the film. Here is the run down;
1.) Shot of someone saying something like �AHHHHHH� or �WATCH OUT�
2.) Quick shot of what seems to be a taxidermy piece of a rattlesnake.
3.) Someone grasping where Stanley �bit� them.
All in all it looked completely tacky and idiotic. But the laugh factor was all over it so in a sense I�m glad they did it that way. Moving on, Tim tells them to get off the land and threatens to kill them if they come back.
Well seeing the only other potential love interest for anyone in the film is a ghastly looking stripper, the film introduces the polished Susie. She is the daughter of Thompkins and apparently has a thing going on with Crail. Why, simian men do it for that�s why. Anyhow Crail and Bob visit Thompkins at pool side to give him the bad news about Tim. They talk it over for a bit and decide to get a guy named Psycho (nothing to do with OJ) Simpson.
The guys go out into the swamp to do some trapping and look for Tim. Crail and Bob shoot up a few snakes which attracts the attention of Tim. Tim runs out to accost the boys and with the help of Stanley lures Crail and Bob to quicksand. After the two disappear, a somewhat non-epic battle happens between Simpson and Tim. Stanley once again attacks through his taxidermy counterpart and Simpson dies.
A few scenes later, Tim goes to visit the ever unattractive Gloria at the strip club. Apparently she has a new big act which has attracted men and women of all kind. I guess there really is nothing else better to do in a dive town. Anyhow, Tim observes her bite the head off a snake and this disturbs him. He takes out the club promoter (who I really didn�t need to see in boxers by the way) and Gloria by the night�s end.
Susie, who I guess must have really detested her father, immediately starts to fall for Tim. She notes a small grave site which contains the bodies of Stanley�s girlfriend and kids. I guess I must have forgot to mention that Simpson killed them before being off�d. Shows you how much this film grasped my attention.
Anyhow, Tim shows her the love of Stanley and the two rest for a bit.
Eventually Susie expresses desire to leave the swampland and this infuriates Tim. He lets out all the snakes and commands that they kill Susie. When they ignore him, he goes to his buddy Stanley. When Stanley ignores him, Tim almost kills him but he comes to his senses. After the two meet eyes, Stanley bites Tim causing him to fall over which knocks a kerosene lamp to the ground. What is it with those kerosene lamps and being around in the right place for a film climax? Anyhow, Suise gets out but Tim perishes with his snakes inside the burning house.
Stanley is pretty much Willard minus the rats which are replaced with snakes. The acting is completely wooden and the special effects are not so special. Its one of those films that one can hope to stumble upon in a DVD buck bin. The pure silliness of the script makes it perfect fodder for the viewer.
Basically its almost like getting a snake bite and realizing it was only a stuffed rattlesnake that bit you. How bittersweet indeed.
Nothing much to report here although Stanley does likes biting people's behinds...
