TITLE: Skullduggery

RELEASE DATE
:  1983

RATED: R

REVIEWED BY
:  The DarkSider
THE PLOT: Ah yes, the world of role playing is one that I have watched with profound interest but never really took park in.  Its interesting to me how people can devote so much time into playing a creature out of Tolkien�s world.  Matter of fact I recall a fellow I used to work with being heavily wrapped up in role playing to the point of lunacy.  Standard Friday night work conversations were interesting to say the least.

�Hey, me and the other guys are going out after work to the bar.  We�ll buy you a few drinks what do you say?�

�Oh no, my friends online would be very disappointed if I didn�t show up in the village tonight.�

Yeah, getting laid was always on the back burner for this guy apparently. I would say the same goes for the folks in this movie as well.    

Our land of fairytales begins with arguably the worst theme song in movie history.  Perhaps The Green Slime score gets the nod over it but its damn close.  A bunch of shrilly singers ask us whats on their mind, the answer is �Skull-dugg-ery�.  If singing is ever whats on their mind, I�d rather they�d never speak their mind. 

After all the ear drum assaulting nonsense, we join Canterbury England in the days of kings and queens and guillotines.  It actually came off more of less as a dive medieval fair with less acting talent. A pair of sorcerers prepare two apples, one poison and one regular.  Please f*cking tell me they didn�t rip off Snow White so early in the film.

Anyhow, they easily take out the guards, approach the king and insist that he takes one of the apples.  The king, who  apparently should have had a want ad out for more guards at the time, agrees and dies.  The sorcerer rags on about how the king owed him power and curses the queen�s future children/grandchildren. 

Not a bad start.  This is where things get completely oddball in the movie.  I have to admit now that artsy-fartsy films seem to lose me.  This film takes a pretty cool concept and destroys it with the asinine imagery in the film.  What imagery am I referring to, well lets explore now because I doubt I�ll have the energy to cover them later;

1.) A rather odd looking jester doll seems to pop up throughout the movie.  Apparently some god to the sorcerers in the beginning. 

2.) A fellow who walks around with a tic tac toe board on his back.  Too bad it wasn�t a dart board. 

3.) A fellow who is putting a third grade level puzzle of Adam and Eve in the Garden at a disturbingly slow pace. 

Just know this stuff is laced throughout the movie and comes off more retarded than interesting.  At this point in the film, we get introduced to our main players Adam and Barbara.  Barbara is actually Wendy Crewson who some may recognize from roles in the show 24 and the movies The Santa Clause/Bicentennial Man.  Another fine example of a �who would have known� acting role. 

Anyhow Barbara and Adam chat away about the �game� they are about to take part in.  Barbara claims theres odd stuff happening in her own life that mirrors the game.   For example, Barbara claims where she works at the hospital she swear she saw a scalpel turn into a dagger.  Its always good to see mentally stable people working in health care.  

Adam is an employee of Barbara�s father who owns a costume shop.  It is there Adam and his friends gather to play the role playing board game.  Adam gets designated as a warlock and rolls the dice to achieve a rather high score on all levels.  The game master, who was sadly old enough to be my father, gets the game rolling.

Meanwhile the next day, Adam and Barbara go to work at a local college as costume dressers.  The...um...talent show consists of several annoying acts including one from a magician who looks like the German singer Taco. 

Adam starts to slip into looney mode when the director tells him to dress up as a knight and take the place of another actor as an extra.  Adam starts stalking one the girls backstage and almost kills her a few times.  However, the highlight of the evening is a girl dying on stage.  This is after Adam puts some kind of  ooga booga looga curse on her.

Adam and Barbara chat it up the next day and Adam feels he is living in a prior life of some sort.  Apparently he is the distant relative of the woman cursed in the beginning of the film.  Barbara decides he needs professional help in the form of a psychic.  You know, because people like Ms. Cleo and Diane Warwick can save the desolate.  Adam gets freaked out by the psychic when she whips out the tarot card of death and stabs her.

The game group meet up again and this time a new scenario is brought forth.  Apparently there is a woman in all white who is gaining magic power.  Adam, who figures the evil woman is a nurse, goes to the local hospital to scope out the situation.  We get treated to a nurse having a little in-out action with a doctor in a monkey suit.  Why, well monkey suits are the new scrubs apparently.
Adam takes out the loose nurse but finds himself an even looser one who invites him home.  He offs her as well after a way too long chase through a cemetery.

So, the game group meet up once again and Adam presents the gamemaster with a piece of the "evil woman's" dress. The group is aghast by the oddity of the presentation.  I suppose if a group of role players find something odd than it really is f*cking odd.

The movie goes on, Adam kills a customer for no apparent reason and before you know it the gamemaster sets up the ultimate challenge for Adam.  Apparently in the game a evil group of folks are laying claim to the castle thus setting up a kill or be killed angle.  Adam, who got an invite to a dress up party from the customer he killed, goes on his mission of...um...bravery.

He arrives, tells the door person the password (Skullduggery) and is greeted by the party master.  People at the party white person boogie to the Skullduggery theme song.  Yes, the song that is the worst of all the theme songs in movie history.  Most the people dancing seemed to be a bit out of synch with the music.  Thats probably because 1.) even for the most talented of dancers, there is no way to synch with the Skullduggery theme song or 2.) they probably dubbed it over The Sugarhill Gang or some sh*t.

Anyhow, Adam quickly goes on a rampage killing off everyone in sight.  Why, well they're the evil folks invading the castle in his supreme mind.  After a bunch of this, Adam escapes the party only to be reported by the party master.

The police arrive at the costume shop to take Adam in.  For whatever reason, the movie begs us to suspend disbelief that a costume salesman can easily take out several armed cops.  Eventually Adam comes out in a knight's outfit only to be capped.  However, when the cops go to investigate the costume they find the mysterious Jester's puppet inside.

All of a sudden, the movie switches back to the game where everyone (much like the audience watching the movie) scratches their head.  You see, from my gestimation Adam was never real rather only a figment of the game player's imagination.  The past hour and a half of nonsense was in fact their idea of a fun concept.

Allow me to say I would have been a bit more satisfied with that ending than the one they give us.  It turns out the game players went as far to set up a knight's outfit for Adam's character.  This somehow comes alive and stabs the gamemaster.  The gamemaster turns into the sorcerer from the beginning and dies.  Hmmmm...once again back to the odd bullsh*t. 

Skullduggery is a fine film to watch if you're in to oddities.  It was made during a time when dungeons and dragons was gaining popularity with 30 year-old guys who lived in their mother's basements.  As a commentary on that culture, it effectively makes a statement.  And now role playing is bigger than ever.  Amazingly enough I recently found out that role playing has grown in to several differnt ideas such as...um...The Gilmore Girls.  Yep...its true, people are role playing characters from chick shows. 

However, much of this gets lost in the absolutely horrid attempts at humor and the out of whack imagery.  Essentially what could be a terrifying film gets turned in a comedy with what seems to be a load of really bad in-jokes.

Indeed Sir DarkSider neither condemns nor praises this movie for thou...oh f*cking forget it.
IT�S THE INNARDS THAT COUNT (most gruesome/odd moments)
1.)
When Geeks Attack - Adam wastes his victims in mostly un-violent scenes...
YOU'RE A GRAND OLD A-HOLE (the A-Holes of the film get their moment)
1.)
Adam - A nerdy fellow much like other role playing folks of the 80s.  Then again, I wouldn�t call them nerds nowadays seeing they make up 90% of the CEOs in the computer gaming world.
OVERALL GRADE
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