RELEASE DATE: 1988
RATED: R
REVIEWED BY: The Darksider
Leon really never had a chance. His mother was an obsessive-compulsive cleaner and his father was pretty much emotionally unattached from everything but his work as a doctor. Leon's true company came in the form of his younger sister Ursula...and then theres Leon's old buddy Pin. Pin is actually a lifesized anatomy doll who is oddly
brought to life by Leon's father. Apparently ventriloquism is part of getting your medical licence. None the less, in one of the oddest moments captured on flim, Leon hangs out in his father's examination room after hours to "talk" to Pin. His father's nurse comes in and puts the moves on Pin. Leon hides away while he watches Pin get a little action. Now hold on here...lets examine this:
1.) I have always been under the impression that basically anyone can get laid at any time. She's a nurse, a lot of guys dig that. Granted she's not that good looking of a nurse but still, theres gotta be a bar somewhere with a guy wearing beer goggles.
2.) Are anatomy dolls that well endowed? Granted Pin is life sized, but thinking back to other anatomy dolls I've seen, I cant remember much of a wedding tackle. Not that I was looking or anything. Still she pulls him up and down to simulate the horizontal tango. Even if he does have a unit, is he really standing at attention?
3.) Ok so what if she can't laid, aren't there dildos in that town? Either that or the stuff they pass off as "personal massagers". Anything aside from a lifesize anatomy that looks like a leper victim.
Ok moving on...Leon and Ursula have their birds and bees speech given to them by Pin. During it, Ursula realizes Pin is nothing more than her father doing his voice throwing thing. However Leon never gets it and grows up from a tense young boy to an anal young adult. Ursula however grows up to be a full time high school garden tool. (That would be a HO for those of you who dont get it) Leon is disgusted by his sister's actions but this gets much worse when she gets pregnant. He convinces his sister to go to Pin for "advice". Turns out Leon is gifted like his father in vetriloquism and gives life to Pin. However its much more screwed up this time because Leon still thinks Pin is real although hes giving him life. In another great just go with it moment, Leon and Ursula's father does an abortion on Ursula. I figured it must be his side job or something. Life moves on and before you know it Leon is ready for college. However, this is interupted when his father cathces him hanging out with Pin. He plans on getting rid of Pin but dies in a car accident with his wife.
So Leon and Ursula are left alone sitting on a pretty nice estate. Leon invites Pin to live with them and spiffs up the anatomy doll's looks a little bit. Their aunt comes to live with them briefly but dies of a heart attack thanks to Pin and Leon. Ursula grows up and takes on the responsibility of a part-time library job. She finds a love interest but is fully aware of Leon's deeper fall into his dimentia. His life revolves around staying home with Pin who controls much of what Leon does.
All hell breaks loose when she invites her love interest to dinner. Leon "introduces" Pin to his sister's new beau who quickly realizes that Leon isn't all there. Leon overhears him talking to Ursula about Pin and the next day invites him over while Ursula's at work. Leon clubs him over the head and hides the body. Ursula finds out about her brothers deed and takes an axe to Pin. Turns out Ursula's love interest wasn't dead and they live happily ever after. However for our friend Leon, he's left a vegetable at the end of the film. The thing I like about this movie is they show how Leon's disturbing past leads to an unfortunate end. He is talented in certain areas (writing, cooking) but his unstable mental state prevents him from doing anything constructive with his life.
I really have to admit theres nothing much here...well maybe the nurse and Pin scene.
1.) Pin - Ok so he isn't real and hes just an anatomy doll. Sure hes a nice guy who adores the simple things in life like chocolates and friendly company. I can see right through him though...get it...see right through him... nevermind...
2.) Leon - I can't help but think that maybe he'd have more of a shot if the doll in his life had been inflatable.
3.) Doctor And Mrs. Linden - Leon and Ursula's parents who were such a-holes they didn't bother giving them a first name. What and honor indeed.
