RELEASE DATE: 1997
RATED: PG-13
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider - 9/12/04
Getting on to the movie at hand, this is obviously based on the epic tale written by Homer long ago. It starts off with the valiant Odysseus in his home land. His wife Penelope had just given birth to a son named Telemachus. Shortly thereafter, Agememnon and his brother Menelaus drop in to inform him of the impending Trojan War. Bound by oaths, Odysseus heads off to war leaving his family behind. Before he leaves he tells Penelope that when Telemachus wears a beard and he hadn't return to take on a new husband.
The war rages on for years until the Greek army makes the wooden horse, get rolled in, and sack the city. With Troy plundered, Odysseus boasts to the sea which pisses off the god of the sea Poseidon. The angry god swears that he will never again see his homeland.
The journey home makes up the brunt of the movie. On the way back he faces many adventures and challenges. He is trapped on an Island by the witch Circe, attacked by sea monsters, heads into the land of the dead Hades, and eventually looses his entire crew. After being held up on goddess Calypso's island for quite some time, he heads home once again. Eventually he ends up back in his homeland.
However, theres a bit of a problem...20 years had passed since his departure and a line of suitors has invaded his palace for some Penelope puntang. They hog his belongings and livestock while being total pricks to everyone in the house. Telemachus had grown up and became a man. Despite his pleas to his town folk to rid his home of the suitors, they remained. Penelope did whatever she could to prolong the waiting time before she had to pick one of the suitors. But the time had come to choose a new husband.
Telemachus heads out to talk to Menelaus about his father's fate. He returns to find his father alive and well in the homeland. Goddess Athena turns Odysseus into an old begger to weed out the good from the bad suitors. After a brief review of the suspects, a plan is set into motion. They lock the suitors marked for death in a room with Odysseus and Telemachus. Odysseus shows his true face and slaughters all the suitors. This gives way to a reunion with Penelope.
The movie is a great representation of Homer's tale. It touches upon great themes along with providing excitment. Plus they sport an all-star cast with appearances by Christopher Lee, Vanessa Williams, and Bernadette Peters to name a few.
1.) Cyclops Crunch-One of the cyclops has some late night take out. A member of the crew's head. He picks his teeth afterward too...
2.) Scylla's Feast-Sea monster Scylla has a morsel or two in the form of the crew.
3.) The Suitor Demise-Odysseus and Telemachus makes some new decorations by spearing a few suitors into the wall.
4.) Ram Sacrafice-Ok so its not gruesome...I kind of felt bad for the little feller though. If it was anybody but Christopher Lee he was being sacraficed to I would feel worse.
1.) Poseidon-The pissed off god of the sea...then again if I had fat and hairy guys swimming and urinating in me I'd be a little pissed off too...
2.) The Suitors-Imagine a whole bunch of guys with Billy Ray Cyrus haircuts acting like drunken jag-offs and there you have it...
3.) Circe and Calypso-Two goddess chicks who trap Odysseus on their islands and rub him down with oils, give him baths, and whatever else he wants...some would argue against the whole "a-hole" title...
4.) The Cyclops-The one eyed son of Poseidon who gets his eye gorged out...he raises cattle and lives alone...rumors about beastiality are not proven true as of yet...
