RELEASE DATE: 1989
RATED: Unrated In The States
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider
The movie gets off to a running start literally with Police Commissioner Dixon running from his wife in the woods. His arm has been severed and eventually he takes his wife down with a shotgun. Note to film makers; if you want to grab my attention, a head blown off or a severed limb in the first five minutes is a mighty fine way to do so.
After the credits roll over the charming "Suburbia" song, we find local bed hopper "Rowdy" Roddy Douglas getting a booty call from...well...Booty. He puts on his Hands Across America shirt and runs home because he knows his wife Sylvia will be home soon.
Meanwhile across town, Police Officer McDormick visits his ex-wife Lois to see his son Billy who isn't home. He heads over to see the eccentric Dr. Lee Grouly who is the town's coroner. The other two before him died in mysterious ways. The two talk about Dixon's fateful hunting trip with his wife. All the while, bad cop Hitchcock is watching on surveillance camera.
Shortly after this, we get introduced to the kids. Part of the group; rather not pleasant to look at Joyce, her boyfriend who must be getting paid to date her Frankie, Roddy and Sylvia's daughter Linda, full time bad ass Rinaldi, mammas boys who beat the sh*t out of each other constantly Johnny and Timmy, and full time punching bag for his father Jeff. Ok now that we all know each other, lets start the odd bullsh*t.
McDormick visits Lois one day to find her eating Billy's arm with baseball glove attached. He shoot her in the head and is arrested under the order of Dixon. He later escapes and runs to see Grouly. Grouly tells McDormick that he believes his story about Lois because he found bits of Billy in her teeth. He also examines Lois's blood and finds something odd. Dixon comes over to try to find McDormick but Grouly hides him.
Meanwhile at the VD clinic, Roddy pops in to get his well used loins examined. Everything checks out fine but Nurse Felicia at the clinic spots something odd in his blood. All through out town, women that Roddy slept with start getting rather hungry. Matter of fact, Linda walks in on her mother eating her baby brother. She storms out and catches her father kissing another woman in a bar. She meets up with Jeff who is contemplating running away. She confides in Jeff and tells him about her mother eating her brother and her father's naughty behavior. In some minor news, 5' 2" Grouly meets up with 6' Felicia and agree to meet in his lab to examine the odd VD.
Later that night, Jeff starts the running away process but walks in on a bad special effect prop of his mother eating his father. Across town, grounded Rinaldi is invited downstairs by his mother. In a funny ass bit, she tells him how veal is made using baby cows. Long story short, she is basically trying to make him into a nice tender piece of veal. Rinaldi has none of this and storms out of the house. Luckily for him, he meets up with Linda and Jeff who agree that something is wrong in town. They later meet up with Timmy who left his house after his mother eats his brother.
At some convention in town, Joyce walks in with Frankie to find her mother and Sylvia eating everyone. They get chased around for a bit until they meet up with the other kids. All but Frankie get out safe and they in turn meet up with McDormick. Turns out McDormick did a little research and found out Dixon had the VD originally. He tells them to go to Grouly and inform him of this news. Unfortunately for McDormick, he gets shot by Hitchcock right after telling the kids.
The kids make it to Grouly who is researching the VD with Felice. Turns out the VD is the reason for the mothers turning into flesh eating zombies. They inform him of the Dixon news and right after this he storms out to confront Dixon. He threatens to go to the paper with this information and Dixon makes a call to Hitchcock. Before Hitchcock can eliminate Grouly, he gets knocked off by the cannibal mothers. Well anyhow, Felice and Grouly find a cure to the VD which they pack in syringes.
The kids go out to hunt down their mothers and inject them with the cure. The mothers (who kind of looked like the Joker from Batman at this point) eventually corner Dixon who Grouly makes confess his evil deeds. Dixon is taken away by the police and the loving flesh eating mothers turn back to normal. Well by the ending maybe they aren't back to normal.
This film aims low...very very very low. Its the best way to experience a film I've always said. Kids get eaten by their mothers who talk about designing tips while doing it. Now that is f*cking funny.
1.) Just Like Mom Used To Make - The VD in this movie causes mothers to kill, rip apart, and eat everything in their path. Before this flick, we usually blamed extreme food cravings like this on pregnancy.
2.) Hey Thats Not Nice - Being a huge fan of cats, I didn't feel it was necessary for the mothers to rip apart a stray feline and eat it. Their toddlers...fine...but cats are where I draw the line.
1.) Roddy and Dixon - If you ever needed a reason to keep it in your pants, the threat of having it eaten off should get you in to the chastity belt real quick.
2.) VD - In the microscope, these guys appear kind of cartoonish. I wonder if Looney Tunes ever toyed with the idea of a character named Herman the Herpes or Sam the Syphilis.
3.) Flesh Eating Mothers - A cross stitch pattern idea from yours truly:
M is for the many ways she loves you...especially with a little salt added...
O is for the only one you'll ever have...rip your spine out to pick her teeth with...
T is for the time she spends with you...pickling body parts is a rather lengthy process
H is for your heart which she loves you with...she'll eat yours in return...
E is for your ears which you use to listen to her wisdom...and her flatulence from eating your sibling...
R is for the way she raises you...to become a year's supply of sandwich meat...
