RELEASE DATE: 1982
RATED: Unrated
REVIEWED BY: The DarkSider 6/16/05
Dr. Julius Lifflander starts the movie off when he leaves his house. He seems to be in a state of panic and notices something in the bushes. He runs back to the house to make an emergency phone call only to have the line go dead. Something outside is circling the house ripping out the power and phone lines. Finally Lifflander gets knocked off by something with a mutated hand. The doctor's blood sprays all over a file on his desk.
Cut to the big city where a young, REO Speedwagon roadie haircut sporting man is walking down the street with a wicker basket. He finds an out of the way hotel with a loud mouth guy running it. He gets a room for the week and pays from a huge wad of cash he whips out. Great move to do in the big city. That and if you have that kind of cash why not stay at a Hilton or something. Oh well...onwards...
Turns out the young man has the chart with Lifflander's blood on it. His name is Duane Bradley and oddly talks to the basket which offers no reply. However, something is in the basket...something that apparently likes burgers when Bradley throws them in. Bradley meets local happening chick Casey in the hall who has the voice of Dionne Warwick and the body of...well lets not be mean...it was post 70s and the big hot mamma thing was still in.
So not wasting any time Bradley and his basket go off to find local doctor Harold Needleman. Cute name for a doctor...Needleman...thats like having a proctologist named Dr. Brownfingers. He gets flirted with by annoying secretary Sharon and immediately gets to see the doctor. When asked what is wrong, Bradley takes off his shirt to reveal a huge scar on the side of his chest. While leaving, Bradley sets up a date with Sharon but makes sure the basket doesn't hear it.
Needing some entertainment, Bradley takes the basket to see a Kung Fu film. During the flick, the basket is stolen and the thief gets the crap knocked out of him by the thing in the basket. Meanwhile across town, Dr. Needleman calls Dr. Judith Kutter (another cute name) about his recent visitor. Kutter tells Needleman to get lost so she can play with her lap dog date. Horny middle aged women sure are funny in movies aren't they?
Needleman decides to close up shop and after Sharon leaves, Bradley and the basket check in. While on the way out, he gets ambushed by the thing in the basket. This is when we finally get to see the monster. He can best be described as a mini Jabba The Hutt minus the tail. So after mutilating the doctor, our friendly monster in the basket returns to Bradley with his address book.
Needing a break from his basket buddy, Bradley goes out on a date with Sharon. To keep his friend occupied he purchases a crappy black and white television. Everything goes well on the date and romance develops between the two. However back in the hotel, basket boy gets frustrated with the tv. All he gets are scrambled up signals and he chucks the tv. I can relate, I got that frustrated trying to get the Spice Channel in when I was younger. Anyhow, the screaming fellow proceeds to rip apart the room and cause a ruckus. I have to laugh thinking of how they brought him to life. He was either a puppet or a really bad stop motion anima tronic. Still, for some odd reason he was creepy as f*ck.
After checking out the room and seeing no one was there, the hotel manager locks up the room. However, slimy character O'Donovan spots a wad of cash in the room. Later he tries to steal it only to get a serious beat down from the monster. Across town, Bradley starts to freak out on his date and runs back to the hotel. He tells Sharon to get lost because he is afraid that his basket companion will kill her out of jealousy. With O'Donovan obliterated, the police ask Bradley questions which he tries to dance around. After they leave he finds his roommate hiding in the toilet.
After cleaning the blue toilet water off his freak friend's ass (although that didn't happen it would have been a nice touch) Bradley heads out to get plastered. He meets up with Casey and the two drunkenly shmooze. When she asks him what is in the basket, he tells her his brother. Casey laughs it off but Bradley continues his story in a flashback.
Turns out, Bradley's mother died while giving birth and his father hated him for it. The reason for her death, Bradley had an undeveloped siamese twin attached to his side complete with arms and a face. As he got older, people began to prod why he wasn't in school. It was then his father decided to have an operation done to separate the two. After the operation which is done in the house, a psychic link was made between the two brothers. Bradley's sibling calls to him in the middle of the night and he finds him in a trash bag. Stupid rich people, mutated siamese twin trash pick up isn't til Tuesday. Well moving on, Bradley and his brother bump off their father and their kind aunt took over their care. Throughout the years, his brother developed immense strength and a psychic bond. The two are in the big city to kill off the doctors that separated them years ago.
Well, after a nice night of liquid dinners the two head back to the hotel. Casey leaves Bradley passed out on his bed and she heads back to her room for some rest. This rest is interrupted by Bradley's brother grabbing her Ta-Ta's. Yeah its not exactly the same as waking up to a nice cup of coffee.
The next day Dr. Kutter gets a visit from the two brothers and is killed off. Sharon returns to the hotel in hysterics because the cops found Needleman dead. The two almost get it on until old basket case jumps out and starts yelling again. Bradley tells Sharon to shoo again and gives his brother a tongue lashing. During the night, basket case gets out and now we find out he has glow in the dark eyes. While sleeping that evening, Bradley has a dream that he is running naked through the streets of New York. Let me stop here...
NOTE TO ANYONE INVOLVED WITH MAKING MOVIES
The past 3 out of 4 reviews I have done had male nudity in them. Male nudity is not sexy and most people end up finding it funny. If I see one more wanker or hairy naked ass I am going to get my mutated siamese brother after you...thank you for your time.
Back to the review...the visions he has in his dreams are symbolic of his brother running...er...dragging his way to Sharon's place. Bradley wakes up and dashes to Sharon's place to find his brother on top of her dead body. Well it looked to me like she was breathing but being on a low budget won't buy you good actors even if they are playing a corpse. Devastated by losing his first possible piece of ass, Bradley lays into his brother when they get to the hotel. The two get into a scuffle of epic brotherly love proportions. Finally the two fall out the window and after being choked out by his brother, Bradley and his brother fall to their death in the streets of New York...well until the sequels that is.
Perhaps the best thing this movie was good at was suspension. The thing in the basket grabs your attention immediately and when it finally does make it's first appearance you are still shocked. The plot develops in a good way leaving very few questions til the end. It is said that several of the extras in the movie such as junkies and hookers were real. Who the hell needs Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts when you can pay off your crew with McDonald's hamburgers and milk shakes. The movie spawned two sequels and Bradley can be seen with his companion in one of director Frank Henenlotter's other movies Brain Damage.
1.) Needleman's Better Half - Dr. Needleman goes head over heels literally when basket case rips him in two.
2.) Duane's Better Half - The two brothers get separated in an impromptu surgery done in what appears to be the dining room in the Bradley's home. Mutated Siamese Twin...its whats for dinner.
3.) Wagon O' Fun - The twin's father gets killed off when they send a wagon filled with sharp objects down a ramp into him. Ah the fun days of 4th grade science projects...that sure brings back memories.
4.) Monster Molestations - It was rather disturbing to watch the little prune get touchy feely with the ladies. However for old basket boy, it doesn't take having a penis to think like a man.
5.) Pin Up - Dr. Kutter's demise comes when she gets a face full of scalpels. Since she is a vet, it is almost therapeutic for anyone who has ever paid over $50.00 for their pet's rabies vaccination to see this.
1.) Hotel Manager and His Lobby Friends - Apparently running a business in the Big Apple takes little communication skills. Frankly, I think one may enjoy the customer service at the Overlook Hotel in Colorado more than this place.
2.) Basket Case - Although this film focuses in on the negatives of having a mutated Siamese twin brother, I would like to take time out to give you the top five reasons why it is a good thing:
1.) You will never have to hear arguments about who is the better looking one.
2.) Flying anywhere will be an inexpensive breeze since you can consider him a carry-on item.
3.) If he folds his arms in, you can use him as a soccer ball, basket ball, beach ball, the list goes on and on.
4.) Five words...Ripley's Believe It Or Not...they'll be kissing your ass for life.
5.) You can use him to write bad movie reviews and take all the credit...not that I would do that or anything.
