Long after Joey had fallen asleep Pacey was still wide awake. He couldn’t sleep, or strictly speaking he did not want to sleep... not yet.

He was full of all kinds of emotions and feelings stirred up by Joey. He had never felt like this before and he was sure that the stage of pure attraction was long passed.

Right now he indulged in the sensation of having Joey in his arms and watching her sleep. It amazed him that she trusted him so much to fall asleep in his embrace.

He had never slept with another person in the same bed. Not even as a toddler did he crawl into his parents bed. They probably wouldn’t have let him anyway.

In his opinion lying next to someone while being more or less unconscious was tantamount to be at that person’s mercy.

Much to his own surprise he didn’t feel uneasy at the thought of sleeping next to Joey. Her deep, even breaths and the faint noise of her heartbeat were calming, soothing and exiting all at once.

He felt like he found something that had been missing, it felt like home, it felt like he had found his home.

He felt safe and protected and he was able to let go, to open himself to her completely.

This was exactly what he wanted to provide for Joey. He wanted her to feel the same he did, he wanted to protect her from whatever might try to harm her.

"God, what are you doing to me?", Pacey softly kissed her forehead which caused Joey to nestle even closer up to him.

For years he had wondered what it would be like to lie in the same bed with her. Even before he had acknowledged his true feelings toward Joey he had envied Dawson because he got to share his bed with her nearly every Saturday. After what Joey had told him tonight there was nothing to be envious about anymore. Joey might have slept in Dawson’s bed, but Dawson had never got the real deal. Dawson had never held her in his arms like he was doing now.

"Sweet dreams Jo.", were the last words Pacey whispered before sleep finally overtook him, too.

~*~

Pacey woke up to the sounds of a wailing baby. He kept his eyes closed, trying to delay the moment he had to face reality again. He couldn’t remember when he had slept as good as last night. The odds were good he had never.

All night long they hadn’t left their embrace. Whenever one of them had moved the other followed immediately. In their current position Joey’s head used Pacey’s chest as a pillow, while her left hand rested on his stomach. Her left leg was held captive by Pacey’s right leg and Pacey’s right arm was draped over her waist.

Another baby cry caused Joey’s hand to slip further down which forced Pacey to gasp and open his eyes. He looked down but Joey was still fast asleep. Only her hand was dangerously close to his also awakening arousal. As he tried to shift and think of something else it happened, Joey’s palm touched him and made his cock stand at full attention.

Pacey groaned. As much as he hated it he had to get out of the bed before he would lose control. A long, nice and most importantly cold shower was what he needed. Careful not to wake Joey he slipped out of the bed, already missing the contact to her body.

As he returned from the bathroom Pacey spotted Bessie walking to the kitchen with Alex on her arm.

"Good morning, Bessie. "

"Good morning, Pacey. Well, I don’t know if it’s good...anyway. Slept well?", as she heard Pacey talking Bessie turned around, looking extremely tired and exhausted.

"Very well. Alex kept you up most of the night, didn’t he?", Pacey stepped closer and tickled the baby on Bessie’s arm.

"Hhmm.", Bessie shifted her weight to stand more comfortable. She could have fallen asleep right then and there, standing, sitting, lying whatever. She just wanted to sleep.

Pacey glanced at her. "What do you say, you go back to bed and I keep an eye on Alex while making breakfast?"

"You would do that?", Bessie contemplated Pacey’s suggestion. The idea was really enticing.

"Sure. You let me stay over so the least I can do is giving you a break. Besides Alex and I are already good friends and I happen to be the master of pancakes...", Pacey grinned. Alex was pulling at his fingers and attempted to suck at them.

"Okay. My baby boy definitely seems to like you.", Bessie handed Alexander over to Pacey and watched as he cradled the tiny body. He was really good with babies.

"Who doesn’t?", Pacey chuckled.

Bessie rolled her eyes in true Potter fashion. "Just don’t burn down my kitchen."

Pacey shot her an innocent ‘who – me?’ glance.

"Thank you, Pacey.", Bessie said ruffling Pacey’s hair before she returned to her bedroom.

~*~

Pacey worked in the kitchen trying to produce as little noise as possible so that neither Joey nor Bessie would awake before breakfast was ready. All the time he was talking to Alexander who lay in his car seat that Pacey had propped up on the kitchen counter.

"...see, it’s really simple to make pancakes, if you know the secret. You won’t tell them, huh?", Pacey tickled the baby’s belly as the phone started ringing.

"Potter/Wells residence.", Pacey picked up the phone wondering who would have the nerve to call at such an ungodly hour on a Saturday morning.

"Hi, this is Dawson..., uh... Pacey? Is that you?", Dawson’s voice became strained.

"Yep. So, what can I do for you, D.?"

"Ahhm. ...Uh... I... wanted to talk to Joey."

"What else?", Pacey thought. "Sorry, Dawson. Joey’s still sleeping."

"Sleeping?"

"Yes, sleeping. Are you listening to me?", Pacey shook his head.

"Yeah. Uh... I need to ask her something."

"I’m not waking her up, Dawson. I can give her a message if you want?", Pacey got impatient. If Dawson wanted to say something he should get it out already.

"I just wanted.... What are you doing there... at this time?"

"I’m making breakfast... not unusual at 8am...", Pacey didn’t miss the distaste in Dawson’s voice, "So, is there a point in your call, because I’m quite busy right now and Alex ...."

"You’re watching the baby, too? Where’s Bessie?"

"Sleeping. What do you want, Dawson?", Pacey closed his eyes. Dawson was really getting on his nerves by now.

I just wanted to know if she...if you are coming over for movie night tonight."

Pacey took a deep breath. Dawson’s slip did not go unnoticed by him.

"Yeah, we’re coming."

"Okay... see ya later."

"Uh-huh. Bye, Dawson.", Pacey hung up. "Somehow I wish we weren’t..."

~*~

Joey was still sleeping as Pacey knelt down by her side. She looked so peaceful, happy and content... just like an angel. His angel.

His hand lightly caressed her cheek while he kissed the top of her head.

"Hey, beautiful. Time to rise and shine...", Pacey whispered in her ear trying to lure her out of her dreamworld.

Joey stirred, moaning without opening her eyes.

"Come on sleepyhead, I prepared breakfast for you...", Pacey tried again.

Joey opened one eye. "Something does smell promising...", Joey stretched and yawned, like an awakening cat.

Pacey smiled. She was so cute. "Then come and get it.", Pacey pulled at the covers that were still wrapped around her body.

"Uhh... it’s cold!", Joey protested trying to get the warm blanket back.

"Not as cold as my shower...", Pacey mumbled.

"What was that?", Joey sat up shivering.

"Huh? Nothing...", realizing that Joey wasn’t about to get out of bed anytime soon and also trying to distract her from what he had just said Pacey picked her up and swung her over his shoulder.

"Pacey?! What are you doing?", Joey actually liked being manhandled by Pacey but nevertheless she had to protest again.

"Getting you in the kitchen, woman.", Pacey laughed.

"I can walk, you know? You don’t have to act so neanderthal-like..."

"I know, but where would that leave the fun for me?", Pacey sat Joey down on the counter.

"Hhmm. Maybe ... here?" Joey tugged at Pacey’s shirt forcing him to stand between her legs.

She had always thought she would feel awkward initiating something... anything with a guy, but with Pacey everything felt so natural.

Joey let her hands wander over Pacey’s chest up to his neck. Pacey softly rubbed his nose against hers losing himself in her dark eyes. His left hand found its way into her long hair while his right arm snaked around her waist pulling her closer to him. He placed small kisses along her neck and jaw line until he reached her mouth.

"Still cold?", Pacey’s voice was barely a whisper.

"No... quite the opposite.", Joey felt the heat building between them but still she wanted him closer. She crossed her feet behind Pacey’s legs pushing herself against him. Pressing her lips against his she let her tongue trace his lower lip until he complied, sucking her tongue into his mouth, silencing her moan.

"Hey, you two lovebirds, you’re about to blind my poor, innocent baby boy.", Bessie interrupted Joey’s and Pacey’s moment, biting her lip. The sight of these two undoubtedly in love being teenagers was extremely cute.

"Uhm, Bessie...up again?", Pacey was glad that the counter hid his lower body parts from Bessie’s view. The effect of his cold shower hadn’t last very long.

"You promised me fantastic pancakes...and I’m hungry.", Bessie sat down reaching for a plate and helped herself to one of the golden brown pancakes.

"You made breakfast for my sister? A few minutes ago you told me it was for me?", Joey pouted crossing her arms in front of her.

"Yes... I mean no...I...", Pacey was helpless. Being cornered by both Potter girls and confronted with their combined eye-rolling was really no fun.

The corners of Joey’s mouth started to twitch as she saw Pacey squirming.

"Just kidding, Pace.", Joey cupped Pacey’s face and gave him a quick kiss.

Pacey sighed. "That was not fair. Nobody can handle two Potters."

"Get used to it, Pacey.", Bessie grinned. Despite her growing responsibilities she still loved to tease like she had done at Joey’s age.

"So, Joey. Your boyfriend claims to be the master of pancakes. I think we have to taste one of his masterpieces...."

Joey and Bessie poured syrup over each of their pancakes and took a small bite with a serious face.

"Hhm, what do you think, Joey?", Bessie asked innocently.

"Hhm, not bad... actually..." Joey nodded, giving her sister a sign.

"Orgasmic!", both exclaimed at the same time.

"What?", Pacey didn’t trust his ears.

Bessie and Joey burst out in laughter. Joey had to wipe some tears from her eyes.

"The best compliment you could get from us... concerning food, of course.", Bessie explained still giggling. Pacey’s mind had obviously been somewhere else.

"Ask Bodie, when he’s back.", Joey offered a still speechless Pacey some of her pancake.

"Yeah, I am very good."

"Well, it’s enough to let you stay over again...", Bessie quipped.

Pacey laughed. This felt definitely like home.

~*~

"I totally forgot to tell you that Dawson has called this morning.", Pacey quietly said as he rowed Joey’s boat towards the Leery house.

"Yeah? What did he want?", Joey sat opposite to Pacey and didn’t seem to be very interested in Dawson’s call.

"Asking if we were coming tonight. I guess he was surprised I was answering your phone.", Pacey studied Joey’s face, searching for any sign that she regretted that he had stayed for the night or that Dawson knew about it, but there was none.

Joey shrugged. She really didn’t care if Dawson was surprised or not. She bent forward, stilling Pacey’s movement by covering his hands with her own.

"Would he be surprised tomorrow, too?"

Pacey swallowed. She wanted him to stay over again?

"Is this your weird way of asking me to spend this night in your bed again, Potter?", Pacey bent forward himself, touching his forehead with hers.

Joey smiled and nodded.

Pacey grinned from ear to ear. "I’d love to.", he brushed his lips against hers and continued to row.

"Do we really have to sit through at least two movies? We could return to your bed right now?", Pacey half jokingly suggested. He had a gut feeling that this evening wouldn’t end so good.

Joey just raised a brow and shook her head.

Pacey shrugged. "A guy has to try..."

~*~

"What are we watching tonight?", Jen asked sitting down on Dawson’s bed next to Joey who was seated between Pacey’s legs, leaning back into his chest.

Dawson put a tape into the VCR and retreated to his chair.

"I thought we’d try something new...", he glanced at Joey who played with Pacey’s hand. "... No Spielberg for a change. I picked ‘First Knight’."

Jen raised a brow. A movie concerning a love triangle and betrayal did not speak for a nice evening between friends, especially not with Dawson choosing it. He never did something without intention.

"Sounds good to me. I like those knight movies.", Pacey said resting his head on Joey’s shoulder.

"I’m sure you do.", Dawson stated and pressed the play button.

They watched for a while in silence before Dawson spoke again.

"So, did you spent the night with Pacey, Jo?"

Jen ducked her head. The party was about to begin.

"Huh?", Joey looked up while Pacey tightened his arms around her.

"Did you spent the night with Pacey, Jo?, Dawson repeated in a demanding tone.

"You already know that Pacey stayed the night because you talked to him this morning.", Joey stared at Dawson.

"The question is, Joey, where did he sleep or maybe you didn’t sleep at all last night because you were asleep as I called.", Dawson glared at the couple on his bed.

"Watch it, Dawson.", Pacey warned through gritted teeth.

"We slept in my bed, Dawson.", Joey’s voice remained calm betraying the anger she felt arising deep inside her.

"So you admit it! Well, wouldn’t that be your cue Pacey? As the shining knight in armor that you always like pretending to be, you really should defend your lady’s honor, shouldn’t you? ... Oh, wait... my fault. There’s no honor left now, is there?"

Pacey jumped up, his face red with anger. "You did not just say that!", his fist clenched at his sides.

Joey quickly stood up reaching for Pacey’s hand, calming him.

"Are you trying to indicate that Pacey and I had sex, just becausewe slept in the same bed Dawson? Because if you are, Dawson, I believe you and I must have been having sex since I’ve been seven years old as we have been sleeping in one bed since then.", Joey yelled.

"That’s different, Joey. We are not just interested in sex..."

"Dawson, you are going way to far here.", Jen tried to stop his accusations but Dawson was completely ignoring her.

"... Pacey would do anything for sex. Do I really have to remind you of Miss Jacobs or of what he was in detention for? Now that he got himself in your bed, do you really think he’ll still be interested in you in... let’s say... two weeks?"

At this point Pacey was more than ready to beat the shit out of Dawson. He couldn’t believe what his lifelong friend was saying.

Joey stepped between both boys never letting go of Pacey’s hand. She was about to give Dawson her very own piece of mind.

Jen watched helplessly the scene unfolding in front of her, rubbing her temples.

"Let’s face it, Jo. You’re just too inexperienced to keep him attracted for a longer time. What then, Pacey? Will you go after the next willing forty-something or rather after someone like Jen?", each word that left Dawson’s mouth was more venomous than the last.

Jen’s eyes were tearing in fury.

"Joey please, let me..", Pacey tried to get past her. He couldn’t stand Dawson’s hateful tirade against her any longer.

Joey squeezed his hand assuring him that she knew what she was doing.

"Now you listen to me, Dawson.", Joey’s voice was cold as ice,

"I don’t know what kind of trip you are on and frankly I don’t care. Even your obvious jealousy can’t justify what you have just said.

First of all: it is none of your goddamn business if Pacey and I are having sex or not. Second: You are certainly not qualified for talking about sexual experience or the lack thereof. Third: Nobody is allowed to judge Pacey’s and mine relationship in any way. Forth: Talking about detention, Dawson. Do you remember what I was in detention for? I’m more than happy to give you an encore..." Joey paused as confusion washed over Dawson’s face.

Joey stared Dawson in the eyes as she kicked him very hard in the most private parts of his body. Dawson crouched down in agony.

"Serves you right.", Jen muttered.

"Fifth: I don’t know you anymore.", Joey grabbed her jacket.

"I think we’re done here.", Pacey guided both girls out of the room.

Neither of the three bothered to cast another look at Dawson who was still lying on the floor.

~*~

As soon as they had left him alone, Dawson tried to get into a sitting position, leaning against his bed.

Seeing Joey and Pacey acting together in such an intimate way had clouded his mind and the words had just spilled out.

Dawson started to cry as realization about what he had done a few minutes ago hit him.

"What have I done? God, what have I done?"

~*~

Jen, Joey and Pacey stood in front of Mrs. Ryan’s house trying to process what had just happened. Everything seemed so surreal.

"Uhm... I don’t think we should let this evening end on such a... bitter tone. We could spend the rest of the evening at Grams’ and watch some insanely dumb, silly and happy comedy or something,... if you like?", Jen suggested.

"Sounds good to me.", Joey half-smiled still clutching Pacey’s hand. He was her rescue anchor. Without him by her side she’d have broken down long before.

Pacey wrapped his arm around Joey. "Okay, harmless fun it is."

The three made themselves at home in Grams’ living room and settled for some recorded Friends episodes. They watched silently.

Jen hugged her knees while Joey snuggled up in Pacey’s arms. After a while Joey sat up.

"Jen? Where’s the bathroom?"

"Down the hall to your right.", Jen looked up and pointed Joey the way.

When Joey did not return after several minutes Pacey became restless. He felt that something was wrong with her. What the hell could be right with her after this fucked up mess.

"I’m going to check on her.", he said and followed Joey to the bathroom.

Several minutes later Jen heard him returning.

"It’s about time you two came back. I started to...", she looked up and was met with a very concerned Pacey.

"Where’s Joey?", Jen asked feeling that something was very wrong.

"She’s locked herself in the bathroom and she doesn’t answer me. She is crying, Jen. She is crying."

~*~

Joey closed the bathroom door behind her and looked in the mirror. She didn’t feel that bad about slugging Dawson but she felt sad. She’d never expected Dawson to say such mean things, whether the words were addressed to Pacey, Jen or herself.

Thoughts were running through her mind mixing with memories. She let her eyes wander to the small window. Outside it had started to rain again. The weather mirrored her emotional state perfectly. Finally her inner turmoil welled up her eyes.

Joey slid down to the floor drawing up her knees, giving in to her tears.

"Joey? Are you alright?", she heard Pacey’s voice coming through the door.

Immediately she tried to stifle her sobs. She didn’t want to worry him any more than he already was. She could hear it in his voice but she couldn’t talk to him right now. She needed some moments for herself.

The fact that she was causing any pain for Pacey made her cry even harder. She couldn’t help it.

~*~

"She’s locked herself in the bathroom and she doesn’t answer me. She is crying, Jen. She is crying.", the worry and pain in Pacey’s voice was obvious.

Jen nodded. She was on the verge of tears herself. She could only imagine how Joey had to be feeling after Dawson’s outburst. Somehow he had managed to lash out at all of them in a few painful words.

"Do you think she would talk to me?", Jen stood up.

"Maybe... . Could you...?"

"Of course, Pacey. I’ll try.", Jen went to the bathroom. She wasn’t sure if their newfound friendship which was actually only in its building stage would entitle her to get through to Joey but she was willing to try.

~*~

"Joey, it’s me. Can I come in?", Jen knocked lightly on the door. For some seconds she got no response. Eventually she heard the door being unlocked. Jen slipped in the bathroom and closed the door again.

Joey had returned to her position on the floor and Jen sat down beside her. She was still quietly sobbing while Jen examined her.

"So, ... uh..., wanna talk about it?", Jen didn’t know how to start.

Joey glanced at Jen with red, puffy eyes and took a deep breath. She propped her elbows on her knees, pressing her palms against her forehead.

Jen patiently waited for Joey’s reply.

"I... I’m so sorry, Jen.", Joey tried to steady her voice.

"Why? What could you be sorry for, Joey?", Jen was taken aback.

"Dawson..., he was so mean and hateful. All those things he said, they... he made me so angry. And then..."

"Are you sorry for kicking him? Because you shouldn’t be. He deserved it.", Jen was still confused.

"No... Yes, but...", Joey took another deep breath, "I’m not really sorry about that. Maybe me kicking him got him his senses back, I don’t know. But, how could I kick him for doing something I’ve already done myself?"

"Huh?", Jen frowned.

"I did the same thing, Jen. I have been as mean to you as Dawson has been tonight. I spat venomous remarks towards you..."

"Oh... . No, Joey. You’re wrong. You did not the same thing. Okay, admittedly you weren’t very friendly towards me and yes, you acted like a little bitch sometimes, but... that was still different. Your words may have stung a bit, too, nevertheless you have never been as hurtful as Dawson.

We haven’t known each other for years like the three of you when I arrived. We weren’t friends to begin with so you couldn’t hurt me that bad."

Jen thought for a moment before she continued. "You tried to defend your relationship with Dawson, maybe even with Pacey, against an intruder, which I happened to be. ... I’m pretty sure I would have acted in the same way if I were walking in your shoes. We’re both used to be surrounded by male friends so I guess we get a bit possessive whenever another female human being steps in the picture. Perhaps we could be compared to a lioness. Someone threatens our little family and we show them our claws.", Jen giggled.

"So, ... you don’t hate me?", Joey tried to give Jen a small smile.

"God no, Joey! I thought we already got closer this past week.", Jen added seriously.

"We did, Jen, we did. It’s just... what happened today got me thinking... and... I ... I want to apologize to you for being such a bitch. ... You know, back when we were in detention I asked you why you had to be so nice, while I was so ...", Joey paused and then chuckled, " I guess Pacey would call it icy. But I really meant it, that you are nice because I do like you. I just needed some time to warm up to the idea of having a girlfriend for a change, but... actually it’s great to have you.", Joey finished biting her lower lip and waiting for Jen’s reaction.

Jen was dumbfounded at what Joey told her and her eyes welled up for the third time this evening. Only this time they were happy tears.

"Aww. ... I think it’s great to have you, too. I always wanted to have a girlfriend and I don’t think there’s anybody I would rather have than you.", Jen hugged Joey who returned the embrace.

"And your little speech, ...well, too bad I’m not a lesbian because I’d fall in love with you instantly.", Jen laughed and hugged her again.

"Good for you because I’m already taken.", Joey smiled and raised an eyebrow. "We don’t have to do all the girly stuff now, ... like painting each other nails or gobble up fashion magazines...?"

"No... at least not all the time.", Jen smirked.

Joey nodded and tucked some stray strands behind her ear. There was still another thing she was struggling with. Jen noticed Joey’s mood falling back to being sad so she softly nudged her shoulder.

"Now that our new friendship is officially sealed and all.... There’s still something else, right? Dawson hurt you deeply, didn’t he?"

"Not only me. He hurt Pacey even more not to mention you." Joey lowered her head again worrying her lip with her teeth.

"Besides all the horrible things he has said he did have a point though."

"Come again? What are you talking about, Joey? Everything he said was total crap!", Jen felt her anger rise again just with thinking about Dawson’s comments.

"He’s still right with the fact that I’m inexperienced. Pacey is my very first boyfriend. Sometimes I can’t even believe that I have a boyfriend at all. Why would someone be interested in me of all people? I’m a tomboy, I don’t act all girly, I’m no vamp, I’m ... nothing. How can I compete with someone like Miss Jacobs?"

"Joey, you can’t probably think this, can you?", Jen shook her head. "All the time I was with Dawson I wondered when he would open up his eyes to the gorgeous girl who spent every Saturday night in his bed and discover that she’s the one he really wanted. Given the chance I would trade places with you immediately. I am way too short, my face is too round and sometimes I think I look like a duck."

"You do not look like a duck, Jen!"

"If you say so.... See, both of us suffer from a distorted self-perception.", Jen laughed again, "And about ‘competing with Miss Jacobs’. Are you crazy? She could have been Pacey’s mother for God’s sake. You do not want to be his mother, I’m sure you don’t."

"But he was attracted to her and...", Joey stubbornly remarked.

"Yeah. Of course he was attracted. Do birds fly? Do fish swim? Every teenaged boy would be attracted to a midlife-crisis affected woman who offers them sex. What better way to gain experience and boast about how big a stud they are in front of their friends? ... Only Pacey never did that."

"No, he didn’t.", Joey smiled.

"He’s one of the rare good ones, Joey. Maybe he only turned to Miss Jacobs because he couldn’t find affection anywhere else. ... What was the name of the movie he referred Miss Jacobs to?"

"The Graduate."

"Right. Do you know how that movie ended, Joey? Did the main character choose the mother or the daughter?"

"The daughter..."

"See."

"What if I disappoint him in any way?"

"I don’t think that is possible... ever. But I guess I could talk my head off here and you would still not believe me. You just have to..."

"... talk to him.", Joey finished the sentence.

"That’s it.", Jen nodded.

"Is he mad at me?", Joey asked in a small voice.

"Why would he be mad? No, he’s not mad.... he’s concerned, worried because you were crying. As I left him he was pacing up and down the living room like a caged lion.... Ohh, see how that fits? Caged lion and fighting lioness....", Jen laughed.

"So I’d better get him purring again, huh?", Joey stood up.

"Yup. I’ll be in my room... for a while,... so....", Jen opened the door and shoved Joey out of the bathroom.

~*~

The TV was still on but Pacey wasn’t watching. At first he had been pacing the living room restlessly, then when Jen disappeared in the bathroom he started to calm down. At least someone was with Joey. Still he was extremely worried and with each minute that passed by his fear was growing. What if Dawson’s rant was successful in the end? What if Joey changed her mind and decided to end things between them?

They had only been together for a week and sometimes he couldn’t believe that they were together at all. The thought of losing her, the mere possibility was killing him.

Sure, right after Dawson’s outburst Joey had stood up against him, she even kicked him where it hurt the most.

Still Dawson was very lucky to get away with only that single kick. If Joey had let him, he would have beaten up Dawson pretty bad.

How could he dare to say something like that to Joey? Pacey didn’t care what Dawson had said to him. It had hurt him, of course, but hurting Joey was something Pacey could not forgive.

Now Joey had locked herself in the bathroom and refused to talk to him. Why had she done that? Pacey could only think of one answer to that question and that left him waiting for the other shoe to drop.

~*~

Joey returned to the living room. Her talk with Jen had cheered her up and encouraged her to talk to Pacey. He leaned against the wall looking out at the rain, just like she had done in the bathroom. His shoulders were slumped in what seemed to be defeat.

Joey rushed over to him, embracing him from behind she placed her head on his back. "Hey, Pace."

"Hey, Potter.", Pacey had sensed Joey before she wrapped her arms around him. He prepared himself for the expected termination of their relationship but then she stepped behind him, enclosing him in her embrace. He felt the electricity between them and brought his hand down to hers that rested on his stomach. He heard and felt his heart beating up to his throat. What would she say?

Joey tightened her embrace and moved to Pacey’s side, enabling him to wrap his left arm around her shoulder. "I’m sorry, Pacey...", Joey felt Pacey tense up as the words left her mouth. He pulled slightly away from her and cleared his throat.

That was it. She had started telling him that it was over. Pacey was sure about this, still he couldn’t take his arm away from her. He wanted the physical contact between them to last as long as possible before he would never get a chance to touch her again. As he pulled back he was not able to meet her eyes that were gazing up to him. He had to force himself to speak, to interrupt her, he needed to hear the dreaded words.

"Is it over?"

"What?", Joey didn’t seem to understand or maybe he was hoping that she did not understand because that would mean that.... He didn’t dare to linger on this thought.

"Are we over?"

"No, Pacey, no. ... Not if I have anything to say about that.", Joey cupped his face, forcing him to look into her eyes. She had felt that Pacey was scared, but she had not expected that he would question their relationship. When he finally met her gaze she saw his eyes lighting up.

"You have everything to say about that.", she had said no, she did not want them to be over. Pacey pulled her closer to him again. Maybe this shoe wouldn’t drop after all.

"You said ‘sorry’. What for, Joey? If you don’t want to end things between us, then why...?", he was still scared that something was wrong.

Joey ran her thumb over Pacey’s lips, silencing him.

"I’m sorry that I didn’t let you in the bathroom just now, that I left you wondering why I was... crying."

Pacey guided Joey to the couch and sat down motioning for her to sit on his lap. Right now he couldn’t bear to lose contact between their bodies. He had to feel her in his arms.

"It’s about Dawson, right?"

Joey shook her head. "Not really. ... I thought about what happened tonight and then I thought that I have acted just like him ... regarding Jen."

Pacey was surprised. He had expected a lot but not this.

"You didn’t..."

Joey buried her head in the crook of Pacey’s neck and played with the small hairs right above it.

"I know that... now. I’ve already talked about that with Jen... while we were in the bathroom."

"Okay,... so, there’s more?", it wasn’t really a question but a conclusion.

"Yeah. Uhmm... Don’t get me wrong now, I meant what I said to Dawson and I don’t regret it, but in a way he does have a point."

Pacey entwined his hand with hers, urging her to continue. What the hell could she mean? Was she afraid that Dawson’s accusations against him were right? She couldn’t think that, could she?

"God, this is hard...", Joey didn’t know how to start. She felt so stupid. "Okay, he... he was right about me being so inexperienced. I... I... don’t want to disappoint you.... and....", fresh tears started to fall.

Pacey shifted their position and tilted up Joey’s chin, wiping her tears away. "Shhh, Joey. You could never disappoint me, never.", he whispered.

"But... sometimes I don’t know what... or rather how... to do... something. Or if you expect me to do something and I don’t realize it. I’m so... insecure... . Every time you touch me... it feels so good... you make me feel the butterflies... always. And when I touch you I want you to feel them, too. But I’m not sure if I do it... right or if it’s enough for you..."

Pacey stopped her rambling by kissing her hungrily. Trying to show her without words that everything she did was more than right, that he felt those butterflies at the smallest touch of her or even when she just smiled at him.

Joey instinctively changed her position on his lap until she was straddling him, allowing him to deepen their kiss further, feeling his hands roam over her back until he buried one hand in her hair. As she felt his obvious arousal beneath her she started to blush. It amazed her that she had the power to do that to him.

Pacey’s breath was labored as they had to come up for air.

"Can you feel that, Joey?", he needed to assure her that she had absolutely no reason to doubt what she was doing to him.

"Yes.", Joey was breathless and still very flushed.

"That’s what you do to me almost every time you touch me. Actually it’s already enough when you just smile at me or when you roll your eyes, or when your hair brushes me. The list is endless, Jo. Whenever I’m with you, regardless of what we are doing, I feel the butterflies."

"Really?", Joey’s eyes went wide.

"Really. ... Remember this morning when I tried to wake you up and pulled your blanket away?"

Joey nodded.

"You complained that it was cold and I said that it wasn’t as cold as my shower had been? See, while you were still sleeping your hand rested on my stomach...", Pacey kissed the palm of her hand, "... and then you stirred and your hand slipped further... ahmm, ...down...."

"Ohh...", Joey blushed again.

"Yeah, ohh. I had to take a very, very cold shower, Potter. So don’t ever think that you’re doing something wrong or that it’s not enough for me...."

"But you and Miss Jacobs.... you had..."

"We had sex, yes. But that’s it, Joey, just sex. I was curious and she, well, she was... willing to teach me.", now it was Pacey’s turn to blush.

"I did care about her and I don’t regret that we did it. But, Joey...", Pace cradled Joey’s face intensely looking in her eyes, ..."I did not love her, I was not in love with her. That is what I really regret, I regret that my first time wasn’t with someone I was in love with. I guess what I’m trying to say is I might be more experienced with the... uh... technicalities of sex... but I’m as inexperienced with love and making love to someone as you are. Can you understand that?"

Joey slowly nodded and kissed the palm of his hand that was still cradling her cheek.

"Good, because... I won’t pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do or you’re not ready to do. We’ll just do what feels good and right to you, Joey. It’s not important what we do as long as we are together. Okay?"

"Okay. ... God, what have I done to deserve you?", Joey touched her forehead against Pacey’s.

"Wrong question, Potter.", Pacey chuckled, "What have I done to deserve you?"

"Everything.", Joey kissed him.

"Uh, Joey, wait. I have something more to say.", Pacey broke their kiss, "Dawson said I’d do anything for sex, but that’s not true..."

"I know that."

"Good, but still... I’m not with you because...", Pacey blushed again, "...well, I mean I do want to make love to you... sometime, but there’s so much more. I know it sounds pretty much impossible because we have been ‘mortal enemies’ for so long, but I’ve fallen for you, Joey... very hard that is." That was it. He had said it, had admitted everything. Pacey anxiously waited for Joey’s reaction. He looked in her dark eyes and noticed a fire within them that he hadn’t seen there ever before.

"We never were enemies, Pace. Not really."

"No?"

"No. We just had to find a way to... uh... channel our feelings, I guess and so we did the only thing that we could..."

"You tease the one you love most, huh?"

"Exactly. Pace? I’ve fallen for you, too. And I’m so sorry that I worried you..."

"Don’t be.", Pacey was overwhelmed with love and joy. Everything he ever wanted was right in front of him and he meant the same to her.

"Just don’t ever shut me out like this again."

"I won’t, I promise. ... And don’t you ever think again that I don’t want to be with you, Pacey."

Pacey nodded. "So, we’re good then?"

"Very good."

They kissed again only to be interrupted by Jen this time.

"Uh, ... is it save to come back, now?"

"Aarghh, Lindley!", Pacey exclaimed frustrated.

"What?! Just imagine it had been Grams who found you two doing unholy things on her couch...", Jen giggled, "... so, ice-cream, anyone? Helps you to cool off and still guarantees a good mood."

"Cookie-dough?", Joey asked laughing at Pacey’s disappointed face.

"Yup, ... with chocolate chips!", Jen returned with the ice and spoons.

"Okay, deal... for the time being.", Pacey grabbed a spoon.

~*~

Dawson spent the rest of the weekend in his room horrified at himself. He hated what he had done, hated himself, his life and pretty much everything else. He sat at the window through which Joey used to climb in, something he was sure she wouldn’t do anymore, and watched the cold November rain turning the world outside in various shades of grey.

Late on Saturday night he had seen Joey and Pacey leaving Mrs. Ryan’s house together. They were together. He had to accept that. It still hurt but the pain caused by his own outburst was ten times worse.

He feared he had lost all his friends, everybody that meant so much to him. In less than five minutes he had destroyed their lifelong friendship and the tiniest chance he had with Jen, no matter if it was their newfound friendship or anything else.

He was scared that they would hate him. He doubted that they could ever forgive him. He didn’t know what he would do in place of them.

~*~

"Has anybody seen Dawson today?", Jen asked as she sat down next to Joey setting her lunch tray down.

"No.", Joey answered biting her lip. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to see him so soon. And after all she had her mind somewhere else. She needed to talk to Jen but Pacey was with them all the time. Not that she minded it was just impossible to prepare a surprise for him with him by her side.

"Be right back.", Pacey kissed Joey’s head and left the table to go to the bathroom.

"Uh, Jen? Now that we’re alone for a moment. I need to ask you for a favor.", Joey whispered.

Jen was intrigued at once. Joey’s face was so determined and secretive. "What for?"

"When we we’re at your place on Saturday I saw that you have a piano."

"Yeah, it’s Grams’ actually..."

"Ohh. Uh, ... can you play it?"

"I haven’t for a long time but yes, I can play the piano. I’ve had some years of instruction in New York, why?"

"Friday is the school anniversary gala and they’re preparing some kind of program for the alumni, parents and all others by the current students and one of them got sick or something and they’re looking for a replacement."

"Okay... . What do you need me for then?"

"Uh, I was asked this morning if I could step in... with something... for being a mostly A-grade student...", Joey felt a bit embarrassed, "... and that’s when I got this idea."

"I have a feeling I won’t like this.", Jen frowned.

"Look, I don’t have that many talents but my singing ability is quite decent. And there’s this song and I thought maybe I could sing it and not only do it for the gala but for Pacey, too."

"I’m a little lost here."

"Well, on Saturday Pacey was afraid I would end our relationship because of Dawson. We have talked about everything and told each other that we’ve fallen for each other. I thought it would be a nice surprise for him if I made it even more.... uh... official?"

"Ohh."

"I’m too embarrassed to do it all alone, but...."

"You want me to accompany you on the piano?"

"Please?", Joey gave Jen her pleading eyes.

"What are you begging for, Potter?", Pacey returned to their table and saw Joey using ‘the eyes’.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I just had something in my eye and asked Jen to check on it..."

"Ahh.", Pacey wasn’t sure about that but he let it slide because from out of nowhere Dawson had appeared in front of them.

~*~

"Hey.", Dawson nervously said as he approached the table where Jen, Joey and Pacey were eating their lunch. All three of them looked at him but nobody said anything.

"I... wanted to apologize to all of you. What I did, what I said last Saturday was very much uncalled for and more than way out of line. I am so sorry. I whish I could take everything back. I was angry and I hurt you, all of you. I do regret that. I hate myself for saying these things, for insulting you...", his voice was very small and shaky.

Dawson searched their faces for any sign. Pacey stared at him, protectively wrapping his arms around Joey, whose face displayed sadness. Jen’s eyes looked at him coldly, somehow indifferently.

Dawson sighed. "I...uh... Do you think you could forgive me... someday?"

Pacey turned his head nuzzling Joey’s hair. Jen lowered her gaze to her fingers only Joey looked at him directly.

"I guess I could forgive you because to some degree I can understand why you did what you did. But I won’t forget what you said. You hurt me deeply, Dawson and it will take some time to heal."

Dawson nodded. At least Joey talked to him. "That is only fair. Uh, Pacey?"

Pacey struggled to keep his voice neutral. "If Joey can forgive you I should be able to do so, too. I usually don’t bear a grudge for something but what you said , what you accused me to be ... That’s huge, Dawson. I’m not sure if you’ve ever really known me and that’s sad. I guess time will tell if our...", Pacey hesitated, "... friendship... can be reanimated. Nevertheless I’m willing to give it a try."

"Thank you.", Dawson turned to Jen. She was very calm and took a deep breath before she gave him an answer.

"Well. You’ve apologized and as far as I can see you did it honestly. That is a start. Everything else will fall in place eventually.", she didn’t promise him anything. This was all she could offer.

"I can understand that. I’m sorry and... thank you for listening to me. Uh, ... I guess I’ll see you?"

"Yeah, see ya Dawson.", Joey answered with a friendly but mostly impersonal smile.

Dawson was relieved. Things had gone much better than he had anticipated. He was determined to earn their friendship back, at least they’d given him hope that they were able to overcome this and that was more than he had imagined under the given circumstances.

~*~

The week went by quickly.

The weather hadn’t changed, it was still raining most of the time but they were so busied that they took only small notice.

Jen and Joey rehearsed as much as possible and they discovered that they worked very well together. It wasn’t easy to hide their preparations from Pacey who clearly suspected that something was going on but somehow they managed to distract him from deeper inquisitions. Especially Joey had certain ways to set his mind to different things.

They talked to Dawson without spending a lot of time with him. Nevertheless he was grateful to them. At least they were on speaking terms. Like Jen had said it was a start.

~*~

"Why do we have to go to that anniversary gala? We’re not exactly that school-spirited...", Pacey whined leaning against Joey’s locker.

"Come on, Pace. We’ll have fun just you wait...", Joey tried to cheer him up even though she needed someone to encourage herself desperately.

It was Friday and she was only a few hours away from one of the most embarrassing and frightening moments in her life. She just hoped she wouldn’t make a complete fool out of herself.

"Aww, Jo, ... I can think of a lot things we could do all by ourselves and have much more fun....", Pacey suggestively raised his brows reaching for Joey’s hand.

"Bite me!"

"As you wish, milady.", Pacey bent forward and lightly bit Joey’s earlobe."

"Pacey! ... You bug me!", Joey actually liked what he did but she couldn’t let him win and talk her out of going to the gala. Sure, he didn’t know why they had to go, after all she planned to surprise him.

"And you love me!", Pacey grinned.

Oh how true that was. Joey bit on her lower lip, trying to cover her own smile.

"We’re still going to the gala!"

~*~

"So, Pacey still doesn’t have any clue?", Jen asked stretching her fingers.

"No.", Joey’s answers had become monosyllabic. They had only a few minutes left before they had to go out on the stage and she felt sick.

"Not even as he saw your dress?", Jen tried to calm Joey.

"No. ... He didn’t see it so ..."

"How could he not see it?"

"Bessie and Bodie gave me a ride and I told him we would meet here. Everything was covered by my coat and then you appeared and we made our excuses for having to help with the organization.", now Joey started to feel extremely cold.

"I guess he’s not a very happy camper right now then.", Jen chuckled.

"Probably not. He hates being here. It surely doesn’t help that I haven’t been around the whole evening. I just hope he’ll like my surprise. ... What if I suck? I have never done anything like this... in front of so many people. ... Why am I doing this again?", Joey wished she had never had such a stupid idea.

"Because you love him.", Jen reached for Joey’s icy hand. "You don’t have to worry. He will love it, well... at least if he doesn’t pass out at the sight of you in this sexy dress!"

Jen eyed the long black evening gown with spaghetti straps. It was simple but elegant and clung to Joey’s body as if it was a second skin. She looke gorgeous. Her hair was pinned up and the blush that crept up her cheeks did nothing but making her even more beautiful.

They were given a sign that it was their turn now and both girls walked towards the stage.

"Too late to run now, huh?", Joey was slightly shaking.

"Definitely. ... Just look at Pacey and everything will be fine.", Jen squeezed Joey’s hand for a last time.

~*~

Pacey was bored, very bored. He sat next to Bessie who was enjoying an evening outside the Icehouse. Joey had made him got to this damned school gala and the minute she had arrived she had left again with Jen to help organizing the evening. That was what she had been doing the whole week long. He didn’t understand why he had to be here ... without her. She had promised he would like the evening but up to now he had to struggle to keep his eyes open. He would do anything for her but this was plain horror.

"Bessie, how much longer does this gala go on again?", Bessie had a program but she wouldn’t let him look at it. This was weird but that was nothing new concerning the Potter women. Still he had a feeling that Bessie knew more than she told him, ... again nothing new there.

"Patience is a virtue, Pacey.", Bessie smiled.

She did indeed know about Joey’s surprise and was very proud of her. Her little sister who was always afraid to get up in front of people for show-and-tell did something so brave and beautiful to surprise her boyfriend. Love truly made people do the strangest and best things.

Pacey scowled at Bessie.

"My, my... Alright, there’s one performance left and then the official part of the gala is over."

"Thank God!", Pacey leaned back and closed his eyes. A few more minutes and this torture would be ending and then he would hopefully spend the rest of the evening with Joey.

He didn’t pay much attention to the announcement of their principal until he heard the names of the performers and his eyes shot open.

"....the final performance of this wonderful evening is presented to you by two of our sophomore students, Miss Jennifer Lindley and Miss Josephine Potter.", the principal left the stage in darkness.

Pacey clutched the armrests of his chair and held his breath. Did he just say Jennifer Lindley and Josephine Potter?

A spotlight was turned on and bathed the stage in soft light. Jen was sitting at the piano and Joey was standing close beside her behind a microphone.

Pacey had to swallow hard. Joey was so stunning, he couldn’t let her out of his sight. She was performing and she hadn’t said a word to him ... unless dragging him to the gala was counting.

Jen started to play and Joey scanned the people in front of her. She had made sure that Bessie would choose a seat close to the stage so she could see her and Pacey. As she finally found them she locked eyes with him and smiled. Now she was ready, now she could ignore her nervousness. She started to sing, never leaving his eyes.

Pacey listened in awe. Joey looked into his eyes all the time and it was as if she was singing only for him.

They had said that they had fallen for each other but they had yet to say those three little words that had the power to change the world... their world at least. While Joey was singing and Pacey was listening they communicated them with their eyes. Still Pacey couldn’t wait to go to her and actually say them. She had practically admitted her love for him in front of the whole school.

The second Joey ended and the people started applauding nothing was able to keep Pacey in his seat. He stormed behind the stage, nearly knocking over some innocent bystanders, and twirled Joey around, hugging her tightly and kissing her intensely without saying a word.

Jen smiled. Joey’s plan was undoubtedly a big success. Pacey couldn’t keep his hands off of her, ... well he couldn’t keep them off ever since they got together.

When Pacey finally let them come up for much needed air both were panting.

"I love you, Jo.", Pacey held her face with both hands. He noticed the tears forming in Joey’s eyes but she was smiling.

"I love you, too, Pace.", he was sure his eyes were also giving away all his emotions and he kissed her again.

This didn’t just feel like home, this was home.

~*~

"Aww, how much longer does this kissing go on, Pacey?", Bessie mockingly joined them behind the stage, pride evidently written all over her face."

"For the rest of my life?", Pacey grinned but his statement wasn’t far from the truth. He couldn’t think of anything better to do for the rest of his life.

"Jeez.... Too much information, Pacey!", Jen laughed.

"Come on, kiddies. Bodie has prepared an appropriate banquet at the Icehouse."

"That we wouldn’t want to miss.", Joey remarked, never letting go of Pacey.

"Uh, hi. ... That was amazing, Jo..ey.", Dawson shyly approached them. He wasn’t sure if she, if all of them, wanted to see him right now.

"Thank you, Dawson.", Joey nodded her head, giving him a lopsided smile. She was so happy she just couldn’t be mad at him anymore.

Dawson bowed his head. Then he turned to Pacey. "You are a very lucky man, Pacey.", he offered him his hand.

With this gesture he tried again to apologize, to let him know that he acknowledged him and Joey as a couple. They weren’t the closest friends anymore but maybe they could get there again eventually.

"I know. I know.", Pacey took Dawson’s hand. Maybe they could start over again.

"So, we’re heading to the Icehouse. Wanna join us, Dawson?", Joey offered.

"I’d love to.", Dawson genuinely smiled for the first time in weeks.

They left the school. The rain had finally stopped and the clouds had vanished. In the clear sky millions of stars sparkled. The world was wonderful.

"It’s true, ...", Dawson thought, "... nothing lasts forever, not even November rain."

~*~

Back to Series

Home