| *-Just A Thought-* |
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| If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? How do you know when you're out of invisible ink? Since cats always land on their feet and jelly bread always lands jelly-side down, what happens if you tie jelly bread to the back of a cat? If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on? If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done? Why aren't there bullet-proof pants? Does anybody ever vanish with a trace? If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first? If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? Why is it called a TV set when you only get one? Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor? If you take a shower, where do you put it? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Why is the word abbreviate so long? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on? Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation? If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? Do one legged ducks swim in circles? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? |
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