just like i did yesterday
and the day before that
and the day before that
when talking about you
i'm forced to talk about her
obviously
but there was something different about my words today
they weren't all bad
if you can believe that
and i've created a picture of you and her
in my mind
and it hurts to admit it
though a lot of things still hurt
you two look good together
in my mind at least
and i'm happy for you
i really am
i'm told that if given the chance
i'd give us another chance
but i wouldn't
as happy as you made me
you also made me the saddest girl i've ever known
i know you didn't love me
but i did love you
i remember asking you
before we went that far
if you were just with me for sex
you said no
i believed you
i also believed you when you said you'd never hurt me
as if i wasn't broken enough to begin with
you broke me
into smaller pieces that are even smaller than they were before
and this time
i don't know if i can put the pieces back together
and i don't know if i'll ever be okay
and though leaving is still in my near future
i've realized that no matter how far i go
or how fast i run to get there
i may not ever be okay
and my heart may never heal
but i know that if i never see you again
i can try to move on
but you'll have to live with knowing how much damage you caused to an already broken heart
to know you're alone
no on will call you
don't wait by the phone
its been a long day
with no one around
can't look for whats lost
it will never be found
just want to crawl
back into bed
forget about life
pretend that you're dead
every one knows
you're nothing but fake
smiling when you're sad
all for their sake
they don't want to see you happy
they'd hate to see you cry
you're never going to win
if you refuse to find out why
nothing will get better
it may even get worse
life is about lessons
but yours is a curse
it never stood a chance
heavy heads hang on thought
longing for romance
tears are wiped away from eyes
too tired to see
while ears listen to hear the words
you'll never say to me