To understand this lady let me tell you how she got to this point in her life. She was raised in a small town in the southern states. She was an outcast by all who knew her except her family. She went thru school never really having a true friend. She approached life wild and free to get attention and what she thought to be friends. When she was in her last year of high school she tryed to fit in and hung out with a wild crowd, of four boys and 3 girls. But they used her instead of being her friends.
She became pregant by trying to hold on to just one of the guys in her group of friends. All during her time of carrying the child he refused to even acknowledge it was his and he knew it was. Her father offered him a home and a place of work as long as he took care of her and the child, the young man refused. As she went through this time she also became best friends with another boy from her group of friends, he was good to her and as time got closer for her to have the child he wanted to take care of her and the child. But she turned him down for even thou she loved him in a special way she knew she did not love him in the way a woman should a man. So they stayed friends.
When the child came in the middle of the summer, her friend was the one who supported her in friendship and companionship. He helped in many ways, and she began to like her young gentle man friend more but it still wasn't love to her, and he fell in love with her and the child. And once again he asked her to let him take care of her and the child, but she said she could not for she loved him dearly but not like she should and told him it would not be fair to him. So they parted friends and she never saw him again. And for years she wished she had said yes to him.
She trted to be a mother to her child, but at times she let every one over take her and finally she could not take it any more so she did what she thought to be the best for her child, she left the child with her family. And she walked away without a good bye. She felt like she was no good to anyone especially her child.
She went from place to place and man to man looking for what was missing inside her. She thought she had found it once in a man who was much older than her and she decided to give her life to him, now grant it this man was old enough to be her father but she did not want to see his faults. So they married and had a son 1 yr later, but during that yr this man she married was not as kind to her as she was to him. He drank and he got wild when he drank and beat her. Since she didn't know what love was for sure she thought in her mind it was alright. Until the day came that she found out once again she was pregant even against her will but glad at the same time. She hoped that this would maybe make him quit beating her at least for a while. So she waited until she thought he was in the right mood to tell him the news, which was a big mistake. For he beat her like he had never beat her before.
She was so scared of him, because this time he put her in the hospital and she had broken bones and cuts and bruises and she was afraid she was going to loose the child. But after she was well enough she went home again to this man but with a plan in her head and nothing was stoppping her nothing at all. She had made up her mind that even thou she had not had any contact with her family for two years, she was going home. Nine months later she was home with her family and her 3 children, but because of her guilt and sorrow towards the way she did things before she left home she had to make a very tough choice and gave the custody of her oldest child to her family with the understanding the child knew who she was.
As the years passed she became a wondering soul again but she always had contact back to home. At times in her adventures she left her two young children with her family, but she always came back. Then one day she came home and didn't want to leave so she stayed and did hte things she left she missed with her children, even thou some of it was to late to do with them.
She had been through several relationships that only turned to diaster, disbelief, and utterly devostation to her for she was rejected time and time agin after opening up to each and evryone of the men in her life. We she was rejected she saw the hurt and anger build in her children and all she wanted was to be loved for herself. And for someone to love and care about her children as much as she did.
