quotes_main.page

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QUOTES:

My space to share some of the funniest, most interesting, inpirational, or just the plain silliest quotes and stories I've read or heard. The list goes on and on...with more to come.

FUNNY QUOTES:

INTERESTING QUOTES:

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES:

JUST PLAIN SILLY QUOTES:

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#1: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing!
- Redd Foxx

#1: Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language, and forthwith it is something entirely different.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goeth

#1: A golf ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. Hitting a tree is simply bad luck and has no place in a scientific game. The player should estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not hit the tree and play from there, preferably atop a nice firm tuft of grass.
- Donald A. Metz

THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SAY...Hmm:.

#1: Laws of Serendipity
(1) In order to discover anything, you must be looking for something.
(2) If you wish to make an improved product, you must already be engaged in making an inferior one.

POEM:

LOVE'S DRUG
My love is like an iron wand
That conks me on the head,
My love is like the valium
That I take before my bed,
My love is like the pint of scotch
That I drink when I be dry;
And I shall love thee still, my dear,
Until my wife is wise.

#1:

#2: Do you have lysdexia?

#2: Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

#2: The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein

#3: One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from one end to the other. Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70 percent discipline, like learning Latin. But the good parts are, of course, simply amazing. God is an extremely uneven writer, but when He's good, nobody can touch Him.
- John Gardner, NYT Book Review, January 1983

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THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT:

#1: After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a darn.

#2: If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture.

#3: Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed.
- Irene Peter

#4: Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.

#5: "Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it weren't for other people." - Blore

#6: "I drink to make other people interesting." - George Jean Nathan

#1: It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the lowly ant crawls the ground, but cannot the soul of the ant soar as high as the eagle?

Love is a word that is constantly heard,
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And Love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.
- Ogden Nash

#2:

#2: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

#3: Those who stand for nothing, will fall for anything!

#4: Do not live your life by other people's often misguided & misinformed perceptions.

#3: Boren's Laws:
(1) When in charge, ponder.
(2) When in trouble, delegate.
(3) When in doubt, mumble.

#4: "I dread success. To have suceeded is to have finished one's business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind." George Bernard Shaw