Entry 13: Harvey the Wonder Nazi Returns
Agent Number 9 was assigned by Agent Number 8 to do a more thorough check of Harvey the Nazi, who declined before to admit who he was (see Entry 10). Harvey turned out to not be a faggot, or cause drama in the world. Their conversation is filed below.
Note: Names and screen names have been changed to protect the innocent.
XxX69XxX: i'm good....you?
Mindiis of Moo: I am well, thank you for asking.
Mindiis of Moo: What are you up to today?
XxX69XxX: your welcome.....i'm at work......haha. who is this?
Mindiis: I am Agent Number 9.
Mindiis: Where do you work?
XxX: agent number 9?
Mindiis: Yes. Agent Number 9.
XxX: cool name.
Mindiis: Thank you!
XxX: why do you call yourself that?
Mindiis: Actually, my number was assigned to me, and I am required to report as Agent Number 9 to protect the integrity of the Secret Agency.
XxX: awesome.
Mindiis: So if I told you my real name, I'd have to kill you.
Mindiis: Thank you!
Mindiis: I have a few questions to ask you on behalf of the Agency.
XxX: haha. i don't want to die so, don't tell me then. lol
XxX: sure.
Mindiis: Okay, no problem
Mindiis: Alright, question one:
Mindiis: How do you feel about hampsters?
XxX: i use to have them as pets. they are fun. kinda dumb though
Mindiis: Interesting
XxX: yes. very
Mindiis: Question 2:
XxX: ok
Mindiis: Do you prefer ribbed, lamb skin, or classic?
Mindiis: What's your pleasure?
XxX: well, seeing that i'm a guy....classic. ribbed is fun for the girl. never tried lamb skin...never will.
XxX: haha.
Mindiis: Okay.
Mindiis: 3:
Mindiis: Well, this isn't really a question.
XxX: ok
Mindiis: But please explain your wildest fantasy, if you would.
Mindiis: You're not shy, are you?
XxX: haha. not shy at all.
XxX: wildest fantasy. hmmm.
Mindiis: Yes.
XxX: hold on phone call
Mindiis: Alright.
XxX: back.
XxX: really, who is this? lol
Mindiis: Okay.
Mindiis: I am Agent Number 9.
XxX: nooooo. for real. who is this?
Mindiis: Don't worry.
Mindiis: I am Agent Number 9.
Mindiis: I cannot reveal my true name.
XxX: haha. well, are you male or female?
Mindiis: I am a female.
XxX: age?
XxX: ;) since you can't tell me your name. the age thing is my last question
Mindiis: I cannot reveal my age as protection to myself.
Mindiis: Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you though.
Mindiis: This is for pedophile protection.
XxX: haha. ok. well, there are loads of fantasys yo.
Mindiis: Do you fantasize often?
XxX: of course....all the time.
XxX: don't u??
Mindiis: Females do not often masturbate, no.
Mindiis: You seem most eager to talk about your sexual habits though.
XxX: haha. you think?
Mindiis: Well, you don't appear to have a problem with it.
XxX: i disagree with women not masturbating though. most actually do.
Mindiis: Oh. Well I am not one of them, then.
Mindiis: So sorry to disappoint you.
Mindiis: Do you feel you have a healthy sex life outside of masturbation/
Mindiis: ?
XxX: haha. it doesn't dissappoint me at all...cool.
XxX: yes i do.
Mindiis: Do you have any children?
XxX: haha. noooo.
Mindiis: And you are not married?
XxX: nope
XxX: are you
Mindiis: How many sexual partners have you had up to this point in your life?
Mindiis: No, I am not married.
XxX: 5. you?
Mindiis: That information is rather personal.
Mindiis: Once again, I must say that I cannot reveal this.
XxX: haha. you just asked me.
XxX: alright agent number 9. did i pass the test? lol
Mindiis: This is more of a survey than a test.
XxX: cool. what is the survey for?
Mindiis: I'm testing to see if you are a faggot or not, and if you provide drama for the rest of the world.
Mindiis: Based on your answers, I do not believe you are a faggot.
Mindiis: But whether or not you make drama in the world is another question.
XxX: aahhhhh. i see.....well, got perseption....cause i'm not gay. i don't make drama in the world either.
Mindiis: A straight person can make as much or more drama than a homosexual one can.
XxX: like how?
XxX: got = good. in that last sentence i wrote
Mindiis: Well, to test for drama, I must ask a few more questions.
Mindiis: Okay.
XxX: haha. ooookay
Mindiis: First of all, are you a member of a cult?
XxX: hell no.
Mindiis: Do you shave your nether regions?
XxX: haha. hmmmm. nope.
Mindiis: Are you a member of the Democratic party?
XxX: haha. neither party can't decide
Mindiis: Have you ever been to Canada?
XxX: yeah. a few times
Mindiis: Have you ever had sexual intercourse with a Canadian woman?
XxX: nope.
Mindiis: Final question:
XxX: ok
Mindiis: Do you like Nazis?
XxX: noooope.
XxX: never really met one
Mindiis: Very good! Your answers indicate that, no, you do not cause drama.
Mindiis: You should be proud.
XxX: haha. i am.
XxX: now i feel better about myself. lol
Mindiis: As very well you should.
Mindiis: Well, my business here is done.
Mindiis: I shall let you go now.
XxX: haha. okay
Mindiis: Have a lovely day.
XxX: thanks for taking me away from work for a most amusing time
Mindiis: No problem.
Mindiis: Good bye.
XxX: later