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| Hear the song of the Timber Wolf So mournful and remote Muzzle pointed towards the moon Wind ruffling her silver coat She sings of hunts well remembered Of mates that are now gone Of litters raised and moved away All of this is in her song The endless fight for life and death She faces every day Once more she cries out to the moon And then goes on her way |
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| It's so hard to say Goodbye When it is time to go It's OK to want to cry And let your feelings show You are tied to those you love With bonds that never break Even death can not destroy The friendships that you make Coping with loss is so hard How can you bear the pain But the hurt will slowly ease And Love's all that remains |
| Perfect Stranger Caught in a dream that threatens to wake Living a hell that we all have to take All are united, but living apart Running to freedom, caught at the start Trapped in a nightmare where you are alone You have to battle these things on your own No one to help you, no one to hold After the fight you're suddenly old Then in the distance, what do you see A small white boat on the deathly black sea As it comes closer, a man you do spy Here and then gone in a blink of an eye You look in his eyes, you've seen him before In a dream or a nightmare you've lived once before He holds tightly to you and you've lost fear of danger You know you're embracing the Perfect Stranger With him you have strength, with him you have hope Now you don't feel your life's on a rope Now it is over, you feel safe and sound No one can harm you with the Stranger around With him next to you, you feel ready to live But you do not realise it's your live to give To this Perfect Stranger who stands in your wake Your life and your soul is what he will take You can't run away, you can not escape You know deep inside you that now it's too late To bargain or beg for your soul or your life The horror runs deep, it cuts like a knife Caught in the nightmare, the ghostly bells chime Foretelling of death, destruction and crime You don't have to worry, your time's almost up Like a young bride and groom, you both drink from the Cup The Cup of eternity is the Cup of life And drinking from this will make you his wife The bells toll reverently, making a sound To tell all the living you're eternally bound To this Perfect Stranger, who smiles as he says 'Just take my hand and immortal you'll stay' You look at your past, your dreams and nightmares And take hold of his hand, because no one will care You step on his boat, so lovely and white And sail cross the sea as day turns to night You stand by his side, immune to all danger To live eternally with this Perfect Stranger |
| Those Who Are Gone Those who are gone are not forgotten They smile upon us every day They're in the sky, the sun, the trees If you listen closely, you'll hear them say "Don't dwell upon the if onlys Or what you should have done Just remember all the good times The love, the joy, the fun I know I have no tomorrow But tomorrow never comes I am eternal, I've travelled far Your journey's just begun Don't think about the bad times Or when we had our fights People who are close will do that It's a normal part of life I know I went so suddenly Without saying my goodbyes But I will always be looking after you From these wide blue skies So when at night you look up high And see the brilliant stars The one that's winking at you is me Smiling from afar" |
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| Dreams..... On. Off. On. Off. The flashing of the neon sign outside the apartment window dances over your sleeping form. Are you real? Or just a shadow, a waking dream that will disappear with the harsh reality of morning. Off. On. Off. On. The heavy bass beat of the music from the nightclub below thrums through my body, mimicking my thudding heart. I yearn to touch you, run my fingers through your tousled hair, aware that if I do, the magic will be lost. On. Off. On. Off. The musky odor of our lovemaking assails me as I slip from under the covers, padding silently to the bathroom, careful not to disturb your slumber. The fluorescent light flickers out of sync with the neon outside, revealing the true me. Shadow and light. Off. On. Off. On. I am a maiden, I am a crone. I am a goddess, I am a devil. I am a virgin, I am a mother. I am a giver of life and a bringer of death. I am your salvation and your damnation. I am whatever you want me to be. I am me. On. Off. On. Off. Slowly I get dressed, savoring the sweet pain of rough clothes scratching against my aroused body. I look again at you, the slow strobe effect of the neon etching you forever in my mind, and pick up the money you have left on the table, shutting the door on my fantasy as I move on to find my next customer. |
| The Last Time I Saw Her The last time I saw her, She said, �Mommy look at me!� �Not now darling, I�m late for work. I�m busy, can�t you see? Please don�t bother me.� �But Mommy, I�ve got something for you.� �Go and play with your sister awhile.� I quickly glanced up as she walked past, gone was her usual smile. She�ll get over it, I thought, in a while. I gave her a kiss on the cheek as I left. She whispered, �Mommy I love you.� I never replied as I rushed out the door. There were so many things to do. Her birthday was coming up soon. I got the call as I walked in at work. She�d run out to wave goodbye, and was hit by a car as she stood on the road. In her hand was a dead butterfly. Wings spread as if ready to fly. That dead butterfly was her gift to me, found on her window sill. Bright orange wings now faded in death, but treasure to a little girl. Her body now laying so still. I look at that gift as I cradle her head, her pallid face soft and serene. She�d look beautiful if not for the tubes connecting her to the machine, keeping up her supply of morphine. �She�s gone now.� I�m told by the doctor. �But she�s still breathing!� my anguished reply. 'It's the machine, her brain is now dead. It�s time now to say goodbye.� �But she is too young to die!� We buried her on her Birthday. Her last gift to me in her hand. Her sister asks when she'll be coming home. She's too young to understand. She�ll not see her sister again. I�ve never believed in God. But I wish I did right now. Because I desperately need someone to look after my sweet little girl. One who I never knew well. |
| Michael Walking down the street pushing the stroller, burdened with the insecurities of a new mother, I see you. I duck my head in the hope you won�t recognize me. �Hello Carrie, you�re looking well, and what a lovely baby. Boy or girl?� �His name is Michael.� named after his father. �And a fine strong boy he is!� I see the unasked question in your eyes. As if I would tell you. Give you the satisfaction of knowing you are the father. When all these years of trying with your wife she is still barren. You were never one to face your demons. Never one to accept responsibility. Why should I absolve you with the personal satisfaction it is not your fault. I loved you, you bastard, and you discarded me like a tissue used to wipe the semen stains from your car seat, ready for your next conquest. Your devoted wife none the wiser. �Well, I must be going.� I reply, a challenge in my eyes. You nod, the opportunity lost forever. �Goodbye Michael,' I gesture down the street, 'Mike�s waiting for me in the car.� |
| This Has To End Tonight Carefully she sliced the pale roots paper thin, wearing surgical gloves to protect herself and mixed them with the rest of the ingredients, resisting the urge to taste. She heard the front door slam. He was early. He dropped his work bag by the stairs. �What�s for dinner Love?� he called as he moved to the Lounge. She shuddered and put on a smiling face. �Where is Lisa?� he asked as he settled into his favorite chair. �She�s at a friend�s place.� she replied. For her own safety. This has to end tonight. �What�s this?� he stared at the bowl before him. �Pumpkin risotto, a recipe I got from the Internet.� He grunted acknowledgment as he started eating. She�d also read on the Internet that eating hemlock, especially the roots can cause death. Only a small amount was needed. She�d put in enough for 10 men. The hemlock set in 15 minutes later. He complained of nausea and a tight chest. On the way to the bathroom his bowels loosened and he collapsed, groaning in agony. The next hour was the hardest, while he pleaded, threatened and finally cried like a baby, lying in his own shit and vomit, too weak to move. She stood and watched. She told him then, while he was fighting for breath, panting like a bitch in heat, how she really felt about the last 5 years. A substitute for his dead wife. �You will not do this to Lisa!� she declared as he strained to draw a breath that would not come. �It�s bad enough that you did it to me.� This has to end tonight. After she was sure he was gone, she went to the kitchen, took a few mouthfuls of risotto and sat down in the Lounge to wait, watching �The Price is Right�. When the first cramps doubled her over in pain, she dialed 911. �Operator, I think my Daddy and I have eaten something bad. He�s really sick, please hurry.� |
| Breathe �Come with me,� he whispers seductively, his perfect white teeth in complete contrast with his ebony skin. His dark eyes, bottomless pools of knowledge invite you to drink deeply, knowing full well that if you do you will never return. Breathe �Are you God?� I ask timidly He shrugs dismissively �Are you the devil?� He laughs contemptuously, �No.� �Then who are you?� Breathe �I am death,� I shrink back in fear and he chuckles, �Now don�t be afraid. You�ve met me before, we are old friends.� �Why am I here?� Breathe �Now that is a silly question,� he says kindly, "you�ve thought about me enough times. It looks like this suicide attempt will work.� �But...� Breathe �What, all the previous times were just a cry for help? The slashed wrists, the sleeping pills, even the old head in the oven trick. Did you think you could court me and I�d not come a calling?� Breathe �This time the pills, vodka and bath will surely do the trick." He smiles at me gently and holds out his hand, �Come with me.� �But what about my kids?� Breathe �Don�t you honestly think they would be better off without you? You have used them as crutches to hold your crippled life up for far too long, denying them the chance to be children.� �Come with...� Breathe �I don�t want to die, I want to live. I want things to be better and I can change if I get the chance. Please let me go.� �It�s not up to me,� he sighs Breathe Suddenly the little voice registers. It must be the paramedics trying to resuscitate me. I can have another chance! All I have to do is... Breathe And the tepid water fills my lungs; my body too paralyzed by the drugs to fight. Surrounded by water, I imagine this must be how a baby feels in the womb and surrender. He smiles at me, �Come...� |
| The Moon Earth Side The side you�ll always see no matter how hard you try to get to know and understand me. Waxing, waning; forever changing in your eyes yet remaining essentially the same. Mother, lover, goddess; always perceived as a giver of life, a constant force in the surging tide of existence, an enigma to the uninitiated. You can worship me or curse me but I will always bathe you in the light I borrow from the sun; until the shadows consume me. Then I bear silent witness to the darkness of the world. When you explore me, my cold and harsh exterior deters you from delving deeper. For if I let you see into my core, my essence, the inner me, you will see... The Dark Side Hidden from scrutiny I savor the coldness and stare into the void; where I place all the taunts, the insults, the jokes made at my expense. Craters carefully created; monuments to hatred remain for me to prod at like cavities, decay slowly eating away my polished exterior. Witch, crone and sycophant; betrayer of life is my secret side The sun is not welcome here for if the light was allowed to manifest, I would be naked; at the mercy of others, open to scrutiny and judgment. Would you be my jury and executioner? Throwing wood on the fire for my perceived sins or would you plead my case, protect me, rescue me? I didn�t think so.... |