Beware of transvestite doctors that sing.

As a general rule, don't try to solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.

If you've just finished running over the maniac/spirit/demon/creature in your car, keep going. Most certainly do not get out of the car under any circumstances to see if he/she/it is "really" dead.

If you wake up from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren't awake yet.

Never take a bath or shower with a maniac/spirit/demon/creature in the house.

If relatives or pets come back from the dead, don't approach them and ask "What did you come back to do?"

If plumbing fixtures or other structures in your home begin shaking and spewing body fluids, it's time to leave.

Don't fall asleep if you have a history of homicidal/suicidal nightmares.

Never speak to clowns in sewers.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it is probably deserted for a damn good reason. Take the hint and stay away.

Don't play with ouija boards. If you do and the ouija board starts moving by itself, stop playing and leave.

If supernatural beings start calling your name, leave the area immediately.

Avoid secluded mountain resorts.

If appliances start operating by themselves, you are in danger.

If you are alone in a house and something calls your name, leave the house immediately through whatever exit is in the opposite direction. If there is no exit, make one.

Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your companions start turning up dead, make yourself scarce before someone else does it for you. Worry about funerals later.

When you have the benefit of numbers, never, ever, pair off, or go in alone. The more people the maniac/spirit/demon/creature is distracted by, the better "your" chance of escape.

If the house you're living in tells you to "GO AWAY", do so immediately.

Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, etc.

If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately or else you will quickly die.

When it appears that you have killed the maniac/spirit/demon/creature, DO NOT check to see if he/she/it is really dead. Keep hacking at it until it is in pieces small enough not to be a threat to you. If you've shot at it, shoot it again in the head, and remember, shoot till it stops moving, and then keep shooting till you're out of ammo. Then reload and shoot it some more. Then set it on fire and burn it up. This works with everything except demons and spirits. Then get the hell out of there!