"You can marry more money in five minutes than you can earn in a lifetime."
- A Wise Wise Man

"Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him that a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it."
- Anonymous

"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
- Anonymous

"I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm going right downstairs, unfold the couch, unroll the sleeping ba- uh, goodnight."
- Homer Simpson

"Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life have been without it?"
- Homer Simpson

"Science has already proven the dangers of smoking, alcohol, and Chinese food, but I can still ruin soft drinks for everyone!"
- Lisa Simpson

"I don't know Marge, trying is the first step towards failure."
- Homer Simpson