What did santa say to the three BLONDES?
HO HO HO
Why are Womens Boobs like a childrens Train set?
They were made for kids but the Dad always wants to play with them
Why doesnt Santa have any children?
Cos he only comes once a year and thats down the chimney
Whats the difference between SNOWMEN and SNOWWOMEN
Snow balls
Why do ppl make snowmen instead of snowwomen ?
It takes too long to hollow out the head
John woke up after the office xmas party with a bangin headache unable to remember anything from the night before. After a trip to the bathroom he made his way downstairs where his wife put some coffee in front of him " Louise " he moaned tell me what happened last night was it as bad as I think.
Even worse she said you made a complete ass of yourself. You suceeded in in antagonising the entire board of directors and u insulted the president of the company right to his face.
"Hes an asshole" John said "Piss on him"
"You did" came the reply "and he fired you"
"Well screw him" said John
"I did ur back at work on Monday"
A little Girl is in line to see Santa. She jumps on his lap and says I want a Barbie and a Action Man for crimbo
Santa says Doesnt Barbie usually come with Ken
The Girl replies No she comes with Action Man she fakes it with Ken
10 SIGNS TO SHOW U URE SICK OF THE HOLIDAYS
10. Youve got red and green bags under ur eyes
9. Your eatin Reindeer pot pie
8. When u hear Slegh bells ring are u listnen u reply NO IM NOT FUCKIN LISTNEN
7. You climb on your roof and start shooting carolers with ur BB gun
6. U think u hear the christmas tree taunting u
5. Instead of spendin time with family u sit alone in a dark cupboard rockin back and forth
4. U are arrested for runnin through the town wearin nothin but missletoe
3. Eggnog starts runnin out of your ears
2. Your standard responce is Happy Holidays to u u fat fuckin bastard
1. U (accidently) shoot Santa
Why did bush send women with PMS to iraq?
cause they're mad enough to kill and they retain water.
what's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
you can park in handicapped zones
what does a blonde and butter have in common?
they both spread for bread
A cop see's a car swerving in the road, so he pulls it over and there's a blonde inside. he gives her a breathalyzer test, records it returns to the blonde and goes "i see you've had a few stiff ones" she replies "what it records that too"
What do u call a mexican woman with a low uterus?
cuntswaylo
What's an irishman's idea of a 7 course dinner?
a potato and a 6 pack
How is a redhead like a washing machine?
they both drip when screwed
Why can't blonde's count to 70?
cause 69 is a bit of a mouthful