Oscar: Hey. I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word "bankruptcy" and expect anything to happen.

Michael Scott: I didn't say it. I declared it.

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I Would Shoot Toby Twice

Just pretend that we are talking until the police leave

The worst thing about prison was--was the Dementors

Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. I Just hope I find it along the way

“I saw Wedding Crashers accidentally. I bought a ticket for “Grizzly Man” and went into the wrong theater. After an hour, I figured I was in the wrong theater, but I kept waiting. Cuz that’s the thing about bear attacks… they come when you least expect it.”