New additions in blue
Notes to self:
1.) Wear more black.
2.) Ask for change.
3.) All shirts are black. Find black pants.
4.) Conceal your lethal nickel-hurling skills.
5.) Underwear is optional, but it must be black.
6.) Good ideas come from Lysol.
7.) Hit by bus on dark night. Invest in orange reflectors.
8.) Buy more Lysol.
9.) Remember that bacon tastes of flesh. Tell no one.
10.) Stephen King knows. Silence him.
11.) Humans fear geese. Exploit this.
12.) Geese do not fear humans. Excellent.
13.) Parents cropping allowance because �too damn creepy�. Cut back spending on radioactive lizard development.
14.) Orange reflectors too expensive. Develop forcefield.
15.) Control collars for geese ineffective. Barely escaped with genitals intact.
16.) Radioactive lizards escaped. Ate mother.
17.) Geese ate lizards. Glowing slightly.
18.) Do geese carry rabies?
19.) Invisible girlfriend refuses to accept that it�s over.
20.) Geese carry rabies.
21.) Should it be that color?
22.) Doctor threatened me with big needle. Destroy him.
23.) After the rabies shots.
Part 2
1. Wardrobe attaining critical level of blackness.
2. Closet now eats light.
3. Closet has eaten cat.
4. And my shoes.
5. Invest in black cloak and armor.
6. Punish closet by withholding further pets.
7. Already own armor and cloak, invest in black hellspawned mount, instead.
8. Closet making whimpering noises when it thinks I�m not there.
9. Mount irritable and worries at genitals. SUV sufficiently evil?
10. Closet sends peace offering. Refused. Socks not black.
11. Traded in hellmount for Ford Explorer. Unsure of fairness of trade.
12. Why does the car dealer man keep laughing?
13. Discovered that everybody drives an SUV. Customize?
14. Flaming horns on hubcaps not as intimidating as hoped.
15. And why did he make me sign the contract in blood?
16. Blood not mine, found in fridge in pickle jar.
17. Hm. Investigate what happened to pickles.
18. Gas mileage horrific. Evilness apparent.
19. Other drivers have bigger SUVs. Is their evil greater than mine?
20. Arm severed in power window. Keep as backscratcher?
21. Reattached arm via twine. Invest in knot-tying class.
22. Wear floral prints over black armor today.
23. Just because.