Jess: Hi, this is Jill Patton. I�d like to ask you to participate in a quick three-question survey about major league baseball. If you help us out, you could win a prize!
(um, okay)
Jess: What�s your favorite team?
(he tells her)
Jess: Would you be willing to go to a game on any weekend if you got tickets?
(definitely--he�s a rabid baseball fan.)
Jess: How long have you been a fan of [insert team name here], and will that affect your decision on whether or not you�d be willing to go to a game?
(blah blah blah)
Jess: Congratulations! You�ve just won a lifetime supply of toilet paper, because you�re full of crap! (click--switch to us laughing hysterically, even though it�s really not that funny).
Not the most imaginative thing in the whole world, but give us a break; it�s the maliciousness that counts, not the creativity. As long as I laughed and felt a little better (better enough to put the knife down, anyway), it was all good. And besides, it helped us bond as roommates--we are freshmen, after all. In fact, later I remarked to Jess, �You know, in a way it�s almost a good thing that ---- did the whole �let�s just be friends� thing. Because you and I have gotten so many inside jokes out of it, it more than makes up for it.�
It�s hard to get over the embarrassment of being dissed in a truly spectacular manner, but with the help of my female friends, I�ve managed it. Sure, I still experience moments of blinding hatred whenever I see this boy (we have a class together, unfortunately), but for the most part, I really don�t care. I just think of throwing a muffin at him, or start quoting �and then the dust he bit,� and feel better. Time heals all wounds, but inside jokes help speed the process.