And he says to me "I haven't had a bite in weeks!"
So I bit him!
Oh, but then that started this whoooole thing!
He's all, "AAAAAAAHGODMYARMYOUWHOREYOUBITEOFFMYARM!"
I mean...there was blood EVERYWHERE.
Did you know that it's actually illegal to bite a man on a sunday in a bar that serves Irish mocha latte?
So that brought the cops over...
And I was all like "But officers...I didn't know! You should put up a sign!"
The pointed out to me that there WAS a sign. I had used it to beat the hobo that asked me for a pickle.
No...not a nickle. A Pickle.
I guess he was hungry.
Well, boy, was MY face red!
No, I mean litterally red...when I bit that guy blood went EVERYWHERE, remember?
So I got in the cop car, and they were taking me downtown, and I said "Why do they always call it downtown? Cop stations can't ALWAYS be downtown."
They said it was true. That it was stipulated in the consitution of the united states of america that cop places HAD to be downtown. This was so that the rain would run off properly and not cause flooding.
Of course, I was suspicious, so they wanted to prove it.
So we stopped down by city hall. Now you would think that city hall is downtown, near the cop place, right?
You couln't be wronger...or more wrong...wrongest...wronglyorderhoohapookdoo.
Yeah. So anyway, we had to go uptown. This was because when you say "going downtown" you think of the police. So it was stipulated that uptown had to be cityhall. Of course, that association never stuck.
So we got to city hall.
And when we get there, I whipped off the "no violence in City hall" sign, snuck up behind the cops, and beat them into unconciousness. Then hightailed it out of cityhall.
Of course, I did it slowly and quietly, because I hadn't ripped off the "be quiet" sign. Had to still obey that one.