ELEVATOR LAWS

Hmm, ha, I have noticed on many occasions the behavior of elevator passengers
(check the elevator species page). They tend to follow, humm, unwritten laws of instinct when riding the humble, taken-for-granted elevator...
next time you ride an elevator, observe.....

When you are waiting for an elevator and there are two sets, the one that is the greatest distance from you will open first

While you are riding the elevator, it is not permissable to look anyone in the eyes. The proper place to stare is at the floor, walls, ceiling, doors or number panel

The person at the very back of the elevator will always be the one who needs off first

If you are on the top floor of a 32 storey building and needed to go to the 1st floor, the elevator will stop 31 times before you reach the ground

If you get off on the wrong floor and realise it the instant your foot hits the ground outside the elevator, its much too embarrassing to admit you are wrong, so you stay outside the door and act like you know what you're doing then catch the next one and hope all the people you were with have gotten off

When there are six elevator doors, the one you stand in front of will be the last to open

When the elevator is most full, one of two people will be on with you: an extremely sick man who coughs constantly and then gets off on the same floor you do or a lady with a baby that screams through the entire ride

Don't let off a ripper of a fart in an elevator even if you are alone because when you do, the very next stop will have ten people waiting to get on. It's always best to wait until the elevator is full then poot, then no one will know which idiot dumped into their trousers and thus  whom to blame.

If you speak to a stranger in an elevator (for example, Dr Sky Tower), there will always be nervous laughter. (Or in his case, screams of terror.)

The friendliest person on the elevator that insists on talking to you happens to be Dr Sky Tower who has bad breath and body odour (No, only kidding!!!

Elevators force us to be close to people like Dr Sky Tower whom we would never choose to be around otherwise. If you want a thrilling cultural experience, spend a day riding elevators, with Dr Sky Tower, around town

The first person to get on the elevator gets the 'command position' next to the button panel so that they can feel important when people ask them to push their floor button for them

While waiting for an elevator, there will always be one person to comment on how slow the elevator is and then push the up or down button over and over as if that will make the stupid thing speed up

Once inside the elevator that same person will repeatedly push the button for their floor thinking that this will also speed up the stupid thing

On top of the list of the most annoying elevator pet peeves is the parent who will allow their child to push the buttons and then smile at you after the kid has pushed all 26 buttons while you are on the first floor needing to get to the 25th floor. Then at every floor the kid will yell "Is this where we get off?"

The floor that is labled the 1st floor is not really the 1st floor but is in reality the basement. The 1st floor is actually labled the 2nd floor.  The 2nd floor is the lobby (duuuuhhh!)

If you are not in any hurry, there will always be an empty elevator just waiting with the doors open just for you by yourself

In buildings where smoking is allowed, there will alwasy be one person who insist on taking the last drag off their cigarette, putting it out then waiting to exhale until the elevator doors close with you trapped inside (ahhh! gasp!!)

If a child rides the elevator, they will have a balloon that just happens to be at your face level and there is no place to turn. Popping the balloon is a strong temptation

I would rather ride the elevator with people than take the stairs alone!

AAAIIIGHHHH!!!!

A LIST OF FUNNY THINGS TO DO IN ELEVATORS!!!

Nooo!!! No More Elevator Jokes, Please!!