DR SKY TOWER
LOOKS AT:
'DUMB THINGS PEOPLE DO IN ELEVATORS'

Hohum! Surfing through the Internet I have, hmmm, come across dozens upon dozens of webpages listing the most oddest things to do in elevators! My patients (the elevators, ha,ha!) think half the stooopidist stuff that goes on in their cabs must have originated from these websites, so I shall look at a few in a little more detail.... without simply copying them and pasting them on this page.....

FROM MY ELEVATOR PATIENTS (HO, HO, HO!!)

STAND SILENT AND MOTIONLESS IN THE CORNER, FACING THE CORNER, WITHOUT GETTING OFF.

To the elevator patient, this, hmmmm, looks as though the individual concerned is about to pee, or do something worse. Believe me, its more harrowing to the elevator than its passengers!!!!!

Say 'Ding!' at each floor, even when the lift doesn't stop at those floors.

Would anybody be this pathetic? However, most of my patients are hmmha, deaf to the word ding....

Fart and say 'Yum! Someone's lunch smells good!"

As you leave whack someone on the shoulder, shouting "Tag, you're IT!" and run giggling from the cab.

When you get on, say 'Bridge' or 'Engineering'.

In the elevator say "Race you to the other side" to another passenger.

Push your floor button with your nose, tongue, right buttock cheek or any other bodypart (!!)

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves (duh)

Ride Naked.  Jump rope. Bounce a rubber ball off the walls.

Talk to people about the 'golden age of elevators'  in the 50s.

When someone gets on ask them "Do you go all the way?"when they look
at you strangely say "To the top? Do you go all the way to the top?"

When the elevator goes down instantly test your vertical leap.

Press the emergency bell and shout "All Aboard!"

Slam dance while listening to the  'groooovy' music baby.

As the elevator starts to go up shout "To Infinity and Beyond!"

If someone asks "This elevator goes up or down?" answer "No, this one goes to the left."

Duck walk into the elevator and say "I swore I'd never ride one of these damn things again!"

Leave a box between the doors.

Stare at another passenger for awhile, sniffing them occasionally. Then announce "You're one of THEM!!!" and move to the furtherest corner of the elevator, whimpering.

Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, turn to the button panel and say "Hi, Mike, how's your day been, then?"

Stare at the floor in horror, then start trying to climb up the walls, while hyperventilating with terror. Scream at the top of your lungs - "THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!"

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. Then hand out nametags. And wear Yours upside down.

Elevators, my man!!!

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Ask other passengers if you can push the button for them, but push the wrong ones.

Announce in a demonic voice "I must find a more suitable host body!!"

Make sure no one is on the elevator, and when someone walks in say "Take a Whiff" and smile without laughing.

Ask if anyone knows any elevator songs once the doors close.

ON TO THE NEXT PAGE (NOO!!)