WACKY STORIES FROM DR SKY TOWER'S
INSANE PATIENTS!
Hmm ha. These are based on 'Actual True Life' events of a few of my patients, what I have found rather Humorous!! I ha, hah, take no responsibility for mental injuries received after the reading of these stories.
Read At Your Own Risk....
FINGER LICKIN CRACK..... the She - itiest Story Ever Conceived
Once upon a time there existed a slow witted and dim individual by the name of Shortz who used to work for a little sales company. He worked in the Customer Services Sales department and was very, very adept at selling. The little company wasn't doing all that well sales wise so the sales department only needed 2 sales people and a supervisor. Shortz was one of those sales people and he sat at his desk day in day out selling to the general public.
Well, life started off fine when he started working there. However, as time went by, suspicious events began to surface and Shortz very slowly began to notice a curious transformation in his supervisor Lo. One night Lo had a dream that Shortz dobbed her in to her husband about the 'adulterous secret love affair' she was having with her boyfriend. (who was also married with a wife) Shortz's bleating resulted in total ruination of her personal life! Well, she went to work the next morning and fumed about it all day, giving Shortz the evil eye and a general hard time of it all. She commented to other sales people in the office that she had a dream she was dobbed in by some b*st**d to her husband, and stared directly at Shortz. Luckily, Shortz, being so stooopid, didn't latch on to this so was blisffully unaware of the animosity flared at him. It wasnt until he was heading home on the bus with a workmate that the workmate mentioned it. It made him rather anxious for the rest of the week.
A month went by and the little company moved to another location well out of the city. Little by little, Shortz noticed that Lo's behaviour toward him was changing.... For the worst. Before, he could talk to her about anything! But now, he was really feeling those bad vibes. This is when the MISTAKES DEPT was born!!!!!!!!
Life at work (if you could call it life) had now changed! In the first week at the new location, Lo had a meeting with Shortz and told him he constantly makes mistakes when Shortz, in actual fact, wasn't making any mistakes! This was very much of a concern to Shortz as he always worked his hardest and hadn't made so many mistakes before now.
Things got worse! Now he was selling the wrong products! He sold Over-used when it should've been Under-used! Customers were complaining about wrong orders galore, and Shortz was being blamed for the mistakes the whole department was making as well as his own!!
Things got WORSER! Lo was now showing outright animosity toward Shortz, hauling his skinny a$$ over the slightest mistake - even things like capitals in street addresses! She used 'one-on-one' supervisor / employee meetings with Shortz as an excuse to vent her anger! She told Shortz how hopeless he was at his job! Shortz, meanwhile, surged ahead to make more mistakes!
Things got WORSERER!! Lo dragged Shortz into the spaire office and spent a whole hour screaming insanely at him about how badly products were selling - and it was all Shortz's fault! She told Shortzthat the employer didn't even want him, if it wasn't for her, Shortz would've been out of a job! She told Shortz that he didn't deserve the pay rise for excellence in customer services! Shortz could do nothng except snivel and wimper in the hotseat like a whipped mutt!
WORSEST of all!! Now the animosity toward Shortz was unbearable! It turned out that the reason why Lo was so utterly abusive toward Shortz was because she discovered she was 8 months pregnant with her boyfriend's baby and her husband didn't know about it. She had been trying to lose weight but she was stacking on the pounds, and this was depressing her to the point of suicide. When she found out she was pregnant she nearly had a coronary! So she went to work the next day and kicked the s**t out of Shortz's a$$. (no pun intended)
And the Motto of this story?
BE THE BEST CRACK LICKER IN THE WORLD. IF YOU LICK CRACK, YOU'LL BE LICKING CRACK FOREVER. THAT WAY, NOBODY WILL WHUP YOUR A$$.
This story has earned its Author The Worst Story ever Written. To date, its the worst story I have ever seen published on the Internet..