Human Pet Peeves according to Elevators
One who simply loves the Smell of his own far - Poots. Could very well apply to the Good Doctor Himself!!!
One who loves the smell of other people's poots. He loves to be near a Proud Pooter. No explanation needs to be given. (we hope!)
One who releases silent poots, knows they will cause everyone to leave the room choking, and blushes furiously. Will try to find a quiet, secluded spot to avoid embarrassment, such as empty elevator.
One who thinks his poots are so exceptionable, he must poot consistently and loudly, usually in the company of those he wishes to impress.
One who gleefully poots, and will always have several more poots in reserve, to be discharged at inappropriate times.
One who, by shear will power, will suppress his poots for hours and hours.
Can determine, by the smell of his neighbour's poots, exactly what he ate for lunch.. and breakfast.
One who can't help but poot, but then stops in mid-poot... in fright.
One who must admit he pooted, but offers a medical reason, usually with a big happy (honest) smile on his face.
One who poots with a vengeance, and then blames the dog.
One who will boldy poot out loud, and long, in a most disgusting manner, and then laughs... out loud.
One who tries extra hard to poot...
And POOPS instead.
Will poot loudly and violently in the face of everyone, even the Queen of England. Will then throw fist in air and whoop '"F**K YOU WORLD!!!"
Will fart - oops - poot in bed, and then fluff the covers over his bedmate (his teddy bear). Finishes with a bark of derisive laughter - "Hah! Got you, Wiggy!!"
One who confines all poots to the lavatory, and can do all the above in a single poot.
Will expertly conceal all his poots with loud coughing, newspaper rustling and/or drumming of feet on ground.
HOOOO BOY!!
"USING DNA TESTING FOR QUESTIONS WE REALLY WANT ANSWERED"
LISTEN TO THESE ODD SOUND EFFECTS AND REALLY POOP YOUR PANTS!
