| My Near Death Experience I've always wondered about near death experiences and what they feel like? That was before March 6, 2003. I personally know how it feels and all I can say is once you have been there you really don't want to come back to this cruel cold world that does cause everyone so very much pain! I lost my son Christopher Andrew due to a complete placental abruption on March 6, 2003. We learned of his death three hours before his birth, which was induced because I had severe heavy bleeding for which an c-section would have for sure killed me! My labor was short but it was very painful! About an hour before his birth the doctor had me pushing to get me to dialate the last 2cm and to bring him down into the birth canal. By this time I was doped up on laughing gas and had had two shots of demerol, and was also receiving my second blood transfusion, for which I had two within a one hour period. It was running out of me as quickly as it was going in. With all the drugs and blood loss and the pushing I was getting exhausted and couldn't continue any more! I laid back and said "I just wanna sleep!" , "Take the baby by forceps or vaccuum I can't do this anymore!" And I just laid there and refused to do anymore pushing. Eventually they brought my Mom in thinking that she would be able to help! And at first she didn't she said "You have four beautiful children at home who need you!", but I didn't care. But what got me finally pushing was when my mom who was now crying, because I think she knew the seriousness of my situation and said "C'mon Cynthia, you have four beautiful children who need you! Push for Andrew, Jayda, Breigh, and Sydney!" Do you want to know why that did it! My best friend died when she was 20, she had a two year old who is now with out a mother! A mother he doesn't remember! Sydney who is my youngest is two! And when my mom said her name "Sydney" I thought of my friends little boy and how he doesn't remember "Mommy" And I thought "Oh my God, she wouldn't remember me! My little girl would never remember me and the things we did together" She would only remember me by pictures! And thinking about her my precious two year old I began pucshing. And a few minutes later Christopher was born! Once he was born the placenta and ALOT of blood followed! I know it was alot because I could feel it pooling around my bottom it felt like I was in a puddle! My Mom also said that ther was a blood clot bigger then the placenta sorry about being so graphic. But anyways when the placenta and blood came out my blood pressure dropped to 90/40 and I had the most wonderful feeling! I felt like I was floating,my body felt all tingly from head to toe and I felt cool but yet I wasn't cold, I could hear everyone talking but they seemed like echo's that were getting farther and farther away! I felt at peace, I felt calmness all around me and I even felt love. I remember seeing the nurses massaging my abdomen trying to get my uterus to contract, and I know this hurts like hell because they had to do that with three previous deliveries of mine something about my uterus being boggy. The weird thing is it didn't hurt and I know from experience it does! And also while watching them do this to me I was looking down! I was seeing them do this to me on the delivery table but yet I was above them watching them do this! I felt a sudden surge of I guess I could say love! And it felt like someone behind me I never turned to see I never had the chance because suddenly I felt like I had been pushed. The next thing I know is that I'm looking around the room and I'm back onthe delivery table! My blood pressure was slowly stablizing, the bleeding was under control, and I was now on my third transfusion in less then two hours. And I was about to see and hold my son! By talking to several different people and surfing the internet I came to the conclusion that I had had a near death experience, and that if I had turned I would have seen the light but wouldn't have gone to it because that feeling of being pushed was indeed me being pushed. My destiny was yet to be completed, I was pushed to stay here because my living children needed me. I was pushed by Christopher! Christopher knew that his sisters and brother needed me more then he did. So he pushed me back even though I did not want to be pushed back! But I am now thankful to my little Angel for doing so because my children do need me so. Christopher needs me to but not in the same way as my living children do. This experience has caused me not to think of death as painful or as a struggle but as a friend! The pain was gone before the struggle began, there was no struggle because there was no pain. And by me experiencing what I did I know that Christopher did not struggle! The pain was gone and there was no struggle only peace, calm and love! Click on the Rose to continue to "Telling Our Children" The musical midi playing is "Live To Tell" Click on the flower to download this midi The backgrounds,borders, and buttons were created by mysedf! Please do not take my designs and alter them and then claim them as your own. Each page was created with love in Memory of my son CHRISTOPHER ANDREW CAMERON BORN SLEEPING AND FOREVER SILENT THURSDAY MARCH 6, 2003 ~A Moment In Our Arms, A Lifetime In Our Hearts~ |
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| Cameron Family Web Site |
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