Telling Our Children When we lost our son Christopher in March the one thing that worried me was how to tell my surviving children of his death. Never having been in this situation and knowing no one who has we had to make it and explain it as easy and as simple as possible so as they could understand. Below are some of the questions asked by my children and the answers we tried our best to give. I'm not exactly sure how the kids were told of their brothers death. Dan and his Mother are the ones who told them . I told Dan I wanted the kids to know before he brought them up to the hospital later the next day to see me, so it was left to him to break the heart wrenching news to them When the children came to the hospital to see me they knew of Christopher's death but what caught me off guard was when asked "Where is our baby right now?" Not wanting to explain what a morgue was I simply told them that he was in the basement of the hospital and left it at that. But unfortunately with our four year old she thought this too when I came home and proceeded to tell everyone "Our baby's in the basement!" Needless to say it was very difficult to explain this to someone else while not letting the children know exactly where he was and what it was he was in! And the looks people gave when our daughter told them this, complete shock! When asked by my children where Christopher is now that he died I tried to make it magical I guess for them. I told them during the day Christopher is up in the sky sitting on a cloud watching and taking care of us, and during the night he is a star twinkling in the night sky! The response my son had was "WOW! He sure is busy when does he sleep?" I just had to chuckle with this. So I told my son when Christopher knows everyone is safe and sound in their beds and sleeping that is when he sleeps because he knows no harm will come to us. I remember one night we were coming home from Walmart and it was dark out, all of a sudden my son screams at the top of his lungs "Mommy! Look there's Christopher! He's a star and look he's waving at us by twinkling" it was the only star in the sky.Then all my children proceeded to say "hello Christopher, we miss you and love you!" It was such a touching moment when I heard my children saying hello to their baby brother! But what was really touching was when another star appeared right beside the star they called Christopher it looked like they were touching. Andrew then says "Mommy look! It's Grandpa Green and he's holding Christopher's hand" Hearing Andrew say this brought me to tears My Granfather had passed away in 1994 due to lung cancer. And it was amazing that Andrew even thought that Grandpa was with him and taking care of him. The night of the viewing which we took the children too was kinda uncomfortable the children were able to see him and touch him which is what I wanted. They needed closure to. They needed to see this baby brother and say their goodbyes to him also. When the the viewing was over and we arrived home the children asked why he was so cold? I knew this was coming because I saw the shocked looks on their faces when they each gave him a kiss. The only things that popped into my head was a freezer and the word cold storage, That sounds so horrible but it was the truth but I did not tell the children why exactly he was so cold. I told them that when somebody dies their blood stops moving through their body and that is what keeps us warm. I don't know if this was a good answer but it was better then what originally popped into my head. I am so proud of my children with how they reacted to the death of their baby brother! And of how they remember him as being a cloud to say hello to during the day or a star twinkling in the sky that they say goodnight to. They have all handled the loss extremely well and I am so glad they are doing so good because I know it could be alot worse for them. Click on the Flowers to continue to "Christopher's Funeral" The musical midi being played is "Everything I Do" Click on the flowers to download this midi The button. backgrounds, and borders on this site were created by myself! Please do not take and alter them and claim them as your own! These designs were created in Loving Memory of my son CHRISTOPHER ANDREW CAMERON BORN SLEEPING AND FOREVER SILENT THURSDAY MARCH 6, 2003 ~A Moment In Our Arms, A Lifetime In Our Hearts~ |
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