Good communication skills
Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
Warmly affectionate and affirming
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Strive for "win-win" situations
Driven to meet other's needs
Usually loyal and dedicated
Tendency to be smothering
Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Don't pay attention to their own needs
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for me. The first problem is that I have had problems leaving bad relationships. I guess I tend to internalize any problems and take them on my own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is my own responsibility. As somewhat of a perfectionist, I don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after I should have left. When I have left the relationship, for a while, I believe that the failure was my fault, and that there was surely something I could have done to save the relationship.
Since relationships are central to my life, I am usually "hands on" and involved with my intimate relationships. I do have a habit of communicating my feelings in a relationship, also asking my partner how he is doing, what he is feeling, etc.... This behavior may seem a bit smothering, but it also supports a strong awareness of the health (or illness) of the relationship. I like to know where I stand in a relationship.
I need to be given positive assurance and affirmation. I have been known to "go fishing" for compliments. I like to hear from my partner that I am loved and valued, (I mean, who doesn't) and I am willing and eager to return the favor. I also enjoy lavishing love and affection on my partner, and I am creative and energetic in my efforts to please. I get a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so I am generally determined to please and serve my partner.
A problem area for me in relationships is my dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. I am a type person who believes that any form of criticism is a stab at my character, which is very difficult for me to handle. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to me. I have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. I am also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. I sometimes might agree to something which goes against my opinion just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. I am working on the fact that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. I also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against my character. Generally, I am a warm and affirming person who is very interested and able to have an intense, meaningful, close relationship with my mate.
My children generally feel loved, because I give them plenty of genuine warmth and support. I value my children as individuals, allowing them room for growth. My enthusiasm and affection may at times seem smothering to my children. This is especially true for children with strong Thinking or Sensing preferences, and will feel at times embarrassed by my enthusiasm and tendency to display my affection publicly.
I am able to take care of day-to-day necessities, such as picking children up at the correct times, getting them to baseball practice, getting them fed, etc.... I also has a difficult time disciplining my children, unless a very strongly-held value has been violated.
I have a rich imagination and creativity which creates a fun, dynamic and exciting environment for kids. My strong value system turns experiences into meaningful lessons for their children. I know I will be valued by my children for my warm, affirming natures, and my fun-loving approach to living.
In the workplace or other casual relationship environments, I am likely to get along well with almost all other types of people. I am genuinely interested in people, and are highly perceptive about them, to the point where I am able to understand and relate to all of the personality types with relative ease. I like to see the best in others, and am most likely to bring out the best in others. While I am generally accepting of most all people, I have strong Feeling preferences may have a difficult time understanding people with very strong Thinking preferences who do not respond to the my enthusiastic warmth. I usually will stay open-minded about what I consider a "rejection" by the Thinker, until the situation has repeated itself a few times, in which case the I may shut myself entirely out, against them.
I may also feel threatened by individuals who like to Judge other people. I have a hard time taking criticism personally, and may get irritated or emotional when a Judger expresses a negative opinion, in believing somehow that the Judger is expressing disapproval or disappointment in me.
For close friendships, I am especially drawn to other iNtuitive Feeling type people, and to other people who are also enthusiastic about life. Like the other iNtuitive Feeling type people, I need authenticity and depth in my close relationships. I am likely to have friends from all walks of life who I feel close to and care about, but will have only a few very close friends with similar ideals to my own.
