• Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
• Wear Heavy Boots. You can't kick things when you're wearin' sneakers
• NEVER argue with a woman holding a torque wrench
• If you're a complainer, ride at the back of the pack so you won't contaminate the rest of the group.
• Never try to race an old Geezer, he may have one more gear than you.
• The size of the PISTON don't tell you nothin' about the DEPTH of the stroke.
• Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.
• You'll get farther down the road if you learn to use more than two fingers on the front brake.
• Routine maintenance should never be neglected.
• It takes more love to share the saddle than it does to share the bed.
• The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
• Never be afraid to slow down.
• Only Bikers understand why dogs love to stick their heads out car windows.
• Bikes don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
• Never ask a biker for directions if you're in a hurry to get there.
• If it take more than 3 bolts to hold it on, it's probably crucial.
• Anything that shows up on more than 2 bikes is a FAD.
• Remember that you will be judged by the Horse you rode in on.
• Don't ride so late into the night that you sleep through the sunrise.
• Pie and Coffee are as important as gasoline.
• The number of kicks it takes to start your bike is directly proportional to the number of spectators.
• Never ask your bike to scream before her throat is good and warm.
• Sometimes it takes a whole tankful of gas before you can think straight.
• If you want to get a job, you may have to compromise your principals. You may even have to shave.
• Riding faster than everyone else only guarantees you'll ride alone.
• Never hesitate to ride past the last street light at the edge of town.
• Never mistake Horsepower for staying power.
• A good rider has balance, judgement, and good timing. So does a good lover.
• A cold hamburger can be reheated quite nicely by strapping it to an exhaust pipe and riding forty miles.
• Never do less then Forty miles before breakfast.
• If you don't ride in the rain-you don't ride.
• A bike on the road is worth 2 in the shop.
• Respect the person who has seen the Dark side of motorcycling and lived.
• Young riders pick a destination and go... Old riders pick a direction and go.
• Overconfidence can be supplied by spare spark plugs, a set of wrenches, and a roll of toilet paper.
• Never offer to fight an OLD geezer. If you win, there's NO glory. If you Lose, your reputation is shot.
• A good wrench will let you watch without charging you for it.
• Advice is free and worth every penny.
• Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
• Always back your scoot into the curb-and sit where you can see it.
• Work to ride-Ride to work.
• Whatever it is, its better in the wind.
• Two lane blacktop isnt a highway-its an attitude.
• When you look down the road, it seems to never end-but you better believe it does.
• A biker can smell a party 5,000 miles away.
• Winter is Natures way of telling you to polish.
• A motorcycle can't sing on the streets of a city.
• Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.
• People are like Motorcycles: each is customized a bit differently.
• More races were won in the tavern than on the track.
• Never loan your bike to someone else, and never ride another's.
• If the bike ain't braking properly, you don't start by rebuilding the engine.
• Motorcycling is a giant game of Mines Bigger than yours!
• Remember to pay as much attention to your partner as you do your carburetor.
• Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on seperate bikes.
• Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
• Good coffee should be indistinquishable from 50 weight motor oil.
• The best alarm clock is sunshine on Chrome.
• Learn to do counterintuitive things that may someday save your butt.
• The twisties-not the superslabs-seperate the bikers from the squids.
• Beware the biker whose ink peels off.
• New leather don't smell right.
• When you're riding lead--don't spit.
• If you really want to know what's going on, watch whats happening at least 5 cars ahead.
• Don't make a reputation you'll have to live down or run away from later.
• If the person in the next lane at the stoplight rolls up the window and locks the door, support their view of life by snarling at them.
• Smoke and grease can hide a multitude of errors, but only for so long.
• A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere to get you when you're broken down.
• If she changes her oil more than she changes her mind--follow her.
• The thicker your oil, the hotter you can take it.
• Catchin a June bug @ 70 mph can double your vocabulary.
• If you want to get somewhere before sundown, you can't stop at every tavern.
• Theres something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
• You can always hear a classic open primary-it sounds like $1.34 in change is loose in the friction plates.
• Hunger can make even roadkill taste good.
• You gotta be smart enough to understand the rules of motorcycling, and dumb enough to think the games important.
• Don't lead the pack if you don't know where you're goin'.
• If you leave without one of your group, you better hope he doesn't catch up at the next stop.
• Sleep with one arm thru the spokes and keep your pants on.
• Practice wrenching on your own bike.
• Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't.
• Three things can't be trusted: a fart, a cook, and a rear view mirror.
• Beware the biker who says the bike never breaks down.
• Some bikes run on 99-octane ego.
• Owning 2 bikes is useful because at least one can be raided for parts at any given time.
• You'll know she loves you if she offers to let you ride her bike. Don't do it and she'll love you even more.
• Don't argue with an 18-wheeler.
• Don't lean on the horn 'til you're out of danger. Then blast it for all you're worth.
• Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit.
• Maintenance is as much art as it is science.
• A good long ride can clear your mind, restore your faith, and use up a lot of gasoline.
• If the countryside seems boring, stop, get off your bike, and go sit in the ditch long enough to appreciate what was here before the asphalt came.
• If you can't get it goin with bungee cords and electricians tape-it's serious.
• If you ride like there's no tomorrow-there won't be.
• Bikes parked out front mean good chicken-fried steak inside.
• If you want to complain about the pace being set by the road captain, you better be prepared to lead the group yourself.
• Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.
• There are drunk bikers. There are old bikers. there are NO old, drunk bikers.
• We don't need no stinkin' weekend warriors.
• Thin leather looks good in the bar, but it won't save you from "road rash" if you go down.
• The best modifications cannot be seen from the outside.
• Always replace the cheapest parts first.
• You can forget what you do for a livin when your knees are in the breeze.
• No matter what make you ride, it's all the same wind.
• It takes both pistons and cylinders to make a bike run. One is not more important than the other.

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