The men with fins ate Father, Mother, and I am all by myself. I only know the water as home, we lived on a big boat for as long as I could remember, but Father said since times were hard, let's sell the big boat, and buy Mother some jewels, and a little boat to get around in. He named the new boat Jewel. Father had lots of money and wanted us to stop going from land to land, he was going to buy us a keep on the Island he'd heard about, I guess this Island I'm on now. Mother said we needed roots, as her belly was getting bigger and that one child maybe could live on a ship but not two, I guess that meant there was a baby in there. I don't know. I do know that all we were doing was sailing and I was taking a nap, then I heard screaming and men with fins were on board. I screamed too.
Father ordered me to go back down below but I continued to scream and scream as the biggest of the men with the fins ate Mother up. Father tried to slash them with his big knife but it didn't do any good. I was too little to fill them up I guess, one looked at me with his dead black eyes and then went to help his friends break our boat up.
I ran to Father, I couldn't leave him and I couldn't be alone. I ran into his arms then realized he had no bottom half. The men with the fins cut him in two, but Father was still with us, not in the sky. He gave me a dagger and kissed my forehead and mumbled a prayer then slipped into the water. And the men with the fins swam away.
I hung on to a piece of the boat and floated around. Got so thirsty and tired and my face is burnt from the sun. I washed up on the beach last night and saw a hall or something with a big half circle roof, and so I went in. Oh the things I saw! I don't understand lots of it, I'm only a kid, but a nice lady gave me clean clothes and helped me wash, and a dragon was nice too. A lady with a pretty necklace sang me a song and I fell asleep, but later I got hungry and there was no food around, only a mean looking lady with a beard (Sheri) sweeping the floor and clearing tables. I was scared to ask her for anything, plus I didn't have any money to buy anything.
So I wandered out and found this street of shops, I snuck into one that makes cakes and stole some cookies, and the lady was bending down not facing me, taking things out of her oven. I don't think she'll miss the cookies.
Well, I don't know what I'm going to do now. Maybe one of Father's friends, we didn't have any other family but had friends in every port, will get this letter, because I don't think I can live all alone. I don't have anything except these clothes the lady gave me. I'm cold and still hungry. Someone please come get me.
Even the men with the fins, I don't care, somebody come and get me, I want my Mother.
Charis (26 May)
*folds the note up and puts it in the bottle, then tosses the bottle in the lagoon, hoping someone finds it and recognizes her name*
~smiles, offering Sirra a hug before the bardess vanishes into the small bedroom for the night. Denies that her hands are shaking as she bids her goodnight. She's glad to have Sirra's friendship back. She sits down to write before retiring herself~
I've often wondered at how many look at me. They watch me with veiled scorn, with sighs of disappointment, shaking their heads at my actions. They judge me, I can see that they do. But they never stop to ask me why I do the things I do, why I react the way I react, why I turn my back, and lust for blood now and then. Why I pretend life is good, and smile and laugh everything off when my world is falling down around my ears. And why my relationships work as they do.
It bothers me. They don't know what's inside my head. Everything I do has a cause, a reason, if they would only stop to bloody well ask me before turning their accusing eyes my way. They have no right to look at me like that, to judge me when they don't even know how I've lived my life. Why am I expected to be perfect? What makes them think I have to be this flawless being? I am very flawed, and I've learned to live with that, now others have to learn to accept it. What goes on in my life is MY business, and others can keep their fingers out of it.
And lastly, despite what anyone says, I do love Alterio. I just can't stand for some of the things he does. You don't have to like everything about a person to love them. They don't understand that. I'm allowed to be angry with him, allowed to demand answers, just as he's allowed the same. It doesn't mean I love any less. I want to know what he wants.
Next time I get one of those looks, those accusing glares, those sighs, I'm going to snap. They'd better learn to ask, to find out WHY instead of assuming. Torlin was right... --Journal Entry, 26 May, Jane Maichen
I dont know whats going on. Alterio told me last night he moved a bed into his office at 'Dome and thats where he has been spending his nights. He also told me i shouldnt stay at the -kids prison- , which is what he calls the orphanage. He told me i could sleep in his office. I said fine, i will sleep there with him then. So we slept in his office last night. I fell asleep with his arms around me and when i awoke they were still around me. I think thats the first night ive actually slept in weeks. Today i heard Jane talking to Teiyah. It seems Jane has moved out of the mansion back to her cottage. I dont know If Alterio even knows this or not. If he does, he hasnt mentioned it. Alterio still wants a child. I told him I would take Charis and take care of her. He doesnt want me to do that. He was going to have the guard put her on a ship back to the mainland. I managed to get her taken to the orphanage instead. Today I sent her some clothes from the shoppe. She has nothing but what she washed ashore with. She will be ok there and I can go check on her and see if she needs anything.
Alterio is off doing his knightly stuff that he does. So Ive been keeping busy today writing. I wrote a story based on what he told me the other day about his life. I will let him read it soon i think. It still needs work though. If he approves i may get it published in the paper. Im not sure if i want to publish it or just hold on to it. I wrote a poem also, and sent runner to the Sandpaper office with it today. I dont know if they will like it enough to publish it or not.
Getting tired of writing for today, so I think I will go to 'dome in a little bit. I know Alterio wont be in til late tonight. God I miss him so much. "thinking back to last night she shakes her head" I wonder what Jane was going to talk to him about. Whatever it was, had to be postponed as he got called away suddenly. Well, I guess we will know soon enough what it was.
"lays the quill down and gets up waiting a moment for the ink to dry before she closes the journal"
Journal Entry, 27 May, Vixen Blade.
I've had nightmares for years, ever since Harold fell at Senlac. But those were nothing to the ones I have had since I heard Mags was to die by order of the Prince of Masks in the City of Forever Twilight.
I've seen Mags die a thousand times or more, woken up screaming and sweating. I will never lose those memories, but it was only last night I realized they are part of My life, not Mags'. She has no knowledge of her death, it never happened.
We fought the night before last, bared steel and flowing blood, she might have killed me, but she couldn't. If truth be known I'd sooner have let her kill me than been able to kill her.
Last night I made a joke about Teiyah and Nun, she hit me, and Mags challenged her. I was ready to kill Teiyah. She and Mags fought and Tei hurt Mags. I ended up apologizing to Teiyah, not because I wanted to, but for Mags. Some day I may have to fight Tei, but that's for another day. Last night was wonderful. I slept under the same roof as Mags for the first time in years. When I woke in the night I could hear her breathing. Her gentle regular breathing was music to my ears and calmed me. I had No nightmares at all.
If she'll have me I think I'll stay in this spare room for more than just one night.
Human fire and elven grace,
wearing leathers more than lace,
She's granted me another start,
This woman in truth owns my heart.
Though we've spent much time in strife,
She remains the centre of my life.
*lays his quill down as he prepares for the day.
--Journal Entry, 27 May, Halfdan the Black.
(Two entries from Jasmin, night and morning.)
as I was dressing for sleep last eve I heard noises coming from my masters private rooms thinking that he may have returned and may need something I went to check I was stopped by the guards but told them I was going to speak with the master and they let me pass I heard something like someone moving about the room but when I knocked no one answered tho I knocked several times... I returned to my room not thinking more about it till I over heard Lady Vixen say he slept in the office last eve. when I mentioned the noises i heard Lady Ali wanted to go to the manor and see what was going on she asked me and dan and vixen to go aswell we found my masters room comepletly ransaked. I must tell my master and am afraid he will be angry I thought it was him I thought it was him....
Journal Entry, 27 May, Jasmin Rose{AC}
:: sits quietly in her room she can not sleep each small noise makes her jump she sits at the small table and takes out her diary and begins to write::
I have not seen my master in many days, I know not if he knows of the ones who entered his private rooms I am assured that Lady Ali and Lady Vixen will let him know of my worries.. I am so afraid in this big manor alone with none but the guards and the staff.
The maids treat me as if I am trash or just something to be tolarated till my master grows tired of me.
I have made sure I have in no way have done anything that anyone could report to my master as unbecoming of one he owns.. I stay near halfdan as I was instructed to do and I do not speak to any I do not know.
I was so happy to hear of halfdan and lady mags making up and perhaps they can now let go of the past and go on to become happy once more. I walk among the shops from time to time but I do not enter any i have taken to going on long walks and just enjoying the beauty of the island. I am trully happy to be once more in service to my master.
I sometimes sit in the dome and watch the couples and wonder if someday my master will allow me to have a mate or appoint me one I know not the ways of the people here very well. On the mainland I recall My old master appointing mates for some of his slaves so as they would have children that he would also own and he would raise them to serve him.
I allways think of my training when I am alone and reminding myself how afraid and alone I felt when my master turned me out I hope this will make me a good and faithful slave to my master.
I will wait for his orders upon what if any chores or tasks I am to see to, I am still a bit confused with the many happenings that have gone on since my arrival the people here including my master are so kind and I am treated mostly as an equal which I find strange for I am but a slave a piece of property I will follow my masters orders no matter what they be if he wishes me to scrub his floors it shall be done if he says I am kneel at his bed side all night It shall be done if he says I am to sleep on the streets it shall be done. But I do not see anyone on this island including the other slaves I have but seen a few. But no one is aware or seems not to be of just how devoted and loyal a trully well trained slave can be.
:: hears a soft thumping noise and realizes the guards are making there rounds she sighs softly::
I suppos I should lay down and try to sleep tho I know I can not I hate to admit it to even my self but I am afraid for if someone can get into my masters rooms undetected can they not get into mine ..........
Journal Entry, 28 May, Jasmin Rose{AC}
I sent a runner with a note letting Alterio know about the noises at his manor. And what we found when we arrived there to check it out. I havent received any word back as of yet. I think Alterio is due back some time this night. He has been gone for two days doing his knightly duty on the other side of the Island. God How I miss him. The office was so lonely last night without him there to hold me til i fell asleep. I dont think i slept much at all. I did some writing last night and finished a couple of poems. I saw the paper earlier and saw they printed both of the poems. I have some notes scribbled down for some others.
"shakes her head thinking of last eve at 'Dome." I cant believe Pheo said that. We have known each other forever it seems like. Been through a lot over the years. But now he says he loves me....He says I had always been so un-atainable to him. I guess I always was. I told him I was involved during all this time.. But it had to be kept secret and now..well I guess everyone knows about me being Alterio's mistress all this time. Ive been in and out of his life since the first time i saw him.. Yes, i saw others off and on but it never lasted long. Couple days , some times a week, then it was over. They just werent Alerio. He has been my life and no one can replace him in my heart. I still dont think he knows Jane has moved back to her cottage. I wonder how he is going to take that. Will he try to get her to move back to the manor? Did she do this to try to force him to choose her over me? Questions, I have no answers to.
I guess those answers will come when Alterio gets back..I know how tired he will be, I just hope and pray he doesnt have to argue with Jane again.. He doesnt really need that.
Last night Charis -took- a boat from the dock and drifted out a ways. I asked Nun, since he can fly, to go out and look for her. He found her asleep and brought her back. We placed her on the couch in my office, so I wasnt really all alone last night. I checked on her several times during the night. She was sleeping so peacefully. But she left some time early this morning. I hope she is alright. This Island isnt safe for a 7 year old girl to be roaming around on all alone.
"sighs as she glances out the window thinking about Alterio, she whispers ~Hurry back safely my love~....she lays the quill down and closes the journal as she gets up and walks out of his office closeing the door and locking it behind her"
Journal Entry, 28 May, Vixen Blade