contact me

Do you have something you want to say? Have a cheer, jeer, or sneer? This is your place to sound off. First though, some ground rules:

• Editors who wish to republish a story will be given first priority. Please state you want the rights to which story in the subject line. Editors offering money will be given first dibs.
  
  
• All proposals of marriage will be seriously considered, even if only for a nanosecond. Those I deem most interesting I will give an offline address where to send a picture.



• Those sending naked pictures will have them sold to the highest bidding dirty website. And yes, a baloney sandwich will be considered an acceptable opening bid.



• All requests to have my baby will be summarily ignored. Repeated violators will have the Crypt Keeper sicced on them.



• Editors either proposing marriage or asking to have my baby will result in a call to Western State.



• Letter writers who sass the author risk getting a response in kind.



• Hate-death mail will be eaten, or held up for public scorn and ridicule at my pleasure.

Everybody clear on the rules? Then say what you feel!