Tonight, me and my mom were downtown around the Quik Check, Video store and chinese resturant...The plan was to get dinner and some movies, which we did. But while my mom was across the street getting the food, I was on the other side of the street at the video store.
It was dark and drizzly. I looked up and saw a man, imediatly I turned my face forward and let my hair hide my eyes. I wasn't completly sure if it was him or not. I walked casually into the video store, which was oddly...empty. I couldn't even see an employee. I felt sooo scared. I looked behind me to the door to see if anyone had followed me. Nope. I looked around a little until I saw one of the employees in the Sci-Fi section. I felt a little relief. I grabbed two movies and waited for my mom to come into the store. When she did, you could tell she was PISSED!
I whispered to her, "was that Jorge out there?"
And she replied back in a very angry voice, "Yea, it was. Dumb mother f***er."
"Did you say anything to him??"
"Yea, I told him that if he ever touched my daughter again that I'd call the police and have him sent to jail."
"Mom, why didn't you just ignore him??" I was shaking worse that usual.
My mom and I paid for the videos and I slowly walked out the door. My mom told me to not be afraid, that he would never hurt me again, and if he did she'd run him over. Jorge wasn't were he was...Now he was on the other side of the parking lot. My mom pulled out really fast and stopped by him and screamed, "If you come anywhere NEAR my kid I will call the police SO fast!" Then Jorge tried to say something to me but my mom cut him off. "Don't you talk to her, don't even LOOK at her!" Then we drove off. Back home. For the past few hours I keep thinking that he's going to show up at my door or something.
You see, Jorge molested me when I was 12. He moved away from my town a few weeks after it, and I thought he was out of the state. I haven't thought about him much in the past year of so. But seeing him tonight was very uncomfortable. I didn't even tell my mom about what he did until a year ago. After I told her, I felt sooo much better. Keeping secrets is hard, and is very damaging to a relationship. I felt so relieved that my mom wasn't angry with me for not telling her sooner. (I still wish she just ignored him when she saw him tonight...)
I am angry at myself though for not calling the police the DAY he molested me. Now it's been three years, and God knows if he's hurt someone else. I hope not. But if he did, I can't help but feel responsible for those children's painful fears, memories, nightmare's, and tears. Because I was afraid of what people might think of me, knowing that I put myself in a situation were a 47 year old man touched me! At the time I felt it was all my fault, and that I was stupid, that I should have seen it coming. But I was wrong. He was the adult, a disgusting "man" who shouldn't have done what he did.
I can't believe I saw him agian...
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Note: Don't do what I did, if you were or are being abused in any way, tell someone you know you can trust. Example, a parent, teacher, or counseler. Don't be afraid. If you know what someone is doing to you is wrong, don't let it happen anymore, and don't let them do it to anyone else. I know it's scared and difficult, I've had sooo many secrets for a long time, but when you finally let them go, you feel so much better.
Be safe xx
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