Isisbirthstory

Isis's Birth Story-January 11, 2001

On January 11th, 2001, we had Isis Alexandria. She was definitely an early arrival. In fact Dad and I had just gone to the doc�s for a routine visit. Nothing has been routine with this pregnancy, so what were we thinking? I had said something to the extent of not wanting to go to the doc�s office for fear of being held hostage, and that is just what happened. We went in for a visit on the ninth and they said my amniotic fluid was at one. This is a very low number. The lowest acceptable is five. So they wanted to deliver the baby by cesarean that day� I was horrified. I was so scared. I was thinking up anything to try and stretch out the pregnancy even a few days longer. On the ninth she was two days shy of 33weeks, according to their estimation, so I started in about steroids. The docs agreed that it certainly wouldn�t hurt to have another shot of steroids on board. (I had my first shot when I was hospitalized in November.) This time around they started me on fluids and antibiotics and my nerves became severely impaired. By Wednesday night I was terrified, fortunately my friends really came through for me. Michelle called from Wisconsin and Anna-Lee called from Vancouver, and then Anna-Lee tracked down Michele from Washington for me. That was really special to be able to talk to my best friend. She couldn�t believe that I was pregnant again much less about to have a baby.
They watched me for two days and decided that although I felt it was too early, it was just too risky to have the baby inside of me with the fluid so low (even though baby was showing no signs of distressL). I was on my way to an operating room for the first time in my life. After much deliberation (actually frantic indecision) with the anesthesiologist I decided on a spinal since I am such a baby when it comes to pain. I didn�t want to feel anything. It was pretty awful having them put that needle in my back, but soon I was holding Wayne�s hand and feeling very little, except uncomfortable due to being on a operating table and feeling like I couldn�t breathe at times. Of course we were holding our breath anyway waiting for news of our new baby. The worst part was when I had to throw up and didn�t know that was what I needed to do! Horribly strange feeling. Shortly they were announcing we had a baby girl! I was not surprised; in fact I was glad, as girls are known to fair better when born early. Wayne says all of this was pretty horrible as they were pumping me full of morphine to keep my vitals stable and he was really worried due to my addictive nature, if he only knew what was to come laterL.
It seemed like forever but Isis was born. It was 10:30 on a Thursday morning; Cosie, her sister, was born on a Thursday also. Isis was 4lbs. 15oz., and 17 1/2in. long. She was wailing shortly after she came out and I started to cry, it was music to my ears to hear her screaming her little lungs out, as we had been told she may not cry (although she was expected too.) Screaming is an overstatement; she sounded like a weak little kitten mewling softly. They didn�t hold her up for me to see her so all I could do was listen, Wayne relayed little reports about her. At first he said she didn�t look that tiny, then he went and cut the umbilical cord and took back that statement. She was very small. But as they wheeled her out to the NICU, they stopped for mere moments so I could have my first glance at my new daughter. I said she looks like her sister, and Wayne said
�Look at all that hair!� Then they were off with her. Soon they were sewing me up and I was so grateful for Wayne�s support because that was icky.   Having a baby and then not being able to touch her or hold her was very unsettling. I felt so odd, both of us knew something was wrong. Wayne later said he knew something was wrong from the moment he came into the hospital and got trapped in the elevator.
They wheeled me in to the recovery room and as I was telling the anesthesiologist how grateful I was to him for walking me through something so scary, I suddenly realized I wouldn�t be getting rid of him so soon. I told Wayne he needed to go and get something to eat, knowing full well that he wouldn�t unless I told him too. I felt really faint for a moment and remember my nurse Rene yelling in my face to wake me up. The doc�s were soon around me telling me that they had to take me back into the OR to do a D&C, I was bleeding out. I remember the anesthesiologist calling for two units of blood STAT and I knew things were going south. I remember all the docs looking very concerned and then they were starting a central line, I could see them doing it, but didn�t feel it. That seemed weird. Before Wayne left he said I looked very pale, I was beginning to hemorrhage and didn�t even know it. Couldn�t feel it. When the anesthesiologist who had been so calm through my cesarean called in another anesthesiologist for help I was thinking that things were not looking good. They asked me where Wayne was and I said he went to get something to eat. They told me that they might have to remove my uterus as the bleeding could not be stopped and I agreed for them to do whatever necessary. Next thing I knew the mask was over my face and I was thinking that I might never wake up. I was worried as Dr. Kaufman was in the OR and I knew he was the only other doc on the floor, I knew my situation must be dire.
When I awoke my first memory was of Wayne holding my hand while I was being wheeled into an elevator. Turns out they were wheeling me to the ICU. I had been in surgery close to five hours, this being after the birth of our daughter. Wayne had not seen me the entire time and had been left to wonder as to what was going on. Occasionally a RN would tell him things were serious but the doc�s just kept saying another 15 min. I don�t remember much after that. When I became aware a couple of hours later I was informed that they did have to perform a partial hysterectomy and that they ended up doing three surgeries due to a mistake by the counter that involved a sponge being left inside of me. I was in the ICU and my parents showed up after saying there was no way they would be able to make it out, this was another indication to me that my life was likely in danger (you�d have to know my parentsJ). I was told Michelle and Debbie watched over Wayne while I was going through all of this which was very comforting.   It made me crazy later to think he had to try to deal with this alone. By the time I started coming out of some of the fog, I was told that my daughter was on a respirator because she needed help breathing. This was a point of great distress for me because I was unable to go and see her, or hold her and comfort her. My dad had brought his video camera and they said they would take video of her for me to see. Well I didn�t get to see video of her that night, but the nurses at ICU did get a couple of photo�s taken of her so I could see what she looked like. She didn�t look too great, and the picture was blurry from all the heat lamps. Tubes everywhere. It was hard to make out her features and I was pissed that I didn�t get to see video of her. I believe now that my family was looking out for me. Trying not to stress me out even more, although it did just that. Friday night was the first time I got to see her. I think my nurse got sick of me bellyaching over not seeing her and put me in a wheelchair and took me down. By this time she was already off the respirator and just had a little O2 going into her nose, along with all the other tubes. They had given her surfactant and it had worked. God was really looking out for us. Although my blood count was low and my platelets were lower, both my daughter and I were getting better. The first thing I asked was if I could hold her. I was delighted and terrified when the nurse said I could.   She kept turning her tiny face toward my chest, but she wasn�t allowed to nurse yet, I still had all the drugs in me from the operation. After the initial visit I started seeing her everyday. I knew if I got away with it once no one would try to stop me from seeing her again. Unfortunately I was alone with the nurses for that first visit, and I barely remember a thing. I was very frightened for this little person; she looked very tired and ill.
It seemed like I was in the ICU forever, I believe that was because of all the drugs I was on. It also seemed like it was dark the whole time I was there. I remember people coming to visit me and looking very scared. I was scared also, but felt as though I needed to reassure them. That must have been the drugs as well. Later as I was told what happened I was more scared than when it actually was happening. Late Saturday night I was moved to the progressive care unit (a step in the right direction), Debbie showed up and hung out for a bit, waiting to see Isis. Those nurses take forever doing any little thing! Being told all day I would be moved didn�t help my attitude. It was a little better there, but not much. And eventually a nurse did take me to see my daughter. On Sunday night I was finally moved down to the mother/ baby unit. Right down the hall from my little girl. I was still hooked up to the pain medications and monitors for three more days. Wednesday is when they finally got my platelets working correctly and I decided that I was going to make it through this mess. Wednesday was a big day, I got my central line out and my stitches, I was starting to feel ready to go home. The kicker was when I found out they were thinking of sending Isis home as well. She had some tests she had to pass, a pneomogram, a car seat check to see if she would breathe properly while she was sitting up. Little things as she had already passed the major hurdles. She was nursing like a champ, maintaining her body heat, and her oxygen levels were perfect.   It was so encouraging to think we might get to go home together. I guess the fact that I had lived in the NICU nursing her, had helped also. Even though some of the nurses didn�t make it very easy! She had to gain weight also, which she did starting Tuesday night (about the time she started receiving mostly breastmilk). Wayne and I both commented on this, as did our favorite nurse. I truly believe she is a miracle baby. And how Wayne survived the time I was having the three surgeries I will never know. They continually told him it would be fifteen more minutes as first they took out my uterus (leaving my cervix), and then took out the sponge they absently left behind. I was told the surgery to remove my uterus needed four units of blood and the surgery for the sponge needed five. This concerns me as I have been told that they had said I was doing great after the partial hysterectomy and then I had to go to the ICU for almost three days following the sponge incident. It was upsetting to find out that they let no one know what was going on during this time period. But in the end it worked out! Remembering the feeling that Thursday night when Debbie came to pick me up with my teensy tiny little bean of a girl, and the feelings that went through me as we drove the familiar route home. The last time I had taken that route I had been holding my breath hoping that I wouldn�t lose my daughter. This was standard routine for a mom with placenta previa, always afraid of a bleed. And now this time I had my precious cargo in the backseat. Getting her home and spending time with her outside of the noisy hell that was her home for a week was pure heaven. Cosie was with grandma and grandpa, so Wayne and I had Isis to ourselves after Debbie took off, and we took her little butt to bed and I nursed her for the next two weeks. Considering the twenty weeks on strict bedrest for placenta previa, and the week in the hospital when it became complete, I figure I made out pretty decent. I am grateful most everyday for my life and my family.
The Beginning.