Terence was not what you would call a handsome man, but there was something very sexy about him. Perhaps it was his deep love of family that endeared him to me. So many times he stood beside my drawing board discussing the merits of getting ones ears pierced. "Most babies have their ears pierced now days. I just think that's just another way to get rid of some more money. Every time you go to the mall you'll have to buy another pair of earrings." he said half joking. With a smirk on my face I asked, "What age are your girls anyway? " "Just nine, seven, and ...." he paused realizing his youngest was already three, "...three." he said finally. I couldn't believe his wife had waited this long to get the girls ears peirced. His girls had a head full of curls, wide sweet smiles with the biggest dimples you ever saw. Earrings would frame the picture perfectly. "The middle girl is the one who wants her ears pierced?" I asked, always feeling some sort of connection with the middle kid being one myself. We'd try almost anything to get noticed. Not the baby and not an old standby like the eldest, just the one that's there, just there almost invisible. "Yes!" he said smiling to himself. I think that she had a special place in his heart also because he talked about her most. She was the one that played piano and stated to their surprise that jazz was what she wanted to learn not that old sissy stuff. I often wondered if she knew that he told that story to everyone, even though they strictly insisted that she learn classic piano. At the end of our point and counter point Michelle, the middle daughter, had received ample justification to get her ears pierced. After we talked I wished I could go home and hug her and tell her the good news as if we were family, as if she were mine, as if he were mine.
I thought no one could possibly know how I felt about Terence. Surprisingly one day Phyllis asked me what I saw in him. She was the motherly type and always there to tell you what she thought you felt in any given situation. She said, "I don't think Terence's wife would like the way you two look at each other and talk so close." At this I whirled around in shock. What did she mean, each other. What slight sign betrayed my feelings that could make his wife mad. "What are you talking about now, Phyllis?" I asked hoping she would say something stupid and I would know that she had not a clue of what was a guarded secret. Like a eagle she sighted our body language for one. "Him leaning in close enough to count your eyelashes." she continued, "You know every time he comes back here he stays for at least an hour, just talking to his Renee, it's a wonder his boss doesn't come right back here and get him....oh, that's right most of the time Lynn comes to find him before the hounds are sent sniffing around." she taunted me. Phyllis was right on that account, both of us had been in trouble for keeping company too long during work hours. Luckily both of us were hard workers and used that as an argument to cloud the subject. "And Renee, I think it might be going a little too far for him to ask you to pick out some earrings for his daughter." "OK, Phyllis, what were you doing. Man you had to be sitting right beside his tonsils to hear all that! Shut up and leave me alone. I guess it's a good thing his wife doesn't work here." "Yeah," she said, "'cause if she did you two would be in divorce court." I was tired of this conversation, Phyllis had gone too far this time. Everything she said was as if he cared for me, maybe even the way I liked him. If I could find a man half as good I'd be lucky.
Lunch time. This was the shortest hour of the day. Terence had asked me earlier to walk with him to the pizza place. I accepted the invitation. Laughs were his specialty and this trip proved to be just that. We shared a morbid fear of tripping on a rock or something on the sidewalk and landing in the street where an oncoming car would run over your head, smashing it like a pumpkin. We laughed so hard after I stumbled on a twig. He grabbed my arm in horror to save me from my funny, but very crazy death. All the way to Tony's it was one thing after another, one story funnier than the last. After we sat down and was served the serious conversation began. He told me about his disappointment that his wife had her tubes tied after their youngest was born. Not that he placed so much importance on a male child, but he did wish for another chance to produce one. She was not interested. I told him that I too had had my tubes tied and he asked me what I would do if I met the right man and wanted to have his children. "I'd keep trying, very hard to have kids.....I don't know what's wrong that I can't get pregnant. Is what I'd say. Let's just keep trying, more and more." He laughed at the thought. "No," I said to answer his question, "I guess I don't know what I'd tell him, the truth that I can't have kids, but I know that physically I don't want to have anymore. Like you I'm sure that I'd probably long for them with the right guy." I looked at him thinking that he was that right guy. Before the thought was completely gone he said," Well, I guess I couldn't ask you to have my son, huh?!" I said smiling, "We could just keep on trying, it could happen you know. I'd give you a couple of thousand times to get it right. I don't know what the problem is." On the way back was a little quieter and I thought that I'd be very happy trying to make a boy child with this crazy wonderful man.
Weeks later Terence came to visit. He looked different somehow. His slacks were recently pressed, joined smartly with his white shirt and tie. Terence never wore a tie to work in protest of how unprofessional our employer was. Swaggering though the labyrinth of desks, tilt-tops and flat files he made his way to my area. "What's up! you're looking mighty nice today. Got an interview?" was the standard quip when anybody dressed up at work. "Nope! I'm leaving, this is my last day, I gave my notice this morning." My heart sank. I hoped my face didn't show how devastated I was. I had no time to prepare. Prepare what, I didn't know. "Renee, I'm going to miss you so much. Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten married so young. Before I met you." He hugged me so tightly for a long time. I wanted to kiss him, to show him how much I'd come to love him, instead we looked deep into each others eyes and he gave my hand one last squeeze before he turned and walked away.
By: Cynthia Harges
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