The Ducets
(Doo-sets)
The Ducets
(Doo-sets)
by: Phyllis A. Johnson Evans
Meet the Ducets. They live on da bayou down on da
river front in Louisiana. Pap Ducet, da father, owns a corna
sto' on da river front right beside Bo' Dillys fish market.
Pap is a gentile sort of man 'til you git him riled up. Now,
Sister girl Ducet is Pap's wife. (Sis, is what dey call her).
She helps out at da sto' from time to time. Dat is when she
ain't over at Hadie's Slick Curls gettin' her hair done
up. Now, Sis is heavy on da good book, but loose on da tongue.
If'n you looked gossip up in da dictionarree, shy Sis' name be
right d'are. Pap and Sis have two chil'ren, Charlane and June-Bug.
Charlane is 'bout twelve
now, last I remember. Dey day she tries to act older 'cause she
figur'n on trying to go to Hollywood and 'come an actrix. She
claim she got talent and all. Ain't nobody seen it, but she swears
it's der.
Now, her brother June-Bug is another story all ta-gether.
June-Bug says he ain't going no whairs. Says he's gonna live
off pappy 'til he old and gray. Now, June-Bug 'round six years
old and da way Pap tell it, June-Bug don't have to worry 'bout
livin' 'til he old and gray. Dat boy is two hands full. Why,
jus' yestidy ol man Turner dun caught him stealing sour apples
off his tree, den trying ta put da cor' back on the tree like,
nothin' happened. Some say dat boy gonna end up in da big house
if'n de don't tighten up. No matter. Tryin' to make dat boy
do right is like tryin' ta pull teef from a mad dog. Can't be
done, I tell ya.
Catfish say when he was over Shree'port way, he came
cross a boy jus' like June-Bug. Say da boy was fightin'
with a bird tryin to steal a crumb.
Catfish is Pap's bestest
friend. Pap 'n Catfish like brothers. Why, dey so close if'n
Pap cut himself, Catfish be da one ta bleed. Now, Catfish a fisherman.
Why Catfish da best d'are is if'n you hear him tell it. Ta hear
Catfish talk you'd think he been ev'rywhere and done ev'rythang.
Why, you could mak'up a cidy and I tell ya Catfish done been
d'are. Dey say he in luv wit dat tight-haired Juanita
down da street. 
Hadie say Juanita's hair so tight, she havta
hol' up a white flag ta git it ta lay down, just ta comb it.
Juanita likes to wear dose tight clothes and all. When she switchin
down the street she likes ta look over ha shoulder ta see if'n
anybody lookin'. Some say Juanita runnin' a shot house. Say
da fumes so strong, you pass by on da sidewalk and by da time
you git to da house next do'r, ya high as a kite. Catfish say
dat ain't nothin' but the fancy toilet water smellin' he bought
her over in Shree'port. Say it got a strong 'roma. Say folks
need ta jest leave Juanita alone.
Now, ta git tah what I'm trying to tell ya. Somethin'
strange happen' da other day. Well, da day started off strange
in da first place. Ya see, long as I can reculect, Pap always
opened up da sto' 'round fo' o'clock in da monin. This'n way
the fishermen could come 'n git set for the day. Well, dis day,
da fishermen didn't show up 'til 'round six and not one of d'em
wanted to go out on da water. Even Catfish didn't want to go
out, said he was feel'n poorly. We all figured it was behind
Juanita. Pap knew Catfish weller than anybody else and
so he told everybody ta let him be. 'Round seven, Sis walked
in da sto. She had a pointment with Hadie ta git ha hair fixed.
Dis particula' monin everybody was ah waiting at Hadies. D'are
won't nay seat left in da hole shop.
Come ta find out, a talent scout was coming ta town
ta see if'n he liked da area. 'Possedly, he was lookin' ta do
a pi'ture 'bout people dat lived on da bayou. So folks was runnin'
left and right trying ta git d'are hair and selves straight for
when da scout git d'are. Everybody ceptin' Catfish and Pap.
Catfish was gettin' his money ta gether to git Jaunita
out of jail. Ha bail, dis time, was a tad bit more dan it ever
been. Some say da sheriff was just sick'n tired of hauling Juanita
in and made da bail higher. So, Catfish was purdy quiet thinking
'bout how he was gonna git da money ta git her out.
Sis had already told Pap dat he bettin' not even
think about givin' Catfish nary penny to git da drunk outta jail.
Everybody knew Sis did da talking, but Pap didn't do mush on
listenin' when it came ta Catfish.
Pap slipped da money ta Catfish and he headed on
up ta da jail ta git Juanita. Everbody was just a buzzin round
da dock tryin' ta git ready. Hadie had seen some hairdos up in
Shree'port and was tryin' dem out on everybody. Even on Sis.
Charlane had snuck in ta Sis' makeup and smeared
lipstick way cross ha face. Girl looked like a clown on drugs.
Said dats how dey wear makeup in HollieWood. She had grabbed
d'are ol mangy hound and put a bow 'round his neck. Sayin' all
stars got dogs dat follow dem 'round.
Everybody was gettin' ready 'ceptn Pap. He jest
stood in da do' and enjoyed da sun shining down on his sto' front
stoop. He could smell da fish in da air. He wondered fir a while
'bout how it would be ta leave the bayou. Den June-Bug interuppted
him and bought him back ta reality. June-Bug wanted ta git some
money so dat he could git a new bike. Said dat would make him
look real good for da scout. Said ev'ry boy on da TV set had
a new bike. Pap looked at June-Bug and woundered whether it was
too late to take blood test to see if'n June-Bug was really his
and if'n somebody had been playin' a mean joke on him all these
years.
Finally da time came fadda scout ta sho' up. Everybody
gathered round da walk in front of all da sto's. When da scout
came down by da docks, Charlane walked out with da mutt and smiled
at da scout. Why, if'n you had of seen da look on dat scouts face
you would still be laughing dis day. She scared dat man so bad
dat all da papers he was holdin' flew up in da air and half 'o
dem fell in da river. Everybody ran down ta grab d papers so
that the could git a better look. Da scout realized dat he had
made a mistake and gathered what he could an took off toward Pap's
sto'. In da rear da people were a comin'. Pap yelled out for
all of dem ta leave da po man 'lone and let him splain why he
was d'are.
Da man finally got out dat he wasn't no scout, but
a lawyer from Baton Rouge. Said he was look'n for Juanita LaBlanque.
Ears and mouths was a buzzin'. Dey figures Juanita had gone
and done it now, da big house fin'lly come ta git hah. Jest d'en,
Catfish and Juanita cam' walkin' round da co'na. Everybody looked
at Juanita and turned d'are nose up in da air. Pap told all of
dem ta go home and he asked d man, Juanita and Catfish ta come
int da sto'. When dey got in da sto', Pap closed da shade and
locked da do'. Why, Sis couldn't even git in and it was ha man's
sto'. So dey all waited on the stoop ta hear what happened.
Aft'a 'bout an hour had passed, da lawyer came out
of da sto' with Juanita and Catfish. Dey got in his car and drove
away. Everybody smiled causin' dey knew dat she had gone ta da
big house dis time fa sho. Jest den, Pap came out da sto' with
a big smile on his face. He looked at everybody and started ta
laugh out loud. Pap laughed for 'bout ten minutes it seemed.
Sis grabbed Pap 'bout the arm and tol' him ta be
out with it. Come ta find out, Juanita was now the new own'a
of the majority of da land on the bayou. It was left ta hah by
hah great-uncle from Baton Rouge. He had owned da land fa a long
time and was temptin' ta sell it when he died. Now, it was left
up ta Juanita if'n she wanted ta sell da land or not. Why, d'are
wasn't a smile on one face in da 'hole crowd. Dey all knew dat
dey didn't own da land dey were livin' on and now Juanita had
da uppa hand. Pap owned da land hat his house was on, but not
da sto'. He looked at Sis and thought of da way she had fussed
at him 'bout Juanita dat very mornin'. He started laughing all
over ag'in and couldn't stop.
Time went by, and everybody started treating Juanita
real nice. Da Women's Club invit'd hah to their meetings. Hadie
never once talked 'bout Juanita's hair again and even da sheriff
left hah 'lone. Juanita cleaned up hah act and married Catfish.
Catfish still come around da sto' and talk to Pap. But you know,
d'are was a lot more ta dat story den what Pap had told. Ya see,
dat lawyer won't really no lawyer. He was a friend of Catfish
from Baton Rouge and Juanita didn't n'herit no land from a great-uncle.
Catfish, come ta find out, had really n'herited da land days
befo' and had got his friend ta come in and do all dat. Said
all he ever wanted was fo' Juanita ta git a little respect. Pap
knew all da time, 'causin Catfish was his friend and all, he never
told a soul. Not even Sis.
Illustrations by CYNthia HARges
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