"He just said, 'Fuck you, I'm wearing Oakleys'" -Jesse, about Eric
*while playing poker*
"I have fucked chicks uglier than that hand" -Jesse
"That hand was a beautiful pair of tits" -Jesse
"That's the bitch that fucks you" -Ange
"Go to Harry Mart, get some whipped cream, and watch it!!" -Jesse *in reference to how Eric and Steen should watch Back to the Future 3*
"This outfit is making my nuts rageous" -Rick
*upon Steen telling them about a religion teacher who told them to pray before sex*
"Yeah, it's like, 'Oh wait, honey, I have to get on my knees - AGAIN!'" -Steen
"Yeah, they all speak Spanish and there's no Taco Bell!!" -Eric
*upon calling the store from one of the Produce phones*
*womanly voice* "Um, yes, I bought a dozen eggs on Thursday and I opened the fridge today and there was a chicken running around..." -Greg, fooling Danielle
Christine: "And he's only 19"
Robyn: "But you like them young"
Robyn: "I might get a second job at Hooters"
Greg: "Well you better get those done"
Robyn: "There's nothing wrong with them! Ya just need a good bra!"
*upon Steen turning on Saturday Night Live*
"It's Saturday Night Taped!!" -Dad
Dad: "Would you like a cup of tea?"
Mom: "Sure"
Dad: "Damn!"
"C'mon, come over to the dark side with me and root for the Devils!!" -AJ, to Christine
"Can we call him stickyfingers?!" -Lauren
Steen: i am now super-cool and have more college apparel besides ud. i have a philly u shirt and those little shorts that say *giggles* RAMS across the ass cuz it's the philly u rams
Brian: you SLUT
*upon seeing campus store hours posted at Philly U*
"Those aren't the hours on the napkins" -Lauren
i've gone partially emo. not totally nuts. -Brian
"That does it" *gets out pocket knife* -Kristin, trying to open mustard packets
Eric: i used to have a TV in my room
but it crapped out since it was so old
Rob: good thing we don't have a lifespan like electronics
Eric: i woulda died in like 4th grade
Rob: no sooner, cuz you're like an off brand of Sony
Eric: haha
Rob: like Phony electronics
Eric: i'm like the house brand battery
everyone else is energizer
Rob: no you're the Haus Brand Battery
Lauren: "I need to get gas"
Brian: "So eat some beans then!"
*Steen's cell phone rings*
Lauren: "This is your friendly neighborhood backseat driver. If you are gonna do the speed limit, please drive in the right lane"
Steen: "I will relay the message to Kristin. Please hold." *places phone next to car speaker*
Brian: "You want to turn right!!!"
*Kristin goes to left*
Brian: "Uh...your other right!"
*Kristin goes to right, Mike, who is following, is confused*
Brian: "Oh shit, that road is closed ahead, I forgot"
*Kristin screams in frustration and makes the turn right into the gas station, then turns back onto original roads*
Brian: "Do you remember when I said going down that we should make a U-turn, go for about 5 miles and then turn around again?"
Kristin: "Yeah"
Brian: "That was it!!"
"Road 360. What, does it go in a circle or something?" -Steen
"There's me and my long-ass hair" -Lauren
"Steen, you are small enough to fit into any small space, like a closet - or under a bed!!" -Mike
*upon Lauren and Kristin wondering where to go on the way to the beach*
"STRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIGHT!!!" -Brian
"Heehee, the 2nd "w" is out in that WAWA sign so it just says 'Waa'" -Steen
Stupid chick in NYC: "What's that?!?!"
Nolan: "It's a CHURCH!!!"