*Steen and Kristin exchange a look*
Steen: "You mean vertically challenged"
David: "Well..yeah...but you're also horizontally challenged..not that that's a bad thing"
Bonnie: "So what did you get for Christmas?"
Joe: "Video games, DVDs, socks..."
"...So Ann and I bought this clock and I'm carrying it through the mall. And I was really hoping someone would ask me for the time - I was like, 'God, I hope someone asks me for the time!' And, well, there is a God, because some woman came up to me and asked me for the time, so I pulled the clock out of the bag and said, 'Well, it's 10 after 4..' And she ran away" -Uncle Scott (now you know where part of my weird sense of humor comes from, heehee)
Brian: "I'm about halfway there"
Steen: "Don't make me start singing 'Livin' on a Prayer!!'"
Brian: *pause* "Please don't"
"South Carolina smells like ass" -Brian
Brian: "Soo every few miles there's a billboard for adult diners"
Steen: "...Adult diners?"
Brian: "Yeah...open 24 hours a day, ya get a lapdance whenever you want, y'know..."
Christine: "Aww, you missed it earlier, I was going insane"
AJ: "Aww man!!" (and the scary thing was, he was really disappointed)
*Eddie tells Produce to call 309*
Ron: *on phone* "What-the-FUCK-do you want?!"
Steen: "And how would everyone get there [France]?"
Lauren: "I'll fly everyone out there"
Steen: "What, on your back?"
Steen: "Soo Kristin...how is your prostate today?"
Kristin: *stares at Steen for about 2 mintues, then* "I got nothin"
Dave: "Guys don't regularly talk about their penis size - we just joke about it"
Steen: "Yeah, well I have the biggest car, which means..." *trails off because she realizes what she's saying*
Lauren: "You have the littlest penis. There's no way out of this one"
"And what kind of fake porn have you seen?" -Dave
"No, you see...the plate was teetering dangerously over the edge, like this *demonstrates* and Steen was attempting to cut some meat, like this *demonstrates drunk person trying to cut* and the plate fell over into her lap and she sat there confused" -Kristin
"Haha, they saw you as young, fresh meat" -Christine, to little Ron, when AJ was talking about 2 older ladies hitting on little Ron
Christine: ...are you sure it's just sugar your mom is putting in the cake and cookies? lol
Casey: Secret family recipe -> place one cup crack in cookie dough
Christine: i was a good girl tho! i didn't try to molest him!!
i just...dropped my food...
on me
Sara: i'm so proud
at least it was on you and not his family
JoAnn: "Is tonight Bob's night?"
AJ: "No"
JoAnn: "What time is he here til?"
AJ: "9"
JoAnn: "...Then it's his night you dumbass!!"
*there is a call for salad bar*
Christine: "Salad bar, how may I help you?"
Customer: "Are you allowed to reveal information about the fruit trays?"
Christine: "...Yes..."
*Christine tells Greg about above customer*
Greg: "Did you ask her for the secret password?"
Christine: *upon picking up a box of honeydew* "Mixed melons?"
Greg: "Yeah, different sizes, you know, A cups, C cups..."
Steen: "Why is that turkey sitting there? Chillen?"
Kristin: "De-chillen..."
*upon Mike ordering 4 Happy Meals at drive-thru*
Drive-thru person: "...Boys or girls?"
Mike: "Coke"
*upon talking about Padua girls*
"They're Catholic girl schools!!!!!" -Lauren
*Lauren begs Mike to drive slowly down 273 in her car*
*a van passes us*
Mike: "Aw man, a soccer mom just passed me! *examines van* Laur, he's driving on a spare and he passed me!!"
"I'm going on my lunch. If anyone wants me, tell them too bad - cuz I'm on my lunch." -Brandon