"I don't wanna hafta go pick my meat like I pick my fruit!!" -Brian
"Remember those trips to the orchards in October? 'Here kids, go pick your meat!'" -Brian
"Soo the hallway on my floor still smells like ass" -Brian
"I've gotten so much ass recently I don't know what to do with myself" -Chris
...curse you harry, and all your happiness! -the end of Lauren's away message, when she was talking about work
Robyn: "She looks like a friggin mushroom"
Jimmy and Christine: *giggle*
Robyn: "Oops, did I say that out loud?"
Christine: "Anybody want any gum?"
Jimmy: "No thanks. If people don't like me for my nasty breath, then they don't like me for who I am, and I don't need to be around them!"
Melessia: "Jimmy, there's a fine line between that and just being nasty!!!"
"Shit, this place makes you go insane! You already hafta be a little crazy to work here anyway and then it just gets worse!!" -Jimmy (and there you have it folks - gotta luv Acme)
"He's gonna have no liver by the time he's 40!!!" -Jimmy, about a young (18 year-old), always drunk, co-worker
ahh, memorial day. that joyous occasion where great steaming piles of meat are rendered, charred and consumed by carnivorous americans barbequeing their way to the head of the food chain. enjoy yr holiday folks, i'm going to bed. plop a slab of steamy meat (tm) on the curb for all my fallen homies. -Kristin's away message
"Whatever that is, it's for dinner" -Kristin
Steen: *sigh* "She wants me to change my thesis"
Lauren: "That's not too bad!"
Steen: "It's the ENTIRE PAPER!! Everything else relates to the thesis!!"
Lauren: "See! That's your problem - you did it right the first time!!!"
Steen: *takes off Independent hoodie to reveal Independent t-shirt* "I feel so stupid wearing both of these..."
Brian: "So do the 2 Independents make you Dependent? Like how 2 negatives make a positive...nevermind..."
"...So you two walk in and you hear someone say 'Someone needs a good fucking'? Shouldn't that tell you something?!" -Lauren, to Brian and Steen
"Everyone's out on disability; I want a part of this. All I need is a hairline fracture on my knee...Christine, you get a sledgehammer and hit me on my knee, then I'll be out for 6 months!!" -Ron
*upon discussing the possibilities of the other one calling out cuz the next day is gonna be HELL*
"If you're not here tomorrow I'm gonna find you and actually use the sledgehammer!!!" -Christine, to Ron
"Look, I turned my nametag around and wrote 'Mike' on it" *proud grin* -MikeR
Christine: "Tomorrow's gonna SUCK!!"
Stephanie: "Why?"
Christine: "I'm in salad bar"
Stephanie: "Ohh.." *sympathetic look* (It is SCARY how quickly gossip travels around that store!!!)
Steen: "...We didn't stay long. We got funnel cake, I won my Cookie Monster, Brian got gas..."
Kristin and Lauren: *laugh* "BRIAN GOT GAS?!?!?!?"
Steen: *giggles* "For the CAR!!!!!!!!!"
Brian: *answers question in Trivial Pursuit*
*someone's cell phone beeps*
Kristin: "Was that your ass, Brian?"
Brian: "Yup"
Lauren: "His ass buzzed in!!!"
Kristin: *proudly* "I have four [asscheeks]"
Steen: "Whoa"
Lauren: "Yeah, she waited at many red lights for a long time" (see quotes27 to understand this one..)
*as she reaches to pick up cell phone, car swerves, Steen squeals* "You almost made me kill Steen here!!" -Kristin
Kristin: *dances while driving, then upon seeing no one else dancing* "C'mon, it's not fun unless other people do it!!!"
Kristin and Steen: *dance as Kristin drives too*
"Nope, sorry, can't kill you guys tonight, I have stuff to do tomorrow" -Kristin
"Yeah, well we knew we were on the clock..." -Brian
"Ok, we're going vibrator shopping for her!!!" -Lauren
*after everyone is telling Christine that salad bar is gonna be insane tomorrow and Christine saying she doesn't care cuz she's off*
Ron: "Soo what time are you coming in?"
Christine: "A quarter to NEVER!!!"
Christine: "Thanks for bagging for me"
Bagger Brian: "No problem - it's the least I could do since I scared the crap outta you!!"
"Aw, I woulda paid money to hear you squeal or scream!!" -Bagger Brian
Jackie: *over PA* "Bob the bagger to the service desk please"
Bob (the store manager)" *walks up to the desk*
Jackie: "Aw, no I'm sorry, I said Bob the bagger not Bob the builder!!!"